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Awkward Guys: Ways for You Not to Approach, Talk to, or Meet Hot Girls

Updated on May 19, 2014

This is you

And you cannot help

being awkward, bumbling, and shy. I am not here to judge or condemn you for "I" was once where you are, but I found a way out. I took myself "to school," and took a cold, honest look at myself. Did I like what I saw? No.

So I went through all of the areas of my life and it hit me. When I was in the process of either approaching, wanting to meet or just talk to a hot girl, I always, like clockwork, got rejected. Without any pomp or circumstance. Just hard, heaving laughter from a hot girl or group of hot girls sitting at a table in a plus restaurant.

Boy, did I do some suffering. I won't lie. I know that you are suffering even as you read this story, but hold it. I am going to tell you why you are a "loser," who is used to striking-out on a regular-basis.

A hot chick who has "kicked you to the curb"


Pal, girls like this


are hot, but they are almost-impossible for a hunk-of-a-man, a top-notch body builder, and even myself to meet, so I do not blame you for failing miserably at trying to meet these girls who excel in breaking a guy's heart.

it's not magic. And it does not take a huge-amount of money that you give to some fortune-teller in Baton Rouge. It is using common-sense in "how" you are going-about meeting hot girls.

I hope by the time you are finished with this story you will not be upset or angry at me because I am only trying to help you be with the hot girl you have been dreaming of for days. Maybe weeks.

Now mind you, I am not a miracle-worker. I am an average man who knows a thing or two about gorgeous women and more-importantly, it is what I know what not to do around these goddesses that counts the more.

What a smokin' hot girl


These girls are not for awkward guys

Hayden Panettiere, co-star of Nashville
Hayden Panettiere, co-star of Nashville | Source

Awkward guys, wouldn't you love to date this beauty?

don't be a dunce, sure you would. I would too, but I am way too old for her and besides, I am a happily-married man who has seen his "wild days," and none of them included girls like this one.

But to all of you single, awkward guys, who would be happy to just talk to a regular girl, just take some time to stop crying and read these bits of genius-advice. Then go out and see if they don't work.

  • When you walk up to a table of hot girls, make sure your fly is not open. Girls love to poke fun at guys like you who seldom check their zipper when dressing or before you leave the men's room. A good rule of thumb is: "Don't skip checking the zip."
  • Make sure that your teeth are not filthy. A sure turn-off for hot girls and girls in general is a guy with teeth that look like a farmer's barnyard.
  • Make sure that your breath is fresh and acceptable. The same thing for your teeth applies to your breath. Be sure that when you speak to the girl, she isn't put to sleep by your toxic breath.
  • Do not yell-out your name. Softly say your name in a mannerly-way. Girls love for guys to not be as abrasive. Just sneak into a girl's rest room and listen to what they are really saying about guys like you.
  • Do not get caught eavesdropping in the girl's rest room. You could be arrested as a "masher," and for stalking.
  • Watch how you walk. If you are prone to stumbling, practice at home how to walk straight and with poise. But take a note of wisdom here. Some girls adore a clumsy man, so do not walk too-perfectly or she will think you are snooty man.

Jessica Biel of Seventh Heaven and major films


Absolutely . . .Do not

  • Plop-down at the table where the hot girl or girls are watching you like an alligator watching a sick deer, and suddenly whip-out your wallet and say, "You girls want to see me at the flea market last week?"
  • Be self-imposing, or just plain pushy by ordering drinks for the girl before asking her what she drinks.
  • Ask her to dance and then lose your balance and bust your butt on the floor causing the hot babe to ask, "Mr. Clumsy, is this a joke?" or "Did someone put you up to acting stupid to make me look bad?"
  • Briskly walk up to the hot chick at the bar and do your famous "Trigger" impression. Remember "Trigger?" She or he was Roy Rogers' famous horse.
  • Put your sweaty hand on hers and say, "Buy me a drink, sweet thang."
  • Try to pay for her drink, and when you whip-out your wallet, a condom falls onto the bar and she giggles herself into a trip to the ladies room.
  • Give her a famous actor's name. Pal, she has eyes.

Look at this pretty girl

See what she

is doing? She is laughing at you, awkward guys. For doing what you always do when you are wanting to meet girls like her and those on this story.

So if you love to be laughed-at, made fun of, and humiliated, ignore the priceless tips on how not to meet hot girls I gave you in this story, but if you want to be known as a "man about town," and the fabled-title, "a ladies man," . . .

put these suggestions in-motion tonight. Do not wait. And just remember . . .

" Awkwardness can be cured "


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    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama


      First, I thank you sincerely for reading and commenting on this hub which is a mixture of comedy and good, down-to-earth, obvious common sense for awkward guys who sometimes, in the process of meeting gorgeous girls, try too hard.

      Secondly, I was not aware that you and others were laughing "at" me, but thanks for telling me. I am not offended at all. I will take a laugh at or with me any day instead of a dark, negative impulsive remark about my writing or national heritage.

      And if I were a gambler, which I am not, I would wager and win that YOU are not a nasty girl and your laughter might be a cover for your awkwardness. But nowhere in this piece did I imply that awkward guys, me included, are not stupid.

      We are able to see through the finest "acts" of girls being nice.



    • Michaela Osiecki profile image


      2 years ago from USA

      I'm not sure we're laughing at you so much as just being REALLY freaked out that some stranger walked up to us and tried to make a move on us. Unless we're really nasty human beings, the laughter is probably more to cover up OUR awkwardness and discomfort.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dear ThoughtsWriter,

      And thank you for your much-appreciated comment. I do love all of my followers.

      Come back anytime.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, WriterJanis,

      A sincere THANK YOU for your sweet comment. I hope that you and my other cherished-followers got some laughs from this. I do hope that none of you cried.


    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, Thelma,

      Sorry to be so late. I do appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on this hub. I am hoping that guys (like myself) will receive some wise advice on meeting "that" dream girl.

      Visit with me again.


    • ThoughtsWriter profile image


      4 years ago from America

      Ha! Too funny. Thanks.

    • WriterJanis profile image


      4 years ago from California

      Loved the humor in this.

    • Thelma Alberts profile image

      Thelma Alberts 

      4 years ago from Germany

      LOL! I like these advices you give to these awkward Guys. I´m sure these will help them cure their awkwardness. Well done! Thanks for sharing. Voted this up and shared-


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