Attention Men: All Women Are Not Gold Diggers!
Wanting a Man with a Job is Not Gold Digging
This Hub, like many of my others, has been inspired not only by my life events, but also by my favorite source of guilty pleasures: The Yahoo.com articles and more specifically, the comments sections.
I've read numerous articles about relationships, what women want, and what men want. From the comments I have determined that the common theme in America is that men think all women are golddiggers. Men think that a woman who wants to be with a man who has a job is a golddigger.
Well, if that is the case, then yes, I am a golddigger. So are all of my friends. But men are mis-informed. I am not looking for a man who has a job so that I can stay home and do nothing all day, then one day divorce him and take all his money. I am not looking for a many who makes over $200,000 per year (though I admit that would probably be nice). All I want is a man who has a stable job and can take care of himself. That is all my friends want too. Why is that bad?
When Did Expecting a Man to Take Care of Himself Become a Stigma?
I believe that there is a disease running rampant among men these days. That is the expectation that someone should take care of them. I've already discussed this in regards to housework in my other Hub, "Attention Men: Your Girlfriend is Not Your Mom", but the problem isn't only with housekeeping. Men think that it is ok to live in their parents basement until they meet the woman who will work, cook, clean, raise kids, and be Ms. Perfect.
Well let me tell all the men out there: That does not exist! Women don't want to have to do everything. Woman want a man who will be an equal partner in the relationship, a man who will contribute both financially and to the housework. You do not get a free ride.
I have heard some men say that "she should love me for me" or "I want to know that she doesn't just love me for my money". Well those things are understandable. And there are real golddiggers out there. My cousin is an example. She would go to a bar, and she had three questions that she would ask any potential suitor:
1. How much money do you make.
2. What do you do for a living.
3. What kind of car do you drive.
And there were men out there stupid enough to date her!!
Most women, however are not like this. I for one, want to date a man with a job because I like to go out and do things, travel, go to museums, go on vacations, go out to eat, go to Vegas, go to the theater, experience life. These things take money. I make enough to support myself, but not to support someone else. I shouldn't be expected to support someone else. I need a man who can support himself, and who is motivated and ambitious enough to want these things too.
I don't want your money. But I don't want to live in your mom's basement and never to be able to experience all that life has to offer. In today's economy, both partners must contribute financially in order for these dreams to be realized.
So my advice to men is, step up your game and get a job. Be weary of the real golddigger, but realize that most women just want a man who can take care of himself. Be that man.
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