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Are Other People Controlling You?

Updated on March 8, 2016
Sometimes we have to just say "Stop!" when we feel we are losing control.
Sometimes we have to just say "Stop!" when we feel we are losing control.

 There are times in life when we find ourselves becoming extremely frustrated with others who seem to be imposing their will upon us.

We may find our phone ringing off the hook with phone calls asking that we do this or do that.  Possibly whenever we come home there is another item that someone else had added to our to do list and the stress washes over us as overwhelment consumes the moment we reside within.

"You need to do this!"  "You need to do that!"

Scheduling all we must do each day can sometimes be difficult enough without all the additions of other people's wants and needs.  When we find we are living a life that does not seem to even belong to us, the concept that others are controlling our very existence can creep up and take over with huge resentments forming through to our very core.

"Grrrrr...." May rightly describe what we are thinking any time another request or demand is put upon us.

It is at this point, and preferably before, that we need to stop and analyze what we are doing each day.  Think about the place in our life of the person or people in our life who we believe are taking over control of us.  Consider if our feelings of powerlessness are coming from their behavior or are they rooted in actions of our own doing.

Communication may be sadly lacking at times when we feel we have lost control of our own life.  We may be finding ourself in a rut where we are simply moving about from one task to another, not knowing where the days are going and not knowing why we are even doing any of the things we are doing each day.

It is possible that this may be fixed with just a little bit of communication on our part or perhaps requesting more communication from those who are making these requests of us.

It may be necessary for us to answer every request that is made with a "Why?"  "Why do you need me to do that?"  "Why am I the person you are requesting this from?"

Typically at these moments, we have simply become the person who is known to be the willing one to take on whatever task is assigned.  We may not even mind doing all that we are doing, but we might just feel as though we are being taken for granted.  That may be the actual issue that is frustrating us.

Are you performing a number of tasks for another person or for other people and never receiving any appreciation for what it is that you are doing?

Are you simply expected to answer every request with a yes?

If this is the case, then it is important to look at yourself and find out why you have decided to take on this role.  Sometimes it is good to simply start saying no to everything and anything that is counterintuitive to your own goals.

This will free up your time and give you more of an opportunity to think about what it is that you really want to do with each moment of your day, why you want to do that and how to go about pursuing a life heading in that particular direction.

Sometimes a simple, non-confrontational discussion with others whom you are feeling controlled by may be able to put an end to the frustration you are feeling.  You may just need to vent a bit.  In that case, find a trusted friend or family member who can provide an objective opnion and discuss the matter and your feelings with them.

Occasionally, all you need is a sounding board in these instances because once you get what you are thinking and feeling out, there is a pressure release and an enabling effect upon you that will help you to sort out what is really going on in a much more productive way.

Remember that you are the one that is in control of your life and that you are the only one who can stop others from taking that away from you!


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    • Alicia Crowder profile image

      Alicia Crowder 8 years ago from Everywhere

      LOL! :)

    • profile image

      issues veritas 8 years ago

      I didn't follow the link, you can't control me....