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Are Men Intimidated By Dating Financially Successful Women?

Updated on July 10, 2011

Tales From Women Who’s Finances Are A Natural Man Repellent. . .

A prevailing modern issue in the world of relationships is that men are intimidated by women with high flying careers. The Internet is littered with such tales filled with emotion and hysteria, but is it true?

I read one story of a woman who is a toxicologist, (for the record, that's another one of those medical specialist fields with a fancy names usually ending with "ist") who claims she always tells men she's a flight attendant. Apparently that's the "dream job" that captures men's sex appeal towards women. Subsequently a few female posters chime in, nodding their heads in agreement.

Next story is a tale of a woman in her late 20's who owns her own upstart business in Manhattan. Apparently she can't get a date if her life depended on it, keep in mind these are her words, not mine. She claims the situation is so awful; that the best she can hope for is pretending to be a maid and getting a "quickie" with the clerk who makes minimum wage at the convenience store. Just the thought of a female executive satisfying "her needs" by doing it with the minimum wage clerk behind the counter of the local convenience store is enough to make me chuckle and run my imagination wild. So much so; that this woman could probably make another million dollars writing a book on the subject matter with the appropriate diagrams and instructions.

Then there's the story of a woman in her early 30's who is a software engineer. Being a woman in her 30's, she's starting to feel that all too common "biological clock." She's looking for a decent man and wants to "settle down." Apparently, making numerous long stories short, her dating life consists of men running away because she has a good job and wants children. Subsequently a flock of women posters raise their champagne glasses chiming "here, here!" The irony of the entire situation is she went on to complain that she often finds her men cheating on her with "welfare moms."

Of course, there's never any accountability in these sad stories. What, accountability in the world of dating? What a preposterous suggestion! Yes, I know, I know. . . Please forgive me for being a fearless radical, but ladies, please just take a moment to sit down. I'm going to teach you a few things about men. As hard as it is to believe, there's certain skills you must have to excel in this area, skills that the following women obviously don't have despite all their financial success. Don't worry; it shouldn't take too long, after all men are not that complicated. Let's just say, if you're intelligent enough to run your own company, this should be easy. . .

Men Don't Care How Much Money You Make!

Yes, it's true. I will repeat myself: Men don't care how much money you make or your job. While income and occupation might be tucked in a man's hunting list somewhere, the priority level is so small that it shouldn't be a factor. Suffice to say, it's often on the bottom of the list. I would go on to say that to most men, a woman having a lot of money is actually viewed as a small added bonus, not a hindrance. Please keep in mind though, your money is merely a bonus on the bottom of the list to most men, and flaunting it around will hardly serve you. The more time you spend on this subject matter, the less time you spend advertising the features men truly desire. The fact of the matter is you can't buy your way ahead. The woman who works at McDonald's has just as much chance as a company C.E.O. This is a fair competition, rather than lament over it; cherish it.

So if men don't care about money or my job, what do they care about? The first and most obvious is your physical appearance. I wish I could be politically correct and dance around this issue, but I'm afraid to say it matters much to men. A guy doesn't care whether the girl works at McDonald's or is an accountant, as long as she's hot, she'll be desirable to men. Fortunately for women, this isn't exactly the most difficult position to be in. Many days I actually envy women in their easy position when it comes to dating. Let's just say, the expectations and demands of physical appearance men put on women, are by far less strenuous than the career and wealth expectations many women put on men. So much so; that men in their 20's have difficulty getting dates due to the lack of funds people typically exhibit around this age group.

So what does this physical presence entail? Must I look like Barbie? For some men, I would say yes. For most men, I would say no. The best insight I can give you is that each man has his own preferences in women as to what he considers attractive. In fact, I would go on to say it's every man's fantasy to find a woman uniquely attractive to him, as that means less competition coming from other men.

The best advice I can hand out in terms of keeping up with appearances is to stay healthy. If you keep yourself in shape and you're not afraid of a treadmill; that's often more than sufficient to the eyes of many men. In hindsight, this isn't a difficult task at all, especially for a wealthy woman with vast resources. She can hire a personal trainer, get a gym membership at the best gym facilities, and can afford the best makeup and clothes. A wealthy woman has enormous advantages in winning the appearance game over a poor girl. Yes, there are some poor girls who have incredibly resilient genes and look great despite their misfortune, but understand as a wealthy woman you have the means to overcome any "kinks" in your appearance. The plain Jane's of modest means may not be so lucky. . .

The second issue that men care about when seeking women has to do with personality. Over time, this issue may become number one on any man's priority list with experience, valued even over that of appearance. You must be intelligent in your conversations. I can just hear the objections in the background, "men don't value intelligence!" Please, read over what I wrote, I stated intelligent in your conversations. Fact of the matter is men will choose a woman with the I.Q of a pea brain, over that of a Master's degree in philosophy, if the woman with the pea brain I.Q is intelligent in her conversations. She could be down right dumb in other areas, but if she knows how to converse, she will be most pleasing to men. Now, I still hear some objections in the background, but. . . but. . . I've seen men enjoy conversations with dumb women who talk about their dog hooking their socks with it's tail, while I talk about molecular biology. . . Wrong! You're not listening to me! The dog story is hilarious, the molecular biology, not so much. Clearly you're not demonstrating social intelligence here. Not only is the molecular biology conversation inappropriate for the circumstances, it's also annoying.

If there's one thing any woman must avoid if she wishes to capture the heart of any man, it's being annoying. Under no circumstances shall you be annoying. A dumb woman, with dumb conversation material, whom is pleasant, will win the day over a smart woman, with creative material, whom is annoying. The I.Q of dating conversation is to bring the annoyance meter to level zero. If you can accomplish this goal, men will be caught in a spell, as you’ll be well ahead of the game. Very few women have the discipline to avoid being annoying for no more than fifteen minutes. Don't worry, men are used to it by now, we don't expect perfection and we've built our own mental force field. However, if you can pull off a full twenty minute, two way conversation, not coming across as annoying, your desirability as a woman will become legendary. Again, what does all this have to do with money? Absolutely nothing!

So this brings me to my third and final closing point on how to come across as physically and emotionally attractive to men. You must laugh at our lame jokes. Take this article for example; I came up with a series of jokes and sexual innuendos. Some of them were fairly clever, whereas likely most of them fall anywhere from lame to annoying. You must swallow your pride and laugh at it all. I know, it's not fair, as I realize I'm telling you the emotional contract involves accepting annoyance in your man, while refraining from being annoying yourself. Love is never just, its passion and fire disguised as lust. . .

Besides, while love is never fair, women have their advantages emotionally in this contract as well. Mainly, women have the final say, a power that if you were wise you should never give up. Believe me, its well worth putting up with some annoyance. . .

Quick Summary On The Book Of Men:

So, here's a recap on what men desire in a woman:

  • Attractiveness (healthy)
  • Don't start annoying conversations
  • Laugh at our lame jokes
  • All of this could be summed up by two attributes: Patience and tolerance.

What does any of this have to do with how much or how little money a woman makes? Nothing, money simply isn't a factor.

-Donovan D. Westhaver


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    • profile image


      3 years ago

      This is true. but when I know a woman makes more than me I believe she will be less interested in me and don't pursue a relationship as strongly as I would if I had a higher income. this might be because at least in college and high school lower income background was an instant turn off to women I dated.

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      7 years ago

      "Men Don't Care How Much Money You Make!" No truer words have ever been spoken. I've dated a woman who was on welfare, business executive,waitress,entrepreneur..etc If I were attracted to her both phyically and personality wise that's all that matters. Men and women place a different value on traits of the opposite sex. Looks & Sense of Humor matter the most to men. The majority of men aren't looking for a woman to pay their bills or offer them a lifetime of financial security. More often than not if a man tells a woman he's "intimidated" by her "success" he's lying to make her feel better about the breakup. Lots of wildly famous and successful women seem to have no problem getting dates. If Halle Berry earning $10-$14 Million per movie can find a boyfriend who is "not intimidated" by her success than surely a woman earning six figures can find a guy who could care less about her income. It's only natural to blame or point our finger outward when we don't have what we want out of life. The truth is we're all responsible for OUR own happiness!


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