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Are you nervous about your first date? Here's how to make it go as well as possible.

Updated on December 4, 2008

Just jumping into the dating game? Here's how to ensure that your first date is not also your last.

You've taken the first step and set up a time and place for your first date. You're really into this person, and you would love it if they asked to see you again once the evening is over. It's been a while since you were last on a date, and you're feeling a bit nervous, not wanting to chase this person away. How do you go about calming your nerves just enough to make yourself look as confident and as appealing as possible?

Chances are, you're probably sweating over all of the tiny details, from what you're wearing, to how your breath smells, to what you might talk about as you mull over the dinner menu with your date. My first piece of advice: RELAX. You shouldn't be preparing yourself for a marriage proposal. The first date should always be fun, open, and casual.

As far as meeting places are concerned, I suggest that you pick a location where you can either engage in an upbeat, fun activity, or a place where you can sit down and talk (or both, if you wish). Whenever I've gone on a first date, I have always met the person (that's right, met them somewhere-- they never pick me up or vise-versa) at a batting cage, book store, video arcade, coffee house, or a sit-down restaurant. In other words, a public place (both for safety's sake, as well as maintaining a relaxed atmosphere).

Few things are worse than a long, awkward silence in the middle of a date. Being a good conversationalist is a great skill to have in all aspects of life. But please make sure that you're not spending all of your time talking about yourself. The first date is intended as a get-to-know-you night, so the conversation should be as balanced as possible.

Asking general questions about family, jobs, hobbies/interests, music, movies, etc. is perfectly acceptable. But avoid heavy topics, such as dwelling on how your cat died last night, your overbearing mother, or how much you hate your boss. Also, try to avoid debates over politics, religion, abortion, etc (these should be reserved for the second or third date, when you're more familiar with each other). Keep the mood light-hearted and upbeat, and show that you are interested in what your date has to say.

If you do encounter an awkward silence, don't panic; here's a trick to keep the conversation going: take something you've already learned about your date and ask more questions about it (such as their job, hobbies, or where they are originally from).

Quick tip: avoid talking about your exes, and do not compare them to your date. This will usually leave them feeling very uncomfortable and out-of-place.

When the night comes to an end, you and your date are standing outside of the restaurant, about to go your separate ways. The date went very well, and you are hoping to see the person again. It's 11:30 PM, and he or she asks you if you would like to go back to their place for drinks. What do you do?

Since this is the first time you've been out with this person, my recommendation would be that you say one of the following:

Choice 1: "Thank you for the offer, but I really should get going. But would you like to get together for dinner again this week?"

Choice 2: "That sounds like fun, but can I take a raincheck/ could we postpone and go out again next week?"

If the date did not go well and you just want to call it a night, there's no need to give a long explanation as to why you don't want to go out again. Instead, I would recommend one of the following lines to help you make a quick exit:

Choice 1: "That's so nice of you to offer, but I don't really feel that kind of chemistry with you. We can get together again as friends if you'd like, though."

Choice 2 (if you really had a terrible night): "Honestly, I'm not really very interested. I think I'm just going to head home for the night, but thank you anyway."

Should the invitation present itself, I know that many of you will be very tempted to go back to your date's apartment/ house for some additional fun. However, I would not recommend doing this because-- once again-- this is only the first date. You have only just met this person, and you should be concentrating on establishing the image that you want them to hold of you.

To avoid any complications and to keep yourself safe, just go home. If the night went well, go ahead and call the person within the next day or two and plan a second date. But don't make it too easy for them to access your intimate side. Refusing an invitation back to their apartment will likely establish a sense of mutual respect, which will give you a few extra points. Just be sure to make it known that you would like to see this person again before you leave.


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    • profile image

      Denver 2 years ago

      My name is Denver Yates I'm nervous

      I never been on a date before with a girl

      . Love Denver Yates.

    • profile image

      Trevor 4 years ago

      Definitely not true that you earn extra points for not being intimate on the first date. According to surveys, most guys do not think any less of a girl for having sex on the first date. It may be different for those who are more religious than average. That said, there are other reasons for not having sex on a first date (e.g. not getting hurt if it doesn't work out), it's just that the guy not respecting you is not one of them.

    • profile image

      Kayla 5 years ago

      So I'm meeting this guy for the first time. It's a blind date, I've been texting him for two days. He is suppose to call me tonight in hopes that tomorrow isn't awkward (first date) but he said he's shy, that scares me because so am I!!

    • profile image

      Hannah 5 years ago

      I'm going on a blind date tomorrow... I'm super nervous.. D: Reading the comments makes me feel not as alone in this!

    • profile image

      Nathan 5 years ago

      My first date was going to be on Saturday but i had to cancel it for personal reasons.... But i was Soooooo nervous that i was planning to dump her just so i didn't have to go through with it. Can someone please help keep important 13 and i love her with all my heart

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      maurice 5 years ago

      really like a girl but for various reasons we're unable to meet up for a few weeks, i'm nervous now god only knows how i'll be in 3 weeks time.

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      Sara G. 5 years ago

      Same I just hope I don't embarrass myself!! I kinda sweat a lot so... XD

    • profile image

      Ariaana 5 years ago

      I feeeel so nervouus ! I feel like calling him and saying sorry im sick ... I just hope its not awkward :l Please god

    • profile image

      Natasha 5 years ago


      I feel like i might have a heart attack too

      almost feel like backing out.. hmm

    • profile image

      Beth 5 years ago

      Seriously, I am nervous. I am 70% sure I'm having a heart attack.

    • profile image

      Anissa 6 years ago

      Immm super nerves!!, omg my first dates in friday, we like eachother so much but were both nerves and scared! I love him

    • profile image

      vidit jain 6 years ago

      Had the first date

      followed whatever was up dere

      it went awesome

      n what's more guys...

      first date brought the first kiss

    • profile image

      Hema 7 years ago

      ahhh!! this is my first so freaking NERVOUS!!! hope it goes well!!! :P:)

    • profile image

      Dylan 7 years ago

      First date tomorrow,not too nervous now....gook luck happy dating people! :P

    • profile image

      David 7 years ago

      Go in with no expectations and if it happens then it happens. If not then at least you've got yourself and that's one person you'll never loose. Good luck everyone !!!

    • profile image

      Alejandra 7 years ago

      I have the date tomorrow, Im 14 and hes 14 too, he asked me to go to the movies to watch vampires suck and we really like eachother! but IM SO NERVOUS!!!!!!!!!!

    • profile image

      Johnny 7 years ago

      Been on two dates with the same person; the very first date I was so nervous and anxious, but she happened to have great conversation skills! And I was damn shy, I mean. I was in a serious relationship for 8 years and we were about to get married, I couldn't remember when was the last time I had a date on my schedule. you know ?

      The more the better , as for me, on the second date I was feeling much more confident and felt like I was at the right place, I had good reflexes, being nervous is a part of it, you cannot be totally relaxed when meeting someone new :P Just keep in mind that you're doing this for yourself first, because YOU wish to meet somebody new. Be proud of who you are, whoever you are, whatever the job you got, the pay you get, the friends you have, the haircut you got, when someone is happy within him/herself, that's true attraction power. Mature, manliness. yep.

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      richie 7 years ago

      me 2 folks on a 1st date tomorrow known the girl for 4 years but just got together , great reading

      how did all your 1st dates go

    • profile image

      Nathan  7 years ago

      First date soon. Super nervous........ I mean I'm reading websites about first dates.

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      damn 8 years ago

      we really like each other; but this is the first official date. im sooo worried!

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      asdasda 8 years ago

      nervoussssssssss. hope this goes well. ++++