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Are You Too Nice For Your Own Good?

Updated on October 11, 2017
Claire-louise profile image

Claire has been dealing with depression since the age of 14 and obtained a degree in psychology in order to help those suffering.

Are you too Nice?


It's nice to be nice, I'm not denying that, and nice people are great, they make the world seem like a better place and they generally brighten everyone's day. But sometimes, you can be too nice, and I am not just talking Hugh Jackman nice, where you're just an all round lovely human being (apparently) but I am talking about being too nice for your own good.

And because not everyone is as nice as you are, they take advantage of your kindness, half the time you don't notice, and even when you do, you're too nice to say anything!

How Can You Tell?

So, how can you tell if you are too nice? Well if 2 or more of the things below apply to you then it could be time to embrace the dark side just a little bit and learn to say no once in a while.

You're Always In The Middle

Whenever there is conflict, whether it's with friends, family or even co-workers, you always seem to be stuck right in the middle of it acting as referee. You didn't ask for the role but because everyone comes to you for advice and you hate conflict, you end up there anyway, whether you like it or not.

You'll Do Anything For A Quiet Life

We all have our moments when we give in for the sake of a bit of peace, but this has become a permanent way of life for you. You always give in because you want things to be calm, even when it means compromising or even losing out on something you might actually want.

You Forgive Constantly

Everyone makes mistakes and sometimes, they need to be forgive, but if someone is constantly making "mistakes" then they're not mistakes, they're decisions. I am not suggesting for one second that you go around on some kind of revenge bender, but if someone acts like an A hole to you all of the time, you are under no obligation to forgive them!

If someone is always apologizing then that means they are never changing, and it could potentially be time to remove them from your life.

You Never Speak Up

Sometimes you have to go along to get along, but you take this to the extreme. When people make plans, even plans you think are terrible, you say nothing, even though you are unhappy about it, you don't speak up. You just go to the restaurant that you hate, you see the film you think looks awful and you have a terrible time. You know that you should say something, but you never do anything you want unless someone else actually suggests it first!

What Can I Do?

These things don't make you a bad person, or even a weak person, they just make you a nice person, that's all. And whilst being a nice person is great, being too nice means that you are missing out on the things you like!

I know it won't be easy at first, but try to be bold, speak up, say no and your life will get a little bit easier.

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    • Claire-louise profile image
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      Claire Raymond 6 months ago from UK

      Pathways thru life, I feel your pain, but I am glad that you have learned some boundaries, that's definitely a good thing.

    • Claire-louise profile image
      Author

      Claire Raymond 6 months ago from UK

      Readmikenow, thanks for the comment, I am like you, and my wife sounds like your wife, it's hard not to get angry because, that's your wife and you don't want people disrespecting her. I genuinely think people like them need people like us to stick up for them and we need them to talk us down a bit from time to time.

    • Claire-louise profile image
      Author

      Claire Raymond 6 months ago from UK

      Thanks Louise, yes, speak up and don't let anyone take advantage of you.

    • GARH608 profile image

      Pathways thru life 6 months ago from Mid West

      However, I have learned to set up more boundaries since the last time I was duped....Have to keep my eyes wide open these days....

    • GARH608 profile image

      Pathways thru life 6 months ago from Mid West

      Yup....I am way too nice....Been taken advantage of waaay too many times that I lost count....Or just get tired of counting how many times I have been duped....It is hurtful when you get to that point....

    • Readmikenow profile image

      Readmikenow 6 months ago

      I can honestly say nobody has every accused me of being too nice. My wife is another story. I've gotten enraged more than once when people have taken advantage of her good nature and desire to help others and be kind. She gives people the benefit of the doubt too many times. It's caused some problems. She did say people have changed toward her when they realize if they are not kind to her, they'll hear from me and I have no problem being not nice to anyone.

    • Coffeequeeen profile image

      Louise Powles 6 months ago from Norfolk, England

      Yes I can relate to a lot of what you've said. I really should take your advice and speak up more. Thanks for the article, it was really interesting.

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