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Attraction: Female behaviors that turn men off

Updated on July 12, 2011
Attraction-killing behaviors get you the thumbs down sooner or later.
Attraction-killing behaviors get you the thumbs down sooner or later. | Source

Hairdos, good make-up, latest fashions – women have a variety of ways to look attractive. While looking good is a significant component of attraction, it cannot sustain it on its own. There is usually something more that we can’t quite put a finger on. This is the realm of attraction behaviours, which can either build or destroy chemistry. An important element of developing and maintaining attraction is avoiding any behaviour that smothers or prevents chemistry. Women can increase their attraction quotient considerably by eliminating such behaviour.

Being too available

Imagine that your every night is free to do whatever another person wants. You think it’s cute and shows commitment. Instead, it’s just an indication that there is not much activity in your life. Unfortunately, bored women are boring. A woman who is too available would hardly make anyone’s top ten.


Many men are visual and base initial attraction largely on outward appearance. However, once they get over the looks, they need something deeper to keep them from going fishing again. Being preoccupied with appearance and material things might work in the short term, but frivolous and shallow is not good enough for your ideal guy.

Clingy, needy or desperate behaviour

This is closely related to being too available, except that it is much worse. Acting as though time is running out and letting everyone know the price of your melons is not a clever strategy. You either get guys who waste the time that’s running out or potential buyers who haggle with you to drop your price. Often, this behaviour is a manifestation of low self-esteem or confidence – attributes which do not increase attraction capabilities.

The Psychology of Physical Attraction
The Psychology of Physical Attraction

The Psychology of Physical Attraction begins by discussing the role of evolution in the development of what it means to be 'attractive' in contemporary society. It provides a general overview of evolutionary psychology and mate choice, as well as an in-depth focus on physical characteristics such as physical symmetry, body weight and ratios, and youthfulness. Finally, the "morality" of physical attractiveness is examined, looking at issues such as discrimination on the basis of looks, body image and eating disorders and cosmetic surgery.


Controlling behaviour

This is another attraction-killer for both sexes. Control freaks might be tolerable, feared or despised – not words you can easily associate with attraction. Attractive women can take the lead through influence and persuasion. However, controlling behaviour is not appealing to many women; it’s no surprise that it’s not appealing to many men either.

Trying to be too ladylike

Some women hear that guys like the bad girls but won’t marry them. There is an element of truth in that notion, but deciding to go to the other extreme – poise and innocence all the time – is not particularly interesting. As if that’s not bad enough, sacrificing humour and acting like the Ice Queen often accompanies this. Being ladylike is not a bad thing, but finding the balance can be a problem. Too little may not get you a long-term commitment. However, if it is overdone, men may perceive you as fragile, humourless and barely human.

The Secret Laws of Attraction: The Effortless Way to Get the Relationship You Want
The Secret Laws of Attraction: The Effortless Way to Get the Relationship You Want

Life coach Miedaner (Coach Yourself to Success) has written a self-help manual counseling readers on how to attract love into their lives or rediscover the love that somehow got lost in your current relationship. Her basic concept: people are motivated by a few basic needs, needs that can bloom into dreaded neediness—toxic for love. Fulfill your unmet emotional needs and live your top core values, Miedaner says, and love will seek you out.



Nurture is a common trait of many women’s nature; save mothering for the children though. Treating a man as a grown child would not only lead to him behaving like one, but he might just start to see you as he saw his mother. Unless your partner has an Oedipus complex, that wouldn’t increase attraction.

Some of these habits can not only hinder attraction, but also prevent a relationship from being healthy and wholesome. Resolving and eliminating unattractive behaviours are not only effective ways for women to improve their attraction quotient; they can help their personal development as well.

Comments are welcome!

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  • adrienne2 profile image

    Adrienne F Manson 6 years ago from Atlanta

    Hi Spiffy, this reasons are all so true to what turn men off. Its sad that some women are so deseparte for a man they put themeselves out there doing the very things they should not do, and wonder why they don't have a significant other in their life.

  • Elisabeth Simson profile image

    Elisabeth Simson 6 years ago from USA

    Nice point of view, really. I like it.

    When you have time, please visit and read more related articles.

  • Internetwriter62 profile image

    Internetwriter62 6 years ago from Marco Island, Florida

    Fabulous writing SpiffyD, I really learned a lot about men in this hub and I appreciate the information, very true also. Very well written and very easy to understand. Definitely rated it up.

  • Sunshine625 profile image

    Linda Bilyeu 6 years ago from Orlando, FL

    Informative hub from a man's point of view. Very good pointers. Voted UP!

  • SpiffyD profile image

    SpiffyD 6 years ago from The Caribbean

    Ethel and dramatis, thanks for the read and the comments.

  • dramatis personae profile image

    Kera 6 years ago from USA

    This is one cool hub.............I love reading these things from a man's point of view..........well written

  • ethel smith profile image

    Eileen Kersey 6 years ago from Kingston-Upon-Hull

    So that is from a man's perspective. Interesting read

  • SpiffyD profile image

    SpiffyD 6 years ago from The Caribbean

    Thanks folks. I appreciate the feedback.

  • profile image

    ctbrown7 6 years ago

    Well-written post. There is some good insight here.

  • susannah42 profile image

    susannah42 6 years ago from Florida

    Good advice.

  • SpiffyD profile image

    SpiffyD 6 years ago from The Caribbean

    That's an interesting point Venus. Sometimes something that is good can easily turn sour. Clingy behavior can seem cute initially and then get old as the relationship gets older. However, I believe that some level of possessive behavior would be deemed attractive by a large percentage of persons. I asked one woman if she'd be ok with a guy who never got even a little jealous about anything. The answer was no. She said it'd seem like indifference. With regard to this behaviour, it might be a question of dosage.

  • Aphrodite Venus profile image

    Aphrodite Venus 6 years ago from Orlando

    This is really good advice, however, I'm a very good observer and I notice a lot of clingy and smothering behavior among women. Explain to me then how these women who expect to be with their man 24/7 are in relationships. I'm from Miami and almost every woman regardless of age will give you a face if their man even happens to glance at another attractive female. So jealousy, insecurity and clinginess is on the rise even among really pretty girls, which is weird if you ask me.

  • SpiffyD profile image

    SpiffyD 6 years ago from The Caribbean

    Thanks you Camesha. Welcome to HubPages as well. I hope that you become a prolific contributor and look forward to reading your hubs in future.

  • CameshaC profile image

    CameshaC 6 years ago

    Very insightful, I also found your layout appealing as well.

  • SpiffyD profile image

    SpiffyD 6 years ago from The Caribbean

    Thank you Sun. That's what I was hoping for - interesting and informative.

  • profile image

    SparrowMinistries 6 years ago


  • SpiffyD profile image

    SpiffyD 6 years ago from The Caribbean

    Hi Sparrow. Thanks for your feedback and I'm happy that you liked the hub. As far as the ads between the text, I used two Amazon capsules and three text capsules. All I did was sandwich the Amazon capsules between the text capsules. Again, thanks for your comment and hub feedback!

  • profile image

    SparrowMinistries 6 years ago


    I liked your article. How did you get the books from Amazon listed between paragraphs? I that that was awesome!