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And Sometimes If I’m Really Quiet, I Discover I Really Like Myself

Updated on May 15, 2009

I’m sitting here in the Salt Lake City airport. (Mormons to the left of me, Mormons to the right of me, all with those demonic-like smiles that I can only assume you can only get to wear when you have an overstuffed pantry and tithe a substantial portion of your paycheck to the church.) I’ve gotten here after making the two and a half hour drive from Pocatello, Idaho where I was working all week. I’m tired, I’m feeling isolated here in the airport even though it’s crowded. Then I checked my email. I don’t check emails every three seconds, I don’t tweet on Twitter, I don’t have any of those needs to constantly be on social networks that I find to be actually anti-social, telling everyone what I’m doing every minute. And then I came across an email that caused me to stop everything I was doing and get really quiet. And sometimes if I’m really quiet, I discover I really like myself – Don’t Get Me Started!

The email came from YouTube from my video blogs:

Hey, Just so you know I am a 14 year old (Gay) kid and to be honest... You are like

an earthly idol to me, I love the points you make in your videos and on your blog.

You also seem to be living as a gay American that doesnt care what other people

think about you and I wish I was that way but im still trying to grasp the fact that

a few people know that I am. I just wanted to tell ya how I feel about your videos

and to have you know that you are a great person and a great Eartly Rolemodel.


See all the Forty-Something Gay Episodes by clicking below:

My response:

Wow, you have no idea how grateful I am that you felt safe enough to share your story with me. I don't know that I'm worthy of being your "Earthly Role Model" but there's a very large part of me that wants to live up to that description.

I want you to know that I care very much what people think of me but by the same token I accept myself for who I am and understand that some people are not going to like me because I'm Jewish or short or gay or a bunch of other things. I'm responsible for how I feel about me not them. What I want you to know is that what other people say about me doesn't define me and my hope for you is that you don't allow any negativity that comes your way to define you. You are unique, you are brave, you are strong and you are fabulous.

I'm not going to lie to you; life will be a little harder for you than your straight counterparts. There will be tough times but there will be times when if you're really quiet with yourself you'll discover that you like yourself.

I am here with you as are many who came before me that have paved the way for both of us to tell as many people as we want (or as few people as we want) that we're gay. I will continue to be here should you need to write your feelings to someone. My blog actually started so that I could get stuff off my chest. Sometimes you just feel better when you write it all down and it makes it easier to let it go. I am here. You are where you are with a life of excitement, anger, love and frustration ahead of you. Strap yourself in because it's going to be a frighteningly wild ride!

Tomorrow's blog is for you.

All My Everything,


Soon after I sent the above email they wrote back concerned I might use their name. I assured them I wouldn’t and then the following response came from my new friend. I do hope he/she doesn’t have too rough of a time of it.

Lol, thanks for being so cool about everything. And by "Earthly Rolemodel" I ment someone that is currently living on the earth and that has never been anywhere as in Heaven or Hell as which are belived in the Bible. I hope you have a good night and you have a good time with the blog and that. Thanks for listening to all ive had to say!


I’m a believer that everything happens for a reason. Today I was driving in the car with two co-workers who asked me if my mate and I ever thought of adopting a child. I gave them the answer I always give which is that my partner and I have led a life of travel for business having been in theatre for most of our lives and now my working in corporate America and we just don’t think that would be a fair environment to raise a child. I then went on to tell them what I’ve always felt. I feel very proud of any gay couple that has a child and I do believe that they can be wonderful parents. If I were to commit to having a child in my life I wouldn’t try to have a baby with a surrogate or adopt a baby, I would want to take a teenager into my home that has been thrown away by his or her parents because they’re gay. There are so many kids out there like this who need a safe environment to grow up in with positive gay role models. I believe I could be that, do that for a teen and I would love to if my situation ever changed. I know there must be some gay couples out there who have done this and I can only wish that even more do this to help the gay youth that guess what, still need our help. The email that came for me is proof that our gay youth needs us to listen and help them however and whenever we can. Coincidence that this email came today, I don’t think so.

I joke about being a Gaytriarch in my own family but it’s a title I wear like a badge of honor. I hope I can live up to the title the young gay who wrote in to me and I will think of them often as I write my blog or record a video. I can’t help but feel a sort of responsibility and it sort of makes me feel really great to have that awesome burden. And sometimes if I’m really quiet, I discover I really like myself – Don’t Get Me Started!

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    • Josh Ketola profile image

      Josh Ketola 8 years ago from Ohio

      The glbt teen community needs more people like you! I know there are many who are tossed and torn out there on the streets that wish for someone like you to take them in and love them for who they are. I hope you inspire others to take this stand and remember adoption isn't just for the infants. There are hurting kids and teens who want nothing more that to be a part of a family. Cheers!

    • CiscoPixie profile image

      CiscoPixie 8 years ago from I'm in a world of my own, but aren't we all?

      That is such a moving hub.. You are a fantastic writer. Keep up the excellent work :)