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Attraction: Female behaviors that turn men off
Hairdos, good make-up, latest fashions – women have a variety of ways to look attractive. While looking good is a significant component of attraction, it cannot sustain it on its own. There is usually something more that we can’t quite put a finger on. This is the realm of attraction behaviours, which can either build or destroy chemistry. An important element of developing and maintaining attraction is avoiding any behaviour that smothers or prevents chemistry. Women can increase their attraction quotient considerably by eliminating such behaviour.
Being too available
Imagine that your every night is free to do whatever another person wants. You think it’s cute and shows commitment. Instead, it’s just an indication that there is not much activity in your life. Unfortunately, bored women are boring. A woman who is too available would hardly make anyone’s top ten.
Many men are visual and base initial attraction largely on outward appearance. However, once they get over the looks, they need something deeper to keep them from going fishing again. Being preoccupied with appearance and material things might work in the short term, but frivolous and shallow is not good enough for your ideal guy.
Clingy, needy or desperate behaviour
This is closely related to being too available, except that it is much worse. Acting as though time is running out and letting everyone know the price of your melons is not a clever strategy. You either get guys who waste the time that’s running out or potential buyers who haggle with you to drop your price. Often, this behaviour is a manifestation of low self-esteem or confidence – attributes which do not increase attraction capabilities.
The Psychology of Physical Attraction begins by discussing the role of evolution in the development of what it means to be 'attractive' in contemporary society. It provides a general overview of evolutionary psychology and mate choice, as well as an in-depth focus on physical characteristics such as physical symmetry, body weight and ratios, and youthfulness. Finally, the "morality" of physical attractiveness is examined, looking at issues such as discrimination on the basis of looks, body image and eating disorders and cosmetic surgery.
This is another attraction-killer for both sexes. Control freaks might be tolerable, feared or despised – not words you can easily associate with attraction. Attractive women can take the lead through influence and persuasion. However, controlling behaviour is not appealing to many women; it’s no surprise that it’s not appealing to many men either.
Trying to be too ladylike
Some women hear that guys like the bad girls but won’t marry them. There is an element of truth in that notion, but deciding to go to the other extreme – poise and innocence all the time – is not particularly interesting. As if that’s not bad enough, sacrificing humour and acting like the Ice Queen often accompanies this. Being ladylike is not a bad thing, but finding the balance can be a problem. Too little may not get you a long-term commitment. However, if it is overdone, men may perceive you as fragile, humourless and barely human.
Life coach Miedaner (Coach Yourself to Success) has written a self-help manual counseling readers on how to attract love into their lives or rediscover the love that somehow got lost in your current relationship. Her basic concept: people are motivated by a few basic needs, needs that can bloom into dreaded neediness—toxic for love. Fulfill your unmet emotional needs and live your top core values, Miedaner says, and love will seek you out.
Nurture is a common trait of many women’s nature; save mothering for the children though. Treating a man as a grown child would not only lead to him behaving like one, but he might just start to see you as he saw his mother. Unless your partner has an Oedipus complex, that wouldn’t increase attraction.
Some of these habits can not only hinder attraction, but also prevent a relationship from being healthy and wholesome. Resolving and eliminating unattractive behaviours are not only effective ways for women to improve their attraction quotient; they can help their personal development as well.
Read what turns women off now!
- Attraction-killing behaviors: What men do that turns women off
Wondering why you're no good with women? You just might be killing attraction and interest with these behaviors.