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Are Women Better Than Men?

Updated on August 28, 2009

Because I write a lot for men who wear women's clothing, I also interact with a great deal of men who aspire to femininity. There's nothing wrong with that in itself, but occasionally I get the sense, (and occasionally it is spelled out for me very plainly,) that a man thinks that women are actually better than men. Sometimes a man might even be convinced that men are nearly worthless and women are better.

Do I think this is the case? Do I think that women are better than men? No. A thousand times no. I also don't think that men are better than women. I think each gender comes with its own broad set of traits which may be expressed more or less in various individuals and that everyone should be judged on their own merits regardless of gender.

Yes, that was a paragraph of drooling obviousness, but apparently it was necessary drooling obviousness.

When we come across men who think they are better than women, we are automatically filled with deep seated loathing. We call them chauvinistic, narcissistic, awful terrible men. We are shocked and appalled. (Some women are also wildly attractive to these men because their belief that women are inferior to them allows them to behave in ways which make them appear confident and strong.)

When men think they are worse than women, we often don't know quite what to do with that. It's really not an attractive trait for most women, well at least not this one. (I have an exceedingly low tolerance for people who put themselves down, it's a waste of life and time to do so, and too often it is simply a mechanism for avoiding responsibility and stepping up in one's own life. That applies to men and women equally.)

No true good comes from feelings of inequality. At best it might perhaps make one a good yes man or woman, but at worst it makes one a simpering, self pitying mess, unable to actually provide anything of value to others. That's right. If you think you are worthless because you're a man or for any other reason, then you can make yourself worthless to others because you refuse to offer them anything. You don't put yourself out there because you don't think you are worth putting out there.

I never thought I would quote Kanye West except to laugh at the time when he said that nobody would want a book's autograph, but he did once say a very wise thing: Get Use To Getting Used.

From the book 'thank you, and you're welcome'
From the book 'thank you, and you're welcome'

The underlying sense of this is that when people are useful, we value them. If they are not useful, if they are too busy curling up and feeling bad about themselves to go do what needs to be done, then they are not useful. The most useful people are the ones who garner the most rewards in life. Those who do not make themselves useful make themselves useless.

Feeling worthless is a self fulfilling prophecy whether you're male, female, or somewhere in between.


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    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      9 years ago

      Nat, PRO TIP: Sometimes people leave comments for the sake of leaving comments. Trying to make sense of them is like trying to make sense of email spam. I wouldn't waste your time. :)

    • profile image


      9 years ago


      Maybe I do not understand what you are saying. Maybe you can elaborate?

      Agree: each person is an individual.

      However, it seems you do not agree that there are characteristically MALE and characteristically FEMALE behaviors, responses or attitudes.

      Elsewhere Hope has posted the bell-shaped curve. Approx 67% of values (here, behavioral norms or values) fall within ONE standard deviation from the mean. Think of height or weight. Most values cluster around some average value. These average values would be THE TYPICAL MALE RESPONSE or THE TYPICAL FEMALE RESPONSE to a situation. True, there are almost always outliers, non-typical responses.

      Men are supposedly physically stronger than women and at times that is certainly "good." However, women are thought to be more loving and nuturing, for example. That, too, is "good," admirable and useful. Which is more important or better? I would not venture to say.

      Hope's point was that feeling worthless is counter-productive.

      dohn121 echoed and expanded on that.

      My point was that each person, whatever the gender, should rightly asses the strengths and weaknesses of BOTH genders' norms. Neither gender is superior to the other and has both strengths and weaknesses.

    • tanay253 profile image


      9 years ago from Berkeley,CA,USA

      This is a matter of Great Debate as the origin and quality of a human being is not gender specific.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Each person has his or her own opinion of him/herself and each is person different. As you write, each person (and gender) has innate strengths and weaknesses. A person may FEEL worthless at times (that may be normal), but to feel that way always is probably a sign of something wrong inside the head or soul.

      I speculate that, at times, each person IMAGINES that he (she) would have preferred to be created as the opposite sex. I see no harm in this and, on the contrary, it is probably healthy for us to comtemplate and admire the strengths in others -- and recognize the weaknesses if this can be done in a constructive manner.

      For the transgendered, this imagining or preference may even go so far as surgery. As you often write, one should be comfortable with one's own self, in one's own skin.

      Society or a majority may not (yet) approve of men in women's clothes or homosexuality. The antagonism may be hard withstand or overcome for some and they remain in the closet while others come out. Others have overcome their fears or society's stigmatizations.

    • dohn121 profile image


      9 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

      You definitely got it right. Neither sex is "better" than the other. We all have our imperfections and properties that can make us "better" or "worse" than the opposite sex. One thing's for sure, we have to coexist in order to keep the human race going! Nuff said. Great take on this more-than-necessary argument!



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