What Women Do and Don't Want

It's not hard

to treat women right. With respect

and to honor them. Women are not

monsters. They are people. People

who add to our lives, men. Please

help me to help you know what

women want and don't want.

Super actors, Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt starred in a smash movie entitled, “What Women Want,” and it was a wonderful film. The film dealt with Gibson, who was the head of a graphics, public relations, advertising firm, who has a freakish accident with some electric wires and after he recovers, he is able to hear the thoughts of every woman and girl that he meets.

Sounds like “Two Tickets To Paradise,” by Eddie Money, but far from paradise. This accidental “gift” changed Gibson’s character completely. From a guy who only knew women from outside in and now he experienced knowing them from inside out. Of course, he fell in love with Helen Hunt and they lived normally ever after.

The premise, “What Women Want,” has been the wide subject of much research by perfume companies, clothing designers, songwriters, poets, playwrights, and every man who appreciates the artistry and near-perfect creation of females. Many men only ‘think’ that they know what women and girls want only to meet with an awkward date which leads to numerous moments of embarrassment for the guy and laughs galore for the girl.

I cannot sit in judgment on any guy who tries his best to accommodate a woman and meet her every need. It takes a real man in my opinion, to know exactly what a woman is thinking, doing, and why. In short, a man will be points ahead if he is a sheer genius-at-birth and not like me and hordes of other guys who are always in a dark cloud of confusion and wonderment at what we thought was what she wanted, only it was totally wrong. Have you ever been there, guys? Be honest.

In my time on earth, I have experienced this type of confusion: I go into a café for a meal and some coffee. A lady is sitting at her booth. To be gracious, I smile and say, “hi,” and before the stock market can lose another 100 points, she scowls, leers, and her facial muscles tighten up and she snaps, “Just what did you mean by that?” At this point I feel like the two guys who starred on the 1960s sci-fi series on ABC, “Time Tunnel,” for I swear that I have skipped over the previous four seconds in time. So I do what all confused guys do, I say, “Pardon me. I was only being friendly.” Then the morally-superior female replies, “It’s men like you who make our country the crime-ridden land that it is--rapists, wife beaters, drug pushers. Wish I could see you all behind bars!” Now I am convinced that this “lady” is on some heavy medications, so I quietly sit and enjoy my meal without making any eye contact with her anymore.

In my younger, more-foolish days, I would have instantly defended myself verbally and asked, “What did I say that was wrong? When was ‘hi’ made into a profanity? Just what is your problem, ma’am?” But as I have grew older, I find that saying nothing and saving my breath accounts for more maturity than trading senseless remarks with a person who is bent on being right all the time and having their own way. I say to women (and men) like this, “Happy trails, amigo.” I wish I had the time to be your “whipping boy” to punish for someone else’s sins against you, but Jesus’ death on the cross is the ONLY death that matters to me, so just move on along and have a safe life.

My story, “What Women Really Want,” has been compiled from personal experiences, facts that I have found on many sociological websites, watching human behavior shows on the Discovery Channel or The Learning Channel, and just by simply observing women and listening to them talk in real-life wherever I see them. And friends, the findings I am about to share with you, the confused men of my readership, will astound, amaze and shock you. Be ready to learn some key elements that will be of help to you when you are faced with the situation of dealing with women. Any woman.

I want to break this story into two parts: First, I want to share with you, “What Women Do NOT Want,” followed by “What Women Really Want.” Is that going to be a problem. (Speaking to men here), do you feel as if you are at a secret retreat for men only that is being held at some lavish hotel in downtown Atlanta, Ga., called The Essex Marriott and waiters with white coats bring us all the fresh coffee and doughnuts that we can possibly consume? I do.

“What Women DO NOT Want” is . . .

1. Men who dress, act, and appear in public as down-right bums. (See artwork at right for the lousy dressed, don’t-care-how-I-look guys ). Women, deep down inside, cringe with humiliation and actually, fear when a man shows up dressed like Emmett Kelly, the famous clown. It’s a definite turn-off whether you are on a show-up date, a date where you and this gorgeous girl just meet at a fine restaurant for date. Some guys with this dangerous attitude may confuse their bumish looks with self-confidence. Women call it ignorant. And if you are in sales and have women as clients, please, do not wear torn pants, wrinkled shirts, and allow the elastic of your Hanes to show. Please!

2. Loud mouth, boorish men. That is simple enough, guys. Do not waste a woman’s time telling her all about your personal and professional experiences. She might, up to a point, say the first five minutes of the conversation, be slightly-interested in what you are saying. Put a damper on your mouth and see what happens with your lady friend. Do I really need to tell you? If I do, you ARE in bad shape when it pertains to dealing with women.

3. Aggressive, take-charge men. And connect the dots, guys. This is not the Wild West where women swooned when a man charged into her house, swept her off her feet, kissed her passionately, married her and moved her into the house that he had built that morning. All of this in a day’s time. Today’s women are heads of state, lawyers, doctors, professors, writers, singers, and yes, bosses. They have fought and sacrificed to get where they are now. Please not hold on to the “old boy” way of thinking, otherwise, you are destined to be a severely-lonely man.

4. Flirting that becomes obnoxious. Honest. A mild compliment is okay. Women expect some amount of complimenting, but keep it real, men. Calling her ‘babe,’ ‘sweetie,’ ‘sugar lips,’ and ‘mama,’ will NOT get you anywhere with her. This applies to if you are dating her or calling on her for business. Boldness may work at some point, but women really do NOT want a man who’s every word is covered with sugar. Talk about a turn-off and no more dates for you with her. Keep this and all of my advice with you if needed. Women are people, men. Not livestock, or sexual objects or even worse, sexual conquests. I cannot stand the character, Russell Dunbar on CBS’ sitcom, Rules of Engagement. David Spade, not a good actor, plays Dunbar and his only interest in a woman is sex. And sex only. I know as a man, that Dunbar should be my hero, but he isn’t. He is a classless, low-life with no moral compass or any intelligence about women.

Now to share with you . . .”What Women REALLY Want.” Are you enjoying this story/lecture? I am. I always find a lot of pleasure in helping my fellow confused men find their way to the light in giving them the benefit of my years of experience in dealing with women. Remember also, guys, that women are not monsters. Some act like monsters because some low IQ guy abused them mentally or socially and left them to make it the best way they could. Don’t be this guy.

“What Women Really Want” is . . . .

1. A man who will LISTEN when they talk. Simple. Just listen to them. They aren't asking for the world, guys. A little quality-time spent listening to your wife, date, or female boss, will help you to be a better man and your son or grandson will learn from your example and treat his wife or girlfriends with such dignity and respect, that it could catch on. Think about it.

2. A man with a neat appearance. A neat appearance speaks volumes to any woman. First date, first sales call, first time to meet her. Your clothes tell her what kind of man you really are. Do not think that you can just get-by on your devilish good looks. Don’t be a fool. This is 2011. Women are sharp-minded and can see through the finest of acts by men. Be yourself, but dress neat and please, as a favor to me, use the razor in your bathroom. Women appreciate and really want a man with a clean-shaven face.

3. A man who is quiet, humble-hearted and not an actor. That’s it. You do not have to announce to the entire restaurant or business meeting, just who you are. Women aren’t impressed with you loud mouth that seldom is shut long enough to let her say a word. If you don’t heed this tip, she will very politely and lady-like, ask you to take her home. Is that a good hint that you blew it with your ‘war stories,’ and letting her and everyone know how important you think you are?

4. A man who she can trust and confide in. What’s hard about that? Don’t be a “hit and run” type of man. Date a girl a few times to get her into bed and then suddenly disappear. This is probably the LOWEST thing (besides mental and physical abuse) that any man can do to any woman. Be her friend. No law against that. Men and women CAN be friends. Let her trust you and do NOT betray her trust to anyone--and this is not just being faithful to her, but never tell anyone, not even your mom or best friend who saved your life in the war, what she confided in you. Trust is very valuable to women. And most women, when you betray their trust, will seldom trust you ever again. It’s your choice. Be trustworthy. Or be a jerk. You call the shot.

I sincerely hope that in some meager way, that my story has been of help to you, confused guys who walk around in a haze each time you face a woman. That was the goal of my story: To help you be more relaxed, enriched, fulfilled and able to grow (for the better) in the Man - Woman Relationship.

I don’t ask that you try to be perfect in your implementation of these tips, I can tell you this up front, don’t be afraid to let women see your flaws, imperfections, and wounds. I said it. Let them see the REAL you. Women hate, with a purple passion, a hypocrite man.

Now you are ready to take on the world of women.

And no, you do not owe me any thanks at all.

Seeing you confused men, rise to the top and be a happier man is thanks enough.

Email me at

kennethavery5376@yahoo.com if you want to share or discuss these relationship-saving bits of wisdom that I have shared.

I promise to ‘practice what I preach,’ and listen.