- Gender and Relationships
Are Your Relationship Problems Unsolvable? Use These 7 Tips And Move Towards A Happy Relationship
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Are You Having Relationship Problems Right Now?
One of the main issues people have when it comes to love advice is relationship problems. There seems to be endless questions on relationship forums, as well as endless answers from relationship experts that can quickly get you confused and on the wrong track.
The bottom line is that everyone has an opinion about how to fix your relationship, but the truth is that it’s YOUR relationship and may need to be examined differently than other relationships.
When you understand what YOUR personal relationship issues are and put some effort, patience, and fairness towards them - then you may only be a few steps away from ending your relationship problems for good with the following relationship advice.
7 Tips To Help You End Your Relationship Problem
1. Figure out The Real Issue
Get to the root of the issue. This requires honesty on both of your parts, which may be hard to do if one of you feels attacked or possibly in the wrong.
Honesty will only come when both parties feel non-threatened and in a safe environment. You can do this by listening to each other without responding. For example, only listen to what your partner has to say and understand where they are coming from and what they really are saying. Then switch so that you can talk and they can listen.
Write down the issues that you discuss and see if you can find a root issue to your relationship problems. Don’t let what you find hurt your pride - instead view it as a starting point to really understand what is going on and to have a really good relationship.
If your partner does not want to participate in sharing honestly, then do it alone. Write down exactly what is bothering you about your partner or relationship or even yourself, and be completely honest about it. Then, start to find a solution to the problem.
2. Identify the Cause
Once you figure out the real issue that is causing your relationship problems, identify where it stems from.
It may be something quite obvious like money, communication, family, in-laws, or a bad habit that one of you can’t move past.
It may also not be as obvious. For instance, you may feel that there is not enough romance, physical affection, or connection.
If you find that you can’t really hit the root cause, then you may need to do some further digging into where the issue started. This is exactly why your relationship is different from other relationships and may need a different approach than other relationships to fix it.
Keep searching and being honest with yourself and your partner, and you will find the answers you seek.
3. Decide How Important the Problem Is - In Other Words Pick Your Battles
If you discover that the issue you have with your partner is their lack of understanding a recipe, then you may want to not put that in the category of “Things to obsess and get mad about.” Really, it’s only a small issue that doesn't affect your health and happiness...unless poison is one of their ingredients!
The point is that if it’s something that is small and is irritating you because of your beliefs, habits, or expectations, then you may want to reconsider how much anger you should really put towards it. On the other hand, if it’s something that affects your happiness or health, then it may be something worth putting energy towards and fixing.
In fact, if it hurts you on a deep level then don’t just let it go or else it will be around for a long time to come.
4. Make The Mood Right For Discussing The Relationship Problem
You may want to set the mood for discussing your issues. While this may seem silly, you don’t want to start a conversation when you just finishing having dinner with your stressful in-laws. There are better times to do it.
The perfect mood is one of calmness. Make sure that neither of you are stressed or tired and that you both have the ability to discuss and focus on the issue. This means kids to bed, dogs put away, and phones off. Tell your partner that you would like to talk to them about a relationship issue and figure out a plan for fixing the issue for the health of your relationship.
5. Don’t Try To Be Right
When talking about a relationship problem, you are not trying to prove your point or make your case be understood by your partner. You are just trying to resolve an issue and improve your relationship, so don’t play the ‘I’m right’ card but rather be open-minded.
Relationship problems do not generally get resolved with one partner is overly-aggressive. So, remember that when you feel the need to be right.
6. Accept That You Are Part of The Problem
Don’t play the blame game. Even though your partner may have been the initial cause of the relationship problem, your feelings, actions, and way of handling the situation may have contributed to the issue in a big way! You have to take ownership for your part in the relationship problem in order to really get down to solving it. This is hard to do, but so worth it!
7. Don’t Stop There!
Even though the above steps will help you work out many of your relationship problems, you need to keep working on the health and happiness of your relationship. Just because your issue is gone, it doesn’t mean that you can’t keep working on making your relationship better with each passing day.
The happiest relationships are the one’s that are constantly worked on and attended to. If you start to ignore your relationship, then you can expect relationship problems to arise at one point or another.