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How To Rekindle And Get The Sex Back In Your Marriage

Updated on August 5, 2012

Are You Having Problems In Your Marriage?

Are you living in a sexless marriage? The statistics are rising and more couples in their early 30's and forties are having sex less than 3 times per year. If you can relate to this topic what can you do? Just accept it? This is just how it is? Wrong answer. There can be many reasons why there is less sex.

Here are some excuses to look out for:

1. Too tired.

2. I don't feel attractive any longer.

3. Just had a baby.

4. The kids are home.

5. Lack and desire.

6. Women not having an orgasm.

These are just a few of the reasons. One major reason is intimacy may be lacking and communication in the marriage. If you had a healthy sex life before you need to make some changes. Complaining about it will not improve the situation. Having a date night at least once per week will help the situation. Reconnecting is key. Having a career, children, hobbies and spending less time with one another will lead to less sex in a marriage. Both people need to work at it and open communication. Men are more visual in this department. If you are a woman reading this you need to make yourself attractive. Try Victoria Secrets. Touching, kissing a nice back rub. Women need to make their man feel appreciated and loved and they will when they are having sex with the woman they love. When people feel there is something lacking it is natural to long for it else where. DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN. Every one's needs must be met when you love someone.

If you feel you have gained some weight and feel less attractive do something about it. Don't let your man or woman lack in this department because trust me there are plenty of women who would love to snatch him. Feel good about your self. Go for walks or get a treadmill. Sometimes we all go thru some depression at times. Having a baby can make anyone feel less attractive but you need to get back what you had before. .

Some men that lack sex in the marriage may resort to porn or even cyber sex. It can also lead to divorce. If a date night or other things I have mentioned have not worked than marriage counseling may be the answer. Facing the problem instead of resorting to other things is what you need to do. Ignoring it will lead to an unhappy and unfulfilled marriage. Having a healthy sex life depends on the couple. The average in a healthy marriage would be at least once per week. Not once per year. Many women do not enjoy sex because one of two things may be happening. 1. Not having an orgasm. 2. Experiencing pain during intercourse.

Open communication should be discussed and seeking a doctor in this department. Some women have a hard time achieving an orgasm and will just fake it. Open communication and talking about what he or she would like in the bedroom. This is the person you should feel the closest with and there should not be hesitation to be able to discuss it openly and honestly about it. Remember that we need to treat each other and make the other person a priority.

The Bible does say that he brings a man and a woman together as one flesh. God wants a man and a woman in a marriage to procreate but to also have your needs satisfied in a marriage. When a man or woman goes outside the marriage to have a physical or emotional affair it is a sin. If you pray about it God will not allow you to be tempted above and beyond what you can handle he will be there for you to take the temptation away. It is up to you to make the changes you cannot expect the other to change. What can you do about it to make it better. Stop doing things that will interfere with this. I know a few people who are not happy but justify their behavior. It is not ok because Sin never satisfies.

When we feel loved it will show and having an intimate and sexual relationship is key. Everyone's needs their needs to be met and not being selfish. So many people are on the net looking for something else. Work it out with the one you love and making it work. You cannot expect the other person to be happy in a sexless marriage if you think this way, You're headed for disaster. Fight for your marriage!!!!

Can A Sexless Marriage Work?

Can A Sexless Marriage Work?

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    • profile image


      6 months ago

      I have tried this . I have talked to him. I have cried and told him how I feel and how it makes me feel like I am not attractive any more. He said he loves me. But still not getting any. I have even told him I was going to leave but nothing has changed. I am sorry I lied he is watching prom more and more. What do I do? PLEASE help

    • sandylongman profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago

      Thank you!!!

    • skeeter747 profile image


      7 years ago

      Good read Girl ! Thanks

    • sandylongman profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      If you read the Bible it is called Adultry and yes it is a sin but if you do not repent and not repeat the same sin over and over and not learn to do it again God will not forgiveInstead of cheating on your wife maybe you could have a good satisfying marriage. Karma What comes around goes around. Hopefully your wife doesn't cheat on you.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      I am in a sexless marriage and it is not at all wrong to look else where because it is human nature, God forgives and forgets, but to live in a sexless marriage is hell if the other is not willing to work at the marriage at all. Or to use sextoys is not really a sin, just mere satisfaction to get the "feeling".

    • sandylongman profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      Well God can fix anything!!! Its not sex that gets fixed its the person. Sounds like you have just settled. If your older or younger everyone wants to feel loved and appreciated. Sex is only part of it.

    • profile image

      John Wiggens 

      7 years ago

      Everyone has a answer to fixing a sexless marriage. Our sex life is so broken my wife and I hadn't had sex for at least 25 years. I'am not at all intimate and my wife is. We live together more or less as friends. Now were older who cares weather sex gets fixed or not.

    • breakfastpop profile image


      7 years ago

      Very interesting hub. You don realize that a sexless marriage may be the result of the man's lack of interest that may result from fatigue or low testosterone. One thing I suggest to relight the spark is making it a point to have dinner every single night by candlelight, even with the kids. It sets the tone for communication and relaxation and the results are fantastic. My husband and I have been doing this for years and it is the best thing we could have done for our marriage.


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