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Attracting a Man - What Does He Want in a Relationship

Updated on May 13, 2012
what does he want in a relationship
what does he want in a relationship | Source

There comes a time in every woman’s life when she wants to be part of a couple.

She’s tired of being ogled, and tired of the meaningless, endless dates, and sometimes she is just not sure what’s involved in attracting a man for keeps. Things look good to begin with, but then he gets ‘cold feet’ or gets distant, or just stops calling and coming round.

She wonders what she is doing wrong? What does she need to do to attract him and build that relationship?

Perhaps a better question to ask would be -

What does he look for in a woman? What does he want in a relationship?

Bottom line …He is not going to care about what you know until he knows that you care…

What do I mean by that?

Well, what this means is that he wants you to care about him… not in a nosy way but in a genuine interested kind of way.

You can show this by actively listening to him, and when you have a conversation with him, ask him open questions.

Attracting a Man is about being Interested in Him

my hero
my hero | Source

My husband and I are best of friends and we love to be in each others' company, but it was not always good between us. We are both fairly independent people and we love to be heard and listened to, so when we were not doing this for each other, we both felt hurt and unloved by the other. After a time, resentment began to build up and frustration quickly became the norm in our relationship.

I also had a subconscious habit of correcting my husband when he said something that I thought was wrong. Now even if a guy is wrong, he hates being corrected, it wounds their pride as guys and is something that you will want to avoid at all costs.

There are ways to ‘correct’ him that allows him to save face. So… I learnt how to ask my husband questions about his topic of conversation that permitted me to give him the opportunity to correct himself, or for me to supply him with the correct information without me saying in other words, that he was wrong.

When I validated my husband and looked to him for answers, or solutions, I gave him a precious gift. I told him without words that I valued him and that he was my hero.

Every man and every boy, has an alter-ego, a ‘superman’ hiding inside, and the woman who brings that out in him will always have a special place in his heart. Every man wants to be a superhero for his girl; he wants her love, her respect and her admiration.

The woman who learns how to validate her man by giving him that love and respect will earn his love and gratitude.

Attracting a Man is about Respecting Him.

trust and confidence
trust and confidence | Source

He wants someone he can trust, who he can confide in, who won’t ridicule or make fun of him or dismiss him or his ideas. He wants his woman to be his best friend, someone with whom he can feel safe. He wants someone who ‘gets’ him and who will have his back in the hard times as well as sharing the good times with him. He wants someone who is kind and considerate and someone who is not afraid to be real with him, speaking the truth in love. Deep down he may look for someone who is a bit like his Mum, but he will also be looking at how you behave in different situations and how you care for and relate to other people.

If you do not share his love of interests at least be interested in your love. He wants to know that you love him and want to be with him for who he is and not for what he can give you or do for you.

You will want to like him and want to be with him for his personality, not for his position. Attracting a man is about liking him for who he is.

If you are afraid that you can’t be the kind of woman a man will want to be with, do not worry. You are being too hard on yourself. If you can love your family and can be kind to people who, basically, are strangers to you, then you can love someone as important to you as the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with.

You can learn about attracting a man – how to love and keep your man, and build the long-term relationship with him that your heart desires.


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    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 

      5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hey, Johnanna,

      This was a great read. Fantastic in every aspect of the word. Lay-out, text, presentation was excellent. I voted up and all the way for this wonderful story.

      You have a wonderful writing style. I am going to read some of your work and I know that I will be a follower.

      Would you consider doing the same for me?

      I wish you only the best in your writing.



    • Johanna Baker profile imageAUTHOR

      Johanna Mary Elisabeth Baker 

      6 years ago from Christchurch, New Zealand

      Absolutely agree with your comment JanMakluk, the You and We means a Win/Win scenario. I firmly believe that in a couple relationship if one 'loses' they both do! Thanks for your comment...!

    • JanMaklak profile image


      6 years ago from Canada

      Both men and women can benefit from this article. If you can truly get excited about your spouse's interests and the spouse reciprocates I doubt there will ever be any serious problems in the relationship. Even in simple friendship ME, ME,ME will eventually end that friendship. YOU and WE will win.

    • MG Singh profile image

      MG Singh 

      6 years ago from Singapore

      Excellent and well written post

    • uzma shaheen profile image

      Uzma Shaheen Bhatti 

      6 years ago from Lahore,Pakistan

      very valuable hub.every woman must read it in order to flourish her relationship.

    • Angela Brummer profile image

      Angela Brummer 

      7 years ago from Lincoln, Nebraska

      Great ideas men really do need to be made to feel special and women do for that matter also. GREAT ARTICLE!

    • LaThing profile image


      7 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Great advice for the women..... Very true about the superhero within them!

      Interesting, and sharing.....

    • Johanna Baker profile imageAUTHOR

      Johanna Mary Elisabeth Baker 

      7 years ago from Christchurch, New Zealand

      Thanks for your comment and voting up, Beth

    • bethperry profile image

      Beth Perry 

      7 years ago from Tennesee

      Excellent! You nailed it on the head about respecting your man. Voted up.


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