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Are women supposed to submit to their husbands?

Updated on June 25, 2013

Is submission good? Are women supposed to submit to their husbands? What about financially independent women? What about housewives? These questions always intrigued me and as I got married, I needed the answer even more. I wanted a happy married life and full freedom.

In my childhood, I saw my own family and relatives family. Women were submitting to husband in most cases. However, both the men and women were still unhappy. I read dozens on literature on relationships and searched for the right answer in religion. Christianity believes that women need to submit to husband. So, I supposed that was the way it needs to be but still I felt something amiss. My intuition said that there is a better way of living where both are happy and free. Finally, I got the answer by Spiritual Teacher, Abraham Hicks.

Man and woman, both are supposed to follow their own internal guidance system. Just like a navigation system, each of us have our emotional guidance system. When we follow this internal system, we move towards our bliss and joy. However, most of us are trained to follow our parents, spouse and so on. When we continually ignore our internal guidance system and follow somebody who is in contradiction to our own guidance, we might end up in despair and depression. So, it goes well with women who learn to listen to their own intuition and guidance system instead of husbands or anybody else.

Then, the second question that came to my mind was: How can there be harmony and peace in marriage relationship if both husband and wife listen to their own guidance? Who takes the final decision?

It does not matter who takes the final decision. It is significant that each of them visualize their own dream in positive state. This magnificent answer came easily from the spiritual teacher, Abraham Hicks too. We are vibrations more than our words or actions. If we have a desire for something, we just keep it in our thoughts and give attention to it. As we keep ourselves focused on our desires and vibrate with positivity and joy, universe will align everything in this world to give what we want. We don't need to compromise. Universe has a way of giving to us all our desires and dreams when we are tuned to it. We just need to vibrate with our desires. Nobody needs to control anybody or dominate anybody. There is so much freedom and equality in this answer. I felt free for first time.

For instance, if the husband wants to live in location A. Wife wants to live in location B. What is the best choice for couple? Should the wife submit to husband and follow him? Will she be happy? My initial answer, based on religious teaching and parental upbringing would be that wife compromise and moves to location A. Now, after listening to Abraham Hicks teachings, the answer is a bit different.

If the wife is given a free choice to live in A or B, it is best she listens to her guidance system and chooses to live in B. However, if she is forced to compromise and move to location A, she still has freedom in her own mind. She can continue to visualize and think about location B in her mind. As she continually stays in positive vibration by tuning to Higher Power and visualize her dream, Universe has a special way of aligning up all things in the world in favor of her. Personally, I have experienced this myself and I know it works. I stayed in positive energy mode most of the times and visualized my dream place and yes, the universe gave it to me!!! So, you don't need to fight for power. Just release all your resistance and let your dreams be known to the universe.

According to Abraham, the problem with compromise is that it waters down our vibration. Women who tend to compromise most, over a period of time become resentful. They sacrifice and become disconnected with their own guidance. The more disconnected they are, the more awful they feel.

Hence, women need to listen to their own guidance system instead of husbands or other family members. According to Abraham Hicks, the law of attraction works every time. It is just like law of gravity. It does not work on some days, it works always. The only thing is that we might not be aware of our own manifestation.

Initially, I used to sympathize with housewives who had to submit to their husbands. However, now I believe that they are empowered just like any other being on earth. Through the power of their mind, they can maintain positive vibrations for their dreams. Once they maintain positive vibrations for their true dreams, the universe will work on their behalf to align all events in a supernatural way. I read Cinderella story many times during childhood but hardly believed it in any practical way. Now, I feel that Cinderella too summoned the power of Universe to work on her favor. So, even if the circumstances are dire, you can change it using the power of your mind.

In summary, it is best for the women to listen to their own guidance to take decisions instead of submitting to husbands. In case of common decision making, who takes the decision, does not matter. Each of us, need to visualize our own dreams and Universe will align things in a way that it meet all our needs. We are all eternal beings and come with our own purpose. We need to follow our calling. Harmony and freedom are possible in marriage if we desire it to be so.

Abraham Hicks - Expectations in relationship

Abraham Hicks Video about husband wife

For more information on Abraham, Esther & Jerry Hicks please go to their website:


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    • Ruchi Urvashi profile image

      Ruchi Urvashi 4 years ago from Singapore

      Hi Denise and Curiad, I can understand your viewpoint and agree that majority of people still hold this viewpoint. I also used to believe in that.

      According to Abraham Hicks, when we make other person happy at the cost of our own happiness, we water down our vibrations. That means, externally we might look happy and things look good, but slowly and steadily our thoughts and vibrations will start to fall towards negativity and resentment. Then, marriage looks like a work to do instead of initial enjoyment and fun. Slowly, it affects the man too. As when women is vibrating with low energy, it is going to affect the environment and people.

      According to Abraham Hicks, the best solution is to be selfish and look for our own happiness. When we are happy, by the law of attraction, the circumstances turn in our favor and both man, woman are benefited.

    • Curiad profile image

      Mark G Weller 4 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

      I have to agree with Denise on this.


    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 4 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      This is an interesting concept that could be easily misunderstood. Saying that a wife should not submit to following her husband, but rather her own conscience, is like saying that we might as well not be married! I submit that there is more to it than that. In marriage, we work toward common goals while still maintaining our individuality. We listen and learn together, working out our lives together. This is the submission that is desirable. It means that we have a great deal of love and respect for one another to the point that we want to do what makes each other happy.