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International Online Dating Part Deux

Updated on June 29, 2014

Your place or mine?

What if you actually find someone in another country you want to date? Is it possible? Of course one has to consider cost. Are you able to afford to fly to another country and how often? Is the other person willing and able to fly to your country? Maybe meet halfway but for me halfway is somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean. Let's take a big leap forward. What if you fall in love and want to marry. Where do you live......his country or yours. Read international laws pertaining to the country of your choice regarding visas and citizenship applications. You may have to apply for an additional visa or register with the police depending on which country you are looking to reside. There is additional cost associated with obtaining a special immigration ID card. Unless you are financially independent, what kind of job will you be able to obtain if you move to a foreign country? You’ll have to apply for a work permit. If you do acquire a job then there is the tax system. You’ll have to apply for a personal tax ID number. The amount of paperwork keeps growing as one thinks of what is necessary in making a move to another country. A US driver’s license is good for a certain amount of time, then one is required to complete written and driving tests required for your country of residence. One may want to consider learning the country’s public transportation system. Think of being separated from all of your family and existing friends. Be honest with yourself about your personality type. I’ve always been a loner and have spent much time in self-imposed isolation. If you are the type of person that needs to be surrounded by friends or family constantly, think twice before contemplating a move to another country. Eventually, you will make new friends but until that happens be prepared to spend time alone. I read an article that Grace Kelly was miserable and cried often for several months after moving to Monaco. She did not know the language, was separated from her family and had no friends. What about learning another language........two years of high school German or French doesn't count. If one is determined, one will overcome all these obstacles. Above all, be conscious of anti-American sentiments and be respectful of other cultures. As alluring as the idea of living in Europe is, there is much to ponder before taking such a giant leap.


Does he have ulterior motives......can you say Green Card

My foray into the world of international online dating was very impulsive. More in depth research was done after joining the site. Most of the information and advice found was geared towards men. Men searching for Russian, Latin, Asian brides BEWARE! I read the material and it was interesting to find out that men were paying large amounts of money to chat online with these women. The site I found was totally free for chatting and sending emails and it is unlimited. There was a lot of advice about scammers which should be common knowledge by now. Anyone with common sense should realize no one should send money to anyone one meets online. I read an FBI report that 70% of the victims were women and more than half were women over 40 years of age. Just because someone does not ask for money that does mean that you are not being scammed. There a criminals out there that will spend weeks and months romancing their victim. The criminal will ask their victim to send them more photos or ask for their email address. Photos obtained are used to create false profiles. Email addresses and any other information obtained are sold. Don’t let your guard down just because you’re not being asked to send money. Then there is the threat of blackmail. If you think you have become intimate with someone and share chats with sexual content or worse yet, explicit videos, beware. The victims are sent links where they are able to view their personal information available for the whole world to view. The victims are informed if they pay money their information/videos will be removed. Sometimes victims pay the money but their information is not removed. These crimes are committed on domestic dating sites as well as international sites. There are dangers in any form of dating whether online or face-to-face. We just need to be aware of the possibilities. If men and women are contacted online by someone 20 to 30 years younger than them, a red flag should go up but doesn't always. The last of the Baby Boomers turned 50 in 2014. Does anyone 50 and up really believe a young man or woman in their 20's or even 30's is interested in them for who they are and not for money or a ticket to the USA? It saddens and angers me that there are younger men and women out there that prey on the Baby Boomer generation because they see us as lonely, easy targets. It was surprising that several men (young and older) were upfront and informed me that they were on the site because they wanted to move to the USA. They assured me it would be beneficial for me also......really? The site I’ve been using for that past year has a feature that enables me to "ban" profiles and I've used it liberally. With that said I will admit that I chatted with a younger man in Italy. He was 35 years old and I was 52 years old at the time. There were several younger men in their 20's and 30's that requested to chat with me. Almost all were declined but I did chat with a few but informed them we would be chat friends only. When creating a profile on the site, one can specify the type of relationship one is seeking: chat friend, talk, email, dating, marriage. I selected all of the aforementioned except marriage. Also, my profile specified an age range between 45 and 55 years. It seemed important to set ground rules from the beginning so as not to create false expectations. Let's be realistic about our own expectations from online dating. I'm not judging other's choices. There are sites for just about anything one is seeking. Whether dating, marriage or a hookup with no strings attached. When there is disparity in age, the cynic in me questions the motives. With online dating we should know the difference between taking a leap of faith and blind faith.


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