ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Gender and Relationships»
  • Marriage

Arranged or love marriage- which is a better option?

Updated on November 8, 2013

If you live in western countries, the concept of arranged marriage would sound weird and strange to you. How to marry a person, whom you do not know would be your question. Fair enough! You marry the person you love and you feel that you are the luckiest person. Then why is it in western countries the ratio of divorce is very high. Where has the love gone? In India arranged marriages are still common and there is family support for the couples when they need it.

Am I professing that arranged marriages are better than love marriages? Not at all. Am I then insisting that love marriages are the quintessential of an ideal marriage? I am not doing that either. In arranged marriages couples take time to understand each other and sometimes this learning and understanding process gives so much of unknown pleasure and happiness. It is love after marriage for the couples whose marriages are arranged.

In love marriage, you enter into a bond of love after understanding each other and you are confirmed that you both cannot exist without one another. Then your marriage must be heavenly, isn’t it? Then how it is that everything turns sour and you cannot stand the sight of each other, after just a few years of marriage. It does not matter if your marriage is arranged or a love marriage. Your marriage does not stand on that footing.

Your marriage survives only when there is love and nothing else can save it. Nowadays marriages are treated very lightly and divorce becomes the easy way out for most couples. Your contention is that it is better to go your separate ways than to live together in a reconciled bondage. You do not think of the repercussions your divorce is going to have on your children. This callous disregard for emotions makes any marriage, it might be arranged or love marriage a hell.

I pity couples who say they cannot co exist together. What has gone wrong? You are the same person, he\she is the same person, but where is love? Why is it that you do not see eye to eye. Accepting and loving your spouse with all his\her drawbacks is what marriage is all about. You cannot have a perfect marriage and it is the same with everyone. Arranged or love marriage, you deal with emotions in marriage and when that emotions get tilted towards incompatibility and inaptness, everything falls apart.

When in love there are no responsibilities and you are carefree and you need not bother about your purse. You are more than willing to spend lavishly on your spouse and you spring surprise gifts on her\him. Everything is rosy and you cannot wait for the day of your wedding. You now live together in the same house and everything is not that OK. You do not like certain habits of your spouse and instead of adjusting to it; you make a crime of it. You forget anniversaries and birthdays and it is construed as your lack of love.

Lots of responsibilities make you tense and you show your tension as anger. Fireworks flash, with each putting the blame on one another. You seem to have nothing new to talk about and everything becomes mundane and routine. You can now see that it does not at all matter whether your marriage is an arranged or a love marriage. All that matters is the way you live your married life. When there are adjustments and tolerance, the spark of your love is always bright, but when you cannot tolerate faults and want your spouse to be what you want her\him to be, resentment and bitterness makes you want to sign your divorce papers.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Karan 4 years ago

      I feel the concept of arranged marriage to be very strange, here are my views on the topic.

    • Ruchi Urvashi profile image

      Ruchi Urvashi 5 years ago from Singapore

      I still think that love marriage is better than arrange marriage as women tend to have more say in love marriage. Nowadays, love marriages are arranged by agreement of both families, so family support is still there.

    • elle64 profile image

      elle64 5 years ago from Scandinavia

      It takes more than love to save a mariage, hard work ,commitment. I think for myself, am happy to have chose my husband out of love.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: ""

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)