- Gender and Relationships
Are You Dating Like A Football Coach? -Stephanie Bailey
If you are like me and enjoy playing the dating field until you find a connection that sticks—dating can be similar to a football coach who's recruiting the best player for his team. Ultimately, the football player (boyfriend) who will get the coach (you) to the playoffs (commitment) and bring the coach (you) the Super Bowl Ring (engagement ring).
Depending on how many men you are dating (recruiting) at one time, there will be some fumbles in your dating game—leaving one (or a few men) on the field—these are the guys who are making an effort (touchdowns/field goals)—possibly winning your heart. Some men will eventually get pulled from the game and benched—the effort is lacking (incompletions, fumbles or interceptions have been made) and your interest is fading. And, there will be those who have completely lost your interest (personal foul) and are no longer in the running—permanently sent to the locker room, or worse—demoted to water boy.
If a high percent of his passes are incomplete (not connecting with you emotionally to make you want him), fumbling on his runs (making the effort to see you is lacking) and doesn't make the first down (wooing you/ taking you on dates)—it might be time to let him go.
The beautiful thing about being the coach of your own dating life—you decide who you want to date and when you are free for the date—how often each guy will get to see you. Dating more than one guy gives you options—it can help you figure out what you really want, especially if you don't know already. This process will help you differentiate the guys who are truly interested from the ones who are just playing "the game." The guy who makes the effort to look at his schedule in advance, plans days and times to see you, will essentially be the one to win your heart. (Starting Role)
Just like in football, in order to be the best player is actually similar to what woman look for and (deep down) want in a guy.
According to WikiHow: How to Be a Great Football Player (http://m.wikihow.com/Be-a-Great-Football-Player)
***Next to or in parenthesis of each goal I have added the woman's perspective (interpretation) of what we are looking for when dating like a football coach.
How to Be a Great Football Player: (dater/potential boyfriend)
1. Know that you can achieve your goal: In dating terms—be confident, not cocky.
2. Be in great shape: We're not asking for perfect, however most woman want a man who takes care of himself. Eating healthy and working out helps us visualize a future, in which you will be around and active.
3. Practice the basics of football: Don't be a lazy dater—make an effort—we like to feel special and appreciated.
4. Find a position you like to play: We aren't attracted to men who tell us they are one way—understanding, open-minded, respectful, and later devalue us, get an attitude quickly, or display inappropriate anger. We prefer men whose actions speak louder than words—not the other way around (we don't want to guess if we are dating Prince Charming or Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde)
5. Practice the skills for your position: We love men who are passionate: knowing what your language of love is and using it to make that connection (the right woman will appreciate it).
6. Be aware of your competition: If you know that we are dating other men, don't lack in your efforts (if you possibly can see a future in us), step up your game—competition goes away when the the best man is making the effort.
7. Be tough: We prefer a man who is strong. Strong enough to know when he's wrong. Strong enough to back down and not start a fight—but will fight to keep us in their life. Strong enough to be by our side. Strong enough to not be afraid of love and commitment.
8. Get along with your team members: It's important to us that our friends and family like you.
9. Get ready to win: Again, if you are confident and know that you want to be with us—we will feel it too, and eventually choose you.
10. Understand that anything less than your absolute maximum 100% effort on every play (date) is a recipe for mediocrity, if you want to be great (our boyfriend), you must attack every play (moment with us) with all you physical (chemistry and passion) and mental (your personality) skills operating at their absolute maximum: This is my favorite and says it all!
11. When you're off the field, listen to the coaches or coordinators: If you want a successful relationship than don't get advice from your single forever bachelor friends, talk to your friends who are in great relationships. Talk to a therapist to help open your heart and trust in love again. Read inspiring self-help books. Do what ever works for you to make the relationship last.
Dating like a football coach can be fun—who doesn't like to have choices when you're single? Playing the field can be a great in helping you figure out what you want, and finding the best match for you.
Ladies, if you are in the the dating field, but are open to the possibilities of a relationship—it's important to be honest and let the men know who you are dating, so that they don't feel as if you are just a player or a tease. Take adequate time, but not an unreasonable, selfish amount or time, to figure out who your star player is, before another woman recruits him instead. Learn the dating skills of downsizing, make adjustments and follow your heart, not your loins. If you are lucky you will find a man who will stay in the game and win the Super Bowl of your heart.