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Are you a true or an instant friend?

Updated on March 14, 2016

Female relationships are much more complicated than male relationships, and there are about 10 types of them.

Most women have a number of different types of friendships. Some friendships include combination of one or more different types. What often happens is that one type of friendship grows or descends to another type. Also, female friendships from early youth sometimes tend to disappear in adulthood, but women still know how relationships are important in the elderly age.

The true and deep, right, special friendship, of course, is a rare thing. This kind of necessity is replaced by costume jewelry, or cute little wooden beads.

Female relationships are much more complicated than the male ones, as stated, whether it is about a great friendship or an ambivalent relationship, which means, loaded with both positive and negative emotions. This makes female friendships so special because they are often complex and multi-layered. As said, most women participate in various types of friendship, whereas some types may be a combination of more different types.

Friendships are much like a living organism: it grows, develops or veins and weakens and even deteriorates.

The most common types of female relationships:

1. An old friend:

friendship dates back to school days, the birthplace or the first working place. The truth is, friendships are formed during early puberty, even earlier than that. They are born in the formative years when we have not yet fully grown and formed ourselves as a person with all the characteristic attitudes, views and interests that we carry through life. The old friends hold a value and a special place in our hearts, although we may have later changed and become distanced by some customs and habits. Old friends hold a special place in our hearts even when we do not see them for a long time, and even when we do not know each other anymore. Everyone remembers the first secret that had been shared with the first of our friends.

2. A long term acquaintance:

we distinguish acquaintances than friends by the amount of information, by closeness and, most important, the confidence and trust. The difference is perhaps also in the length of the relationship and what happens is that a long acquaintanceship begins to look like a friendship. However, an acquaintance you know for a long time from neighborhood, from school or from work does not have to necessarily become your friend. Although you have known each other for years, you have never really made it to a deeper sort of relationship. Gathering mutual friends during the years, your talks mostly focus on talking about them or gossiping. Although you often do not feel like "wasting" your time to nurture such relationships, you do it in a way considering it as a duty. However, such a friend is not someone in whom you will confide your fears and problems. Women, especially in Dalmatia, talk with other women on the street, in front of the house, with bags in their hands. This practice is now a little less common for women as well as men, because it is replaced by "going out to grab a coffee" and in that way socializing. But merely hanging outside can be an indication that this is only the acquaintance thing and not about the friendship.

3. A house friend:

some friends we have somehow inherited from our parents, so to speak. Our mothers, or other family members, socialize and have these family gatherings that are transferred to us. Domestic friend, a person who was sitting in our kitchen or living room, regardless of whether the person came to visit us or another member of the family, acquires, especially with age, a special status.

4. A temporary friend:

you have come across each other in a situation where you are at the same time found equal, whether you are in a similar time unemployed, divorced, ill etc. In these stressful moments, people often yearn for connection and a talk with someone who understands their problems. The positive side of such friendships is that they actually reduce feeling of loneliness. However, such cases rarely turn into lasting friendships as soon as the situation changes, so does the relationship and you certainly may know this from personal experience. Remember how you once openly discussed the hitherto completely unknown woman who is lying with you in a hospital room, waiting in the waiting room, or was the opposing candidate for the job?

5. The best or even the only real friend:

this is the type of relationship that is most difficult to create, but if you make it, keep your treasure, your real pearl and know that is durable and that it is not only dangerous but, luckily, difficult to destroy. A real friend for a woman is just as close, almost closer than a sister, because that person is someone we choose. True friend serves as a therapist, support, and even life partner. Many believe it is friendly relations that matter most. Even more important than family ties. She's a friend, a someone you can always count on, with whom you do not get to go to court because every problem is solved with a lot of confidence and patience. Because of specialness of such a friendly relation, it is almost impossible to have many true friends, and for wanting of such relationships, we are forced to socialize with others whom we might become friends with or even make it to real friends with a decent amount of effort.

On Friendship by Alexander Nehamas

6. An instant - friend:

this is someone with whom you have "clicked", just like that, without much delay talked openly and in doing so brought out those intimate things. As in a love affair, you quickly recognize friendly "chemistry" between you and the stranger, eventually becoming friends. Although you value that friendship for the situations that had you two connect, if you do not see or hear from each other for a while, a feeling of closeness disappears. Friendship is an area of life in which time is of great importance, duration and length of the "preparation " and also here, as in many other things, the events that are speedy sometimes weaken their flavor.

7. A rival:

at first notice you did not find the person nice or appealing, and even after many years of knowing each other you cannot say that the person is particularly dear to you. Among you there is a tacit competition and always, with much pleasure, to such a "friend" you make sure that you emphasize that you met a great man, impressed employer at the job interview or lost some weight. This type of relationship is good if it is superficial, because it forces us to become better and more ambitious. If you are in more of a frequent contact, it can become a source of frustration. The one you are fighting can help you if you do not go overboard and become obsessed with that transcending thing and lose your criteria so to govern by their criteria that you want to beat.

8. An enemy:

unfortunately, you may have had someone in your life you could not avoid, whether the two of you went to school, to college or have worked together. In certain moments you have worked hard to establish a civilized relationship because the situation demanded so, but the truth is, as far as you are concerned, the person is deeply disliked. Sarcastic statements, pranks and another negative comments are an integral part of your relationship that you react so negatively about that you can totally step out of line. The best you can do, if you cannot physically get away, is to ignore this enemy. Giving too much importance to a negative relationship exhausts your energy and takes away your power for cherishing the relations that you have chosen and decided to cultivate.

9. Friendship as an obligation:

a type of friend that may be described as a mother of a son in law for us is a special friend, we got her "bundled " along with the brother in law. They are not blood relatives of yours, but a broaden family. This means that the two of you have become, in a way, your own. Such a relationship is important to cultivate, because if we cannot have normal and harmonious relations, it can happen that we lose that time we could have spent with our grandchildren. This sometimes results in losing good relations with the son in law, and even with the daughter, and vice versa. Furthermore, a friend that we got through business or other social contacts. Many women associate with wives of husband's business friends. Many women associate with mothers of friends of their children. They are not elected relationships and friendships is crowned by freedom and choice. Yet even in these mandatory friendships it can occur a good sort of a relationship that helps us in life.

10. A combined type of friendship:

you started off as enemies, but eventually you realized that this was stupid and you began to hang out properly. Who knows what will it bring? You might at least become good acquaintances? You started something in a hurry, did not have the time, the circumstances are not favorable to both of you... but now you are physically closer or sharing responsibilities, for example, are both pregnant, both with small children, your kids go to school together, etc. You start to transform the instant friendship into something more serious. You started off as a mandatory friends and you may have become good acquaintances?

“Girls get competitive, as though there’s only one spot in the world for everything — but that’s not true. We need to stick together and see there’s more to life than pleasing men. It’s important not to cut yourself off from female friendships. I think sometimes girls get scared of other girls, but you need each other.”

— Zooey Deschanel

Your Beautiful Heart: 31 Reflections on Love, Faith, Friendship, and Becoming a Girl Who Shines

As a woman, how would you describe your relationships with other female friends?

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