- Gender and Relationships
Are Date Nights Out Important?
A close friend of mine was venting that her boyfriend never plans dates out on the town anymore. The few times that they have gone out he will ask her where she wants to go—making no effort to plan a date—can you say unromantic? When I asked her how they spend their time when they do see each other, she told me that she is either cooking him dinner or they are watching movies at his place. With a sigh, she added the spark she felt for him is starting to diminish. Do you blame her?
Whether you are dating, in a relationship, or married having planned date nights out of the house are important, in fact, they should be required. Having a date night—again OUT of the house— gives you both something to look forward to and is a great way of keeping the relationship from fizzling out.
Men, the point of planning a date night is that it makes a woman feel special and keeps a relationship spicy. It's fun to get dolled up and go out—and I'm not talking about going clubbing, although for some couples that may be their date night of choice. When a guy takes the time to plan a nice evening, you both get dressed up—the experience keeps the mojo—spark, va-va-voom—in the relationship alive. If you use being too busy or financially strapped as an excuse to not go out, you will eventually cause your relationship to fizzle. Date nights don't have to be expensive (that's what Groupon is for), they just need to be thought out and planned—and fellas, a walk around the park is not an official date night out.
One of the things I have been very guilty of is getting bored in relationships. If I am dating a guy who is too lazy to plan date nights out, the relationship starts to feel hum-drum—aka BORING—and disintegrates. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that couples need to go out every night—I also love staying in and snuggling with my man—however, in order to keep the relationship healthy, happy, romantic and fun, there needs to be a date night planned once a week or at least every other week.
Often we forget that all relationships are give and take. Ladies, I thinks it's important to cook for your man and if you don't know how to cook I suggest learning. You can't expect a man to always take you out if you don't know how to cook. And if you are horrible in the kitchen then I suggest you perfect your blow job skills (keeping it real). If that's also not your thing, then you need to share planning date nights out. No one likes to feel as though a relationship is one-sided.
Yes, I have stated in many articles that when you are dating, a man should do the wooing and plan dates—that is still true—however, I have also stated that you should cook for him or do nice thoughtful things for him so that he also feels special.
Men, I get that planning a date night once a week can seem financially stressful (again, Groupon), but are you complaining when a woman is going out of her way to cook for you and is willing to have sex? You can't and shouldn't put a price on that. Plus, (like I already said) you can plan a date night that works for your budget while still making a woman feel special.
Here's the thing guys, if you have a woman that cooks—unless she is serving you frozen boxed meals or making you a sandwich—she is putting thought, love and money into what she is cooking for you—making dinner for someone is rarely cheap. If a woman is doing that for you, the least you could do is take her out once a week. The perfect compromise (if you see each other at least three times a week): have one date night, a night she cooks for you and one night you keep it simple—cooking together, ordering take out, or taking a walk around a park or neighborhood.
Fellas you don't want to get complacent. Just because your woman likes to cook for you or enjoys downtime doesn't mean she wants to do that all the time. When she cooks for you and you bring something over (or if you live together, home) that doesn't qualify as your date night out. Bringing something—although appreciated and very sweet—is also expected—if your significant other is cooking you a special meal, you should never come empty handed or be late (without calling).
There are many ideas for a date night out. Here are a few:
- Going to the theater
- A nice dinner at a restaurant
- Dinner and a movie or sporting event
- Going to an art show
- Painting with cocktails
- Dinner on a boat
- Dinner and carriage ride around a park
- Attending a fundraiser or event together
- Going somewhere to have appetizers and a drink
- Going to a quaint place that plays music
Again, these are a few ideas, however there are many more depending on your age and what you both enjoy doing together.
The unfortunate thing is that many men work hard—romancing, wooing and doing chivalrous things—to reel a woman in so that she desires to have a relationship with him. Then once he has her, the effort starts to taper off—majorly. But, then he will wonder why as women we stop wanting to have sex as often or see him as much.
It's not rocket science guys, women are emotionally driven and when the consistent effort—that was once put forth stops—so does our desire to be physically invested in you. Most women are not physical in a relationship just to "get off," we are physical because we truly care. When a man plays with our emotions or stops making effort, our desires for him quickly fade.
Ladies, if you are in a relationship with a man who doesn't think that date nights out with you are important then it's time to remind him of how he won you over—before his slacking destroys what you have. Communication is always the key and if you are worth keeping, he will not only do the things he did to get you, he will continue to do those same things to keep you. If not, find a man who will take you out and believes one hundred percent that you are worth it—because you are. Remember, the key to a lasting happy relationship is to never stop dating! So...when and where will your next date night out be?