- Gender and Relationships»
Are financially independent women likely to live happy married life or go through painful divorces?
Financially independent women, a blessing or curse!
The number of women who are intelligent, highly educated and financially independent is increasing across all nations. However, the divorce rate is also showing an increasing trend all over the world. Is there a correlation? If yes, what is the implication? Is it better for family if woman is dependent on man, less educated and financially illiterate? Is it easier for a man to manage relationship if the woman in his life is completely dependent on his will and authority? Is it healthy? Is happy marriage possible if both women and men are financially secure and independent?
We all might have different answers to above questions based on our belief systems. I do believe that there is some correlation between financial independence of women and increasing divorce rates. However, it is not doomed to be that way. A little conscious effort on both parties to adjust can make a big difference to relationship and consequently, a happy marriage.
The problem arises when married partners tend to behave in old patterns where dad was breadwinner and mom was the homemaker. No matter how much alcohol he drank or beat her, she might have accepted it due to dependency and money dynamics of the home. However, when both husband and wife are in good financial position, physical abuse or substance addiction might bring the marriage to an end. I think such kind of divorces are healthy for spouse and children too if the partner is unwilling to take external help to sort his addictions. Thus, sudden increase in divorce rates with women education and independence, might actually indicate the amount of abuse that was hidden and absorbed by women in homes.
Hence, even if there is correlation between women financial independence and divorce rates, it does not mean that women with money is the problem. It can be the abuse itself that needs to be removed from homes. Unhealthy marriages with abuse, domestic violence and addictions are not beneficial to society. Such marriages need help. Such partners and children need help.
Another cause of divorce associated with educated, financially independent women might be ego problems and decision making issues. Traditionally, men have been egoistic and achievement oriented, women being the nurturers and the sacrificial types. However, with money, the family balance shifts. Women want to take their own decisions and move up in life too. I have noticed that certain men and women might have egos or attachment with their positions and success so much, that it can cause a rift in the marriage. It is always good to be humble and flexible, no matter how wealthy a person is. Such divorces that happen because of inflexibility of either spouse are avoidable and not good for children or spouses too. Such marriages need some oiling and tuning in form of good marital counseling or spiritual emphasis. When divorce happens, it is not good for anyone. It is bad for spouses, children, society and the nation as whole.
Financially independent women can be beneficial to men, society and world. It just requires a bit of adjustment and more flexibility from both sides. Women still need love of men as men need love of women. Why education and independence should create a struggle? Happy marriage just needs small, everyday efforts. Small compliments and gestures of love can lead to easy and happy marriage. There need not be any competition in marriage. Marriage is a team effort which requires both wheels to move on. If one wheel is sick and put down, the vehicle or family will have problems. Let us use the education, financial literacy of women in the right direction and reap the fruits. Financial independence of women and men is a blessing, it helps to eradicate the poverty. Let us strive to maintain our marriages, be flexible and bring the divorces to non existence.