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Are financially independent women likely to live happy married life or go through painful divorces?

Updated on March 24, 2013
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Financially independent women, a blessing or curse!

The number of women who are intelligent, highly educated and financially independent is increasing across all nations. However, the divorce rate is also showing an increasing trend all over the world. Is there a correlation? If yes, what is the implication? Is it better for family if woman is dependent on man, less educated and financially illiterate? Is it easier for a man to manage relationship if the woman in his life is completely dependent on his will and authority? Is it healthy? Is happy marriage possible if both women and men are financially secure and independent?

We all might have different answers to above questions based on our belief systems. I do believe that there is some correlation between financial independence of women and increasing divorce rates. However, it is not doomed to be that way. A little conscious effort on both parties to adjust can make a big difference to relationship and consequently, a happy marriage.

The problem arises when married partners tend to behave in old patterns where dad was breadwinner and mom was the homemaker. No matter how much alcohol he drank or beat her, she might have accepted it due to dependency and money dynamics of the home. However, when both husband and wife are in good financial position, physical abuse or substance addiction might bring the marriage to an end. I think such kind of divorces are healthy for spouse and children too if the partner is unwilling to take external help to sort his addictions. Thus, sudden increase in divorce rates with women education and independence, might actually indicate the amount of abuse that was hidden and absorbed by women in homes.

Hence, even if there is correlation between women financial independence and divorce rates, it does not mean that women with money is the problem. It can be the abuse itself that needs to be removed from homes. Unhealthy marriages with abuse, domestic violence and addictions are not beneficial to society. Such marriages need help. Such partners and children need help.

Another cause of divorce associated with educated, financially independent women might be ego problems and decision making issues. Traditionally, men have been egoistic and achievement oriented, women being the nurturers and the sacrificial types. However, with money, the family balance shifts. Women want to take their own decisions and move up in life too. I have noticed that certain men and women might have egos or attachment with their positions and success so much, that it can cause a rift in the marriage. It is always good to be humble and flexible, no matter how wealthy a person is. Such divorces that happen because of inflexibility of either spouse are avoidable and not good for children or spouses too. Such marriages need some oiling and tuning in form of good marital counseling or spiritual emphasis. When divorce happens, it is not good for anyone. It is bad for spouses, children, society and the nation as whole.

Financially independent women can be beneficial to men, society and world. It just requires a bit of adjustment and more flexibility from both sides. Women still need love of men as men need love of women. Why education and independence should create a struggle? Happy marriage just needs small, everyday efforts. Small compliments and gestures of love can lead to easy and happy marriage. There need not be any competition in marriage. Marriage is a team effort which requires both wheels to move on. If one wheel is sick and put down, the vehicle or family will have problems. Let us use the education, financial literacy of women in the right direction and reap the fruits. Financial independence of women and men is a blessing, it helps to eradicate the poverty. Let us strive to maintain our marriages, be flexible and bring the divorces to non existence.


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    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Very interesting question and study! Well done!

    • Lovelovemeloveme profile image

      Lovelovemeloveme 4 years ago from Cindee's Land

      interesting.

      i think just successful people in general will have a higher possibility of divorce. Mainly because people who are successful are considered "a catch" which makes them much more in demand. And so their options are more wide and available. And if someone is such, the mindset, over time, will also change in correspondence to this success. They will view relationship more objectively and be able to dispose the relationship more easily since their resources are bigger and more available; they can get a new partner and shed off the old quickly.

    • Ruchi Urvashi profile image
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      Ruchi Urvashi 4 years ago from Singapore

      Thanks Billybuc for your positive feedback. Yes, I think this topic of financial independent women requires attention and see how we can solve new social problems like increasing divorce rates.

    • Ruchi Urvashi profile image
      Author

      Ruchi Urvashi 4 years ago from Singapore

      Hi Lo,

      Thanks for your insight. I need to add to your feedback. Yes, success without strong values might create higher chances of divorces. Success tests your character more than anything. Financially independent women or men might look for easy way out as such they can easily find an alternative. However, latest research shows that divorcees tend to encounter the same issues in the next marriage too. We tend to carry our problems with us. So, wisdom and flexibility is key to happy marriage.

    • profile image

      masmasika 4 years ago

      Good hub. Financially independent women do not bow to the wishes of their husbands and they are usually strong so they have great trust in themselves and do not care if they divorce their husband if something goes wrong. Unlike in the olden days when men are considered the king while the wife just bows her head and seldom argues, so the marriage is smooth sailing. Today when women are financially independent they are free to speak their minds and they are free to do what they want which makes relationships falter and clouded.

      I think that the ego is the reason why divorces among financially independent women are becoming more in number. When a woman is financially independent she does not worry about how to live when she is divorced so she does not bow to the wishes of her husband. She thinks, "We are equals" and leaves her husband if things do not work.

    • Ruchi Urvashi profile image
      Author

      Ruchi Urvashi 4 years ago from Singapore

      Hi Masmasika,

      Thanks for your viewpoint. Yes, with financial independence, women tend to speak their minds and most likely to take their own decisions on critical issues affecting their lives. Humility and flexibility are the key values that both partners can focus to resolve the struggles in marriage. Tree with fruits bends its branches down. Similarly, men and women with money can learn how to be humble instead of being egoistic. When we learn to give and share, the other party reciprocates too. It is important that men and women respect each other. With mutual respect, humility and good amount of flexibility, divorces can go down. We need to use financial independence of women in right direction, that is to help the family, society and nations.

    • profile image

      masmasika 4 years ago

      Yes, I agree with you I wish the traditional way of life is still practiced. I feel sad looking around and seeing so many broken families because of pride. I guess when we want to have a stable family we should stoop down a little and see the lighter side of the family situation so that our family will not suffer specially the kids who are often times the suffering party. I love the discussion.

    • Ruchi Urvashi profile image
      Author

      Ruchi Urvashi 4 years ago from Singapore

      Hi Masmasika

      Thanks once again for your interest and valuable feedback. Yes, it is good to be humble and then all the problems can be resolved. Today, the number of broken families are increasing and it is a sad trend. Women and men need to focus on good value system instead of taking false pride in their earning powers. Money and earning money are good things. We just need to use it in right manner.

    • profile image

      masmasika 4 years ago

      Hi Ruchi.

      You are right, money is good but too much of it is sometimes dangerous. What happens often when partners are competing is that the good values are set aside. If couples develop respect with each other and learn to be humble, things would just be fine. They say that a person cannot have both a successful career and a successful relationship so balance between the two and you can have both. Not too much of one and lacking the other, but balanced.

    • profile image

      Neethu 4 years ago

      Good article.

      6. When millions of families are suffering from financial problem and struggling to overcome it, its rubbish to get divorced just because of ego clash. Financially settled families are assets to the nation. Adjustment is needed to maintain any relationship. If both the husband and wife are ready to bend a little nothing will happen, moreover they can lead a happy life. But the bending and adjustment should not be only from the weaker. Marriage is a divine relationship and we must have to realize its value. Its natural that a financially independent woman cannot stick on to a relation tolerating many things. As mentioned, the old pattern has changed. Now a days both are equally responsible to maintain their family. So wife requires more consideration than before. It doesn’t mean that she should be the decision maker in the family. If husband and wife can think in terms of ‘we’ rather that ‘I’, they can live a successful life.

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 4 years ago from Dubai

      Interesting and very helpful. Adjustment is the key to happily married ever after. Voted up and shared.

    • Ruchi Urvashi profile image
      Author

      Ruchi Urvashi 4 years ago from Singapore

      Thanks Vellur for your input. I agree adjustment and adaptability are important in marriage. Assertiveness is also required certain times when we might be uncomfortable with certain things or situations.

    • Ruchi Urvashi profile image
      Author

      Ruchi Urvashi 4 years ago from Singapore

      Thanks neethu, I agree that married couples need to think in terms of we rather than I.

    • Ruchi Urvashi profile image
      Author

      Ruchi Urvashi 4 years ago from Singapore

      thanks Masmasika for your valuable insights.

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