Online Dating: Is there such a thing as a Perfect Online Dating Profile?
Nonconformity as it relates to Online Dating
It's more than likely that most Baby Boomers have watched "The Twilight Zone". The Twilight Zone episode, “Number 12 Looks Just Like You,” should be considered if one is contemplating online dating. Twilight Zone and online dating? Yes, in the Twilight Zone episode everybody is physically altered to look alike, to be physically attractive. A character in the episode says, "Is that good being like everybody? I mean, isn’t that the same as being nobody?” By giving up our physical appearance, we give up our individuality. Isn't individuality more important than conformity? If you are not yourself, than who are you? Presenting a false profile just to attract the largest number of potential mates serves no purpose, other than to stroke one's own ego. The goal of online dating is not to be the "most viewed", it's not a popularity contest, but to find a mate that is most compatible. Presenting the "perfect profile" does nothing more than intimidate prospective mates. How does one live up to perfection? Or, if one does attract the "perfect" potential mate, then does one not feel intimidated? As the saying goes, "be careful what you wish for". Why ask for more than you are capable of providing yourself?
How to Create the Perfect Online Dating Profile........or so they say
Joining an online dating site was an impulsive act.......researching online dating was an afterthought. Reversing these actions would have been wiser. After creating a dating profile on at least three dating sites, then I began to research how to create a dating profile. There was much written about algorithms, data crunchers and optimizing your chances. Don't forget the tips for writing the perfect profile and selecting the perfect photo. Optimize your chances of finding the perfect match by enrolling in a yoga class and learning to surf! What if one lives in the midwest (as I do) and opportunities for surfing can be challenging. Are we trying to mold ourselves into the perfect match, or are we trying to find someone that matches our true self? Online dating services simply provide more people that are available for dating than in the olden days of walking into a bar or gym. If people on dating sites are honest then the sites are able to narrow the search. The sites enable people to find others with common interests and compatible personalities. We all lead busy lives and if we are able to eliminate the truly incompatible then all the better to concentrate on the ones that have potential. One may scroll through hundreds, maybe thousands, of photos and profiles before finding anyone that piques one's interest. The Italian of my liking was number 780 of profiles viewed. The key to online dating, or any kind of dating, is patience. Trying to force or rush a relationship is surely a death knell. This author set a deadline of one year, but things were just starting to become promising at the one year mark. If one is spending money on a dating site then it would be practical to set a deadline. The dating site I used was totally free, so there was no need to be concerned with a timeline. Ultimately, the perfect online dating profile is the one that represents the real you, not a formulated one to attract the largest number of potential mates. Isn't the goal of online dating to attract a good match, not just any match?
Make a List and Check it Twice
Perhaps before one begins writing an online dating profile it would be wiser to sit down and write a checklist. Look at the dating site of your choice and write down all of the entries that you are required to fill out. Put some thought into your profile before you actually begin to create it online. These are some suggestions:
- Decide what you want: friendship, chat, short-term or long-term relationship, marriage, children. Be honest, if you write that you want short-term relationship but really want marriage, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
- Make a list of non-negotiables. If you can’t stand to be around smokers then don’t write that you will accept smokers. Same with alcohol or religion or anything that you are not willing to accept.
- List things that interest you. So many people list sports but if you are not athletic don’t pretend that you are. If you like to read (as I do) list some of your favorite books. If you like old Hollywood films put that on your profile. You’re trying to attract someone with common interests aren’t you?
- Put thought into your username. Even if you think you are just being humorous a username can be a turnoff. I’ve bypassed profiles with attractive profile pics because the username was a turnoff. Being too suggestive or complicated will just drive away potential mates.
- Do use recent photos. Not just head shots, everyone wants to see full body shots. If you do not post a full body shot it will just make him suspicious.
- Your introduction headline, like your username, should not be too suggestive. A brief summary is all that is needed, if it’s too long most people will not bother reading the entire thing, it’s supposed to be an introduction.
- Accentuate the positive throughout the profile. No one likes negativity. Wouldn’t you be attracted to someone that sounds like fun?
- Working from your notes, write your profile on paper before you ever go to the dating site (or on a document on your computer). Review what you’ve written and edit it before creating the profile online. Once you’ve created a profile on a document it will be much easier to create other profiles if you choose to join other dating sites. Many people utilize multiple dating sites.
- The most important element in creating a dating profile is HONESTY! If you want to attract someone that is truly compatible, you must be honest with them and yourself.