Baby Wanting: Hormones or Madness?
I have always wanted to have kids, however lately I have been wondering where these urges are really coming from. I mean seriously, who in their right mind would want life-long responsibility, nappy changing, baby- puke and the wondrous sound of baby screams as part of their daily routine? Not to mention weight gain, child birth and eventually a brat who thinks (or wishes) your pockets are bottomless, makes a weak argument for wanting a baby.
So while looking at some random child goggle-eyed and as if in some strange ovarian trance, I mentally slap myself and proceed to repeat in my head: "nappies, screaming, baby puke- don't go there, NOT YET!" Is it me or is it that every year I seem to get just a tiny bit more broody?
It is illogical- I do not have a stable career or a partner with pitter-patter of tiny feet on his mind. Needless to say, having the freedom to travel, to think of myself first and to have the occasional messy party night out still hits the spot. While I am nearly ready to give it up, I could quite happily stay here a while longer. So what is the matter with my brain? Hormones? Social conditioning? Instinct?
I will first consider the explanation given by some: hormones. Of course it's true us women are cyclical creatures. These cycles are thought to be driven by hormones. For better or for worse, these to some extent affect what we feel and want. For example during ovulation, we might desire male company or chocolate or a night out.
Or during PMS we might fancy smashing stuff, shouting or crying. Although I understand the biological facts and purposes of hormonal changes, if this is the reason for my baby wanting, then surely it would vary in intensity throughout the month. So are hormones responsible? My verdict is: to some extent yes.
Now, social conditioning is another factor to be considered. Since I was little I remember playing with dolls. I would carry them around; put them to sleep and so on. I never saw my brother carry a doll and attempt to feed it sand (baby food) or water (milk).
However, is this because I am female or because society encourages us to play with dolls in training to bear children later. And if so, have I been tricked with pink glitter and fairy dust, to want crying, pooing, puking and labour pains? So, can I blame it on society? Verdict: to some extent yes.
Lastly I will ponder that ambiguous term, instinct. Sure, it's instinctual to eat, sleep, fart and so on. And yes, to make love. But in this day and age the purpose of making love is largely to enjoy, connect or for fun; otherwise we wouldn't be looking for ways to avoid conception for most of our lives, would we?
It has been suggested that bearing children is women's destiny, nature or purpose. But of course through feminism and social change, it has become apparent that this is a generalisation to say the least. Is the reason for my baby craving instinct? Verdict: I am not even sure if instinct can or should be considered in this instance.
So is baby wanting hormones or madness? While I hope to have made it clear that I am not blindly wishing to pass my genes on, I still find myself ooohing and aaahing at babies. I wonder if I will have a boy or girl? I imagine them smiling, learning to walk..."nappies, screaming, baby puke- don't go there, NOT YET!" Personally, it sometimes feels as if my ovaries are controlling my brain or is it my womb? Well, this sure does sound like madness to me or is it hormones?