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"Are You In A No - Win Situation"

Updated on September 1, 2013

"Are You In A No- Win Situation"

You are your number one priority and the only on that know what it takes to make you happy.
You are your number one priority and the only on that know what it takes to make you happy.
Only you know exactly what makes your heart and put a smile on your face.
Only you know exactly what makes your heart and put a smile on your face.

"Are You In A No - Win Situation"

Are you living in a marriage of convenience? where your spouse is no longer showing you love before you throw in the towel. You might even call it quits to save you and your children, if you were blessed with any. Let me say that I am not an expert by any means but I do know what worked for me. You will have to find out what will work for you. I want to tell you that, when you're in this kind of marriage where your spouse lose interest in you. It doesn't what the reason maybe you become hurt and disillusion about the relationship. When we are put in this kind of relationship, we tend to lose interest in things and especially in ourselves and appearance. Let me tell you that doing this is not an option, it only make things worse for the both of you. Now, I know that you're at a point in your life that you don't really care one way or another. You feel like your spouse seem to be into something else or someone else and has left you to deal with your pain and loneliness all alone. I want you to know that regardless of how bad things are for you right now, you have to snap out of it to get yourself back together again regardless of how bad your spouse is acting.

You have to start somewhere so, I want you go out and get your nails done, and maybe get a hair cut, color and style that you like. Everything you do will be done for you because you need to pamper yourself. I want you to keep yourself in impeccable condition, even if you don't feel like doing it. I want you to fix up your face with your make up and use a little colored lip gloss, even if you don't use lip stick. Start your day off, from the moment you get up, making plans to make your self pretty and get out of the house. Every day plan to do something special for your self because you are the # 1 priority now. Don't forget to wear your best clothes and use your favorite cologne or perfume, or if you're a man wear your favorite after shave or men's cologne. Make a date to always take your self somewhere, even if it's nothing but going to the movies or McDonald's by your self. You cannot take the kids, because it will sabotage the aura that I'm trying to set for you, that will make your spouse wonder where are you going and who you're going with. It's very essential that you disclose nothing to your spouse, tell them you're going out and you will be back, that is all they need to know.

When you're interested in getting your spouses attention, they will notice your changes and actions. Believe it or not, when you start taking care of yourself and doing things for you, that will make you feel good. You will realize you deserve better and start to enjoy life again. We also have those that have gain extra weight, so believe it or not; the best thing you can do for you and your health is to join someones community gym and go walk the treadmill 3-4 times week 30-45 minutes a day. There are other exercising equipment you can use, but start slowly and build up your stamina so you can walk a good while on the tread mill. These action at the gyms will take off unwanted pounds, plus boost your self esteem. When it comes to your daily meal time start cutting your meal portion in half, also cut out sugary drinks like sodas, especially diet sodas because they hamper your weigh loss. Get rid of carbohydrate's and eat more fruits and veggies, even raw one with a little lite ranch dressing.

You can drink green tea and maybe some low calorie juices, but mostly water. Make sure you get enough water in your diet. You also need to change your eating habits, you check books out at the library and then buy whole wheat products, like pasta, no sugar added cereal and whole wheat breads. Make sure you always take out some time for yourself. It's a requirement that you follow this advice to the letter and you will start to see result for your self. It's very important that you don't do this for a little while and the stop, you need to have this as a life time change and not get back into the self debilitating act of self destruction. The most important thing to do is get yourself back on the track of life and the more you continue to do things for yourself, the more happy and self assured you will become and you will have the strength to walk away, lf you have to retain your dignity and sanity.

Benny Faye Douglass (C) Copyright 2011

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    • creativeone59 profile image
      Author

      benny Faye Douglass 7 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      Thank you Hello, for your visit and words of wisdom. Hello, they will reap what they sow. Godspeed. creativeone59

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 7 years ago from London, UK

      I feel sorry for any genuine person having their marriage and home broken. It is so hard and does destroy you but you got to find a way go on, especially when there where children. Those absolutely cold blooded people who break up a home I can't write down what i think of them. It is amazing it never happens to them. They always seem to come up top.

    • creativeone59 profile image
      Author

      benny Faye Douglass 7 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      Thank you dahoglund for your visit and analogy. I apprecaite you. Godspeed. creativeone59

    • creativeone59 profile image
      Author

      benny Faye Douglass 7 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      Thank you Caroline, for your visit and words of wisdom. I appreciate you. Godspeed. creativeone59

    • creativeone59 profile image
      Author

      benny Faye Douglass 7 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      Thank you Ruby, for your visit and your true words of wisdom. Godspeed. creativeone59

    • creativeone59 profile image
      Author

      benny Faye Douglass 7 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      Thank you LG, for your visit and comment, you're welcome for the advice. I appreciate you. Godspeed. creativeone59

    • creativeone59 profile image
      Author

      benny Faye Douglass 7 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      Thank you Genna, for your visit and comment, I appreciate you. Godspeed. creativeone59

    • creativeone59 profile image
      Author

      benny Faye Douglass 7 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      Hey Will, I think you hit the nail on the nail. Thank you for your visit and comment. creativeone59

    • creativeone59 profile image
      Author

      benny Faye Douglass 7 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      Thank you Eiddwen, for your visit and comment. Goldspeed. creativeone59o

    • creativeone59 profile image
      Author

      benny Faye Douglass 7 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      Micky, I'm so sorry that you suffered such creul heart brea

    • creativeone59 profile image
      Author

      benny Faye Douglass 7 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      Thank you Veronica, what you say is true. Godspeed. creativeone59

    • dahoglund profile image

      Don A. Hoglund 7 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

      When a person feels that things are going too bad to cope with9not necessarily marital relations) it is wise to act in a poitive manner, even if you don't feel like it.

    • CarolineVABC profile image

      CarolineVABC 7 years ago from Castaic

      Great hub, Faye! It is true that sometimes, after many years of marriage, whether it is for convenience or not, people start losing interest in each other, and it is very important to take care of yourself at this point, rather than letting yourself go. Who knows...your spouse might start noticing you again, and bring back the "fire" into your marriage? Regardless, whether that happens or not, we owe it to ourselves to become a better person, both physically and mentally.

      Also, besides joining a gym, volunteering or joining a cause that you believe in will also be helpful in maintaining your sanity and becoming healthier mentally. Sometimes, this will also make your social circle bigger and if you are in networking, this can also be beneificial. Thank you, Faye, for sharing your great wisdom, once again. Keep writing. God bless!!!

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 7 years ago from Southern Illinois

      It is so important to stay in shape, eat healthy, don't smoke or drink, get enough sleep, try to think happy thoughts, let loose of the past. ( Letting loose of the past has been the most difficult for me, but i'm working on it every day and i'm gaining ground.) Thank you for your wisdom.

      Cheers

    • lifegate profile image

      William Kovacic 7 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      CO,

      Thanks for sharing a lot of good advise, but this is great, "you have to snap out of it to get yourself back together again." Oh so true. Love it!

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 7 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Well done, Faye. We often let ourselves go to take of someone, or something, else.

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 7 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Yup. First things first and that means taking care of the business of taking care of yourself.

      Great Hub Faye!

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 7 years ago from Wales

      This is a great hub creativeone and thank you for sharing this one with us.

      Take care

      Eiddwen.

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 7 years ago

      Oh yeah! "Are you living in a marriage of convenience, where your spouse is no longer showing you love before you throw in the towel and call it quits to save you and your children, if you have any." I've been there and will never shake it Faye- not here on planet Earth. I pray the Lord's Prayer as we hope this world reflects what heaven is supposed to be.

      But I lost a bike shop, an inn or home or house worth half mill. But- I lost a daughter. There is nothing to make amends for this. I hold no hard feelings (he says). I still pay for life insurance policies for three family members who never speak. I am not the beneficiary in any of the policies. When I die they receive $50,000. It was $100,000. In return for my "gifts" which are too numerous to list- I have nothing. I don't even the love from my daughter, unless you can count an occasional text message or email. No win situation? I'm a Vietnam Veteran. What are the chances? But there is so much suffering. So much confusion. So much apathy. God bless you Faye.

    • Veronica Allen profile image

      Veronica Allen 7 years ago from Georgia

      I tell you creativeone....this is so relevant for many of us today. Great advice. Rated it up!

    • creativeone59 profile image
      Author

      benny Faye Douglass 7 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      Thank you barbergirl, for your visit and comment and I really wasn't trying to kick in anyone in the butt, but you do what you have to get the momentum moving in the right direction.I appreciuate you. Godspeed. creativeone59

    • barbergirl28 profile image

      Stacy Harris 7 years ago from Hemet, Ca

      Whether you are having problems in your marriage, getting up in the morning and getting ready... even if you have no where to go... is a great way to start the day. I find that since I am not working, I haven't been getting up and getting ready. I notice the difference in my happiness levels and my self esteem. Thanks for the kick in the butt!

    working

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