Anger Control Myths
Anger Control, is it possible?
Your blood boils when you get angry, and you can lose your temper fast, Is anger control possible?
Some people believe that anger is inherited and there is no way of controlling anger. Others believe that venting their anger is the best method for managing anger and feel that by "letting off steam they are making thier best effort at dealing with anger.
These and other myths about anger control often stand in the way of taming the beast. These myths will be explored and some light shed on steps you can take towards managing anger in an effective way.
Three Myths About Managing Anger
Myth 1: Anger is Inherited
Some people believe anger control is not possible because they are born that way. They reason that since my father (or mother) was that way, I have to be too. While there may be some inherited tendencies to feel things more strongly, including anger, the need to express that anger through aggression is learned, and it is not as hard as it might seem to learn more effective and appropriate ways of expressing anger without violence.
Myth 2: Venting Anger Helps
Popular culture and some TV psychologists led us to believe that screaming or beating on a pillow somehow releases pent up anger. This idea is as antiquated as the steam engine, and these antics, instead of managing anger, tend instead to sustain and foster its aggressive expression.
Myth 3: Aggression is Necessary
Some people think that you have to be aggressive to get what you want something. The thinking goes you need to intimidate, dominate, or even harm someone, to win at all costs. Conversely those who can harness their anger and channel it effectively are more successful, and aggression is usually the mark of a desperate person on the way to losing rather than winning, because they are not controlling anger or their conflicts.
Managing anger is not about taking away those big angry feelings, but shrinking the size of the anger down to a manageable level. Anger like fear or anxiety, is a signal that something feels wrong, and there is a good chance that you need to attend to the thing that made you angry. Often something happened that hurt you, and ignoring it is not a good idea.
But if the angry feelings are too big, the problem does not get addressed - at least not effectively, and the big reaction, if it doesn't lead to a bad end, instead often leads you in a bogus direction. You need just enough of those feelings to fuel a sensible and effective solution. no more and no less.
Dealing With Anger
The trick in managing anger is to find a way to tame your feelings. Many of the grounding techniques useful for managing flashbacks can help with anger control. Relaxation techniques and breathing exercises that are often used with managing panic attacks and hyperventilation also can come in handy.
The types of distraction techniques used to fight insomnia are also helpful. For example, if someone tells you to count to ten, chances are that will just make you angrier. But if instead you daydreamed about ten different things, all of which matter more to you than the conflict, it would be easy to divert that anger.
Psychologists and other mental health professionals often teach these skills, and other related concepts like how to be assertive, and how to resolve conflicts. Anyone can learn them, and if you figure out how to apply them t your own efforts at dealing with anger, then your the anger control efforts will be successful.
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