ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How Not to Date: Ways to Screw Up Finding Love and Meeting Men

Updated on February 13, 2013
Source

Everyone wants to find love and everyone wants their dates to go well. Whether it's men meeting women or women meeting men, both parties want to leave that situation feeling good and proud of how they behaved. In the world of online dating, it's tempting to alter the facts just a little to make oneself seem more appealing. This approach is guaranteed to backfire.

Although I've written about bad first dates for men, the protocol for women on a first date is different because of who usually does the asking and who usually sets up and executes the date. Generally, this is the man. The man is the asker and the woman is the askee. While this might be considered a sexist take on modern dating, it's most often the case. So while the man chooses the location and the manner of the date, it's up to the woman to show up and react. Effectively, the man is the active party in the dating game and the woman is the passive party. However, these roles can lead to calamity sometimes and below are a variety of ways a woman can kill potential on a first date.

  • Using an old photograph - This refers mostly to online dating. Sure, you want to use a good photograph of yourself, but if you're 35 and your photo is from when you were 25 and you've changed your hair color and gained some weight, the guy is going to notice. Use a recent photo. That being said, don't use a photo that's too good. The best thing you can do is show up and have the guy think that you look better than your photograph.
  • Inaccurate physical details - Be honest about yourself. How much do you really weigh? How active are you really? If you're chunky and you describe yourself as thin, the man is going to meet you and be disappointed. Much like the last point, if you can undersell yourself just a little bit, you'll show up to the first date and the guy will be like: "this chick is way better than her description!" That's a lot better than: "this chick is way lamer than her description!"
  • Too much perfume - Despite what a lot of women seem to think judging by how much perfume they use, men are really turned on by a woman's smell, so destroying it with too much perfume is likely to make a man thinking about barfing. If you're under 50, you should be dabbing whatever perfume you're using so that it mixes with your natural body odor and requires the slightest effort to smell. A man should wonder what kind of perfume you're wearing. He shouldn't want to douse you with a firehouse to stop his nose from burning.
  • Being too passive - Men put a lot of effort into the first date. Even if it doesn't seem like it, the man probably feels like he put a lot of effort into it. Even if he put no effort into it and he's paying, he probably feels like he's making effort. A woman on a first date has got to project some interest. Forcing the guy to initiate every conversation, ask every question, make every move, is going to result in a bad first date and a man that feels defeated.
  • Not playing it cool - Women don't like a guy who's too eager. Generally, it scares them. Believe it or not, men don't like women who are too eager either, unless you're super hot. However, most of us aren't that hot. And if you're that hot, you're not reading this. Anyway, even if you've been lucky enough to get Brad Pitt on your first date, you need to play it somewhat cool. You've got to make the guy work a little, and give him positive reinforcement on a semi-regular basis during the date.
  • Getting too familiar too fast - This is a subset of the previous point. Then again, maybe it's just me. Actually, it's not. Women who give off desperation do so differently than men, but no matter, desperation reeks no matter the sex. Women who are desperate get touchy-feely way too fast. They lean over and expose themselves. They laugh at bad jokes. There's a thin line between appropriate and inappropriate, but desperate women always cross it. The first date has to be a casual dance. Sure, it can be a physical melee too, but the signals have to be read correctly. Desperate people always read the signals wrong. It's better to be calm and play things cool. Clingy, annoying, cloying - never works.
  • Ordering the most expensive thing on the menu - Even if you're going out with the richest bachelor in the world, acting like a gold digger is going to give off a bad impression. Be respectful of a man's wallet. Even if you plan to offer to pay for half the date, the man is going to see a red flag. It might go away when you offer to pay, but it's going to be in the back of his mind. Unless you don't give a crap about a second date, don't go crazy spending somebody else's money.
  • Drooling - Keep your spit in your mouth, unless you've had a stroke or something, which is certainly an item that should be discussed prior to the date. Barring strokes and other drool-inducing conditions, dropping a big pool of drool while in the middle of a conversation is not likely to be overlooked.
  • Belching - It's common knowledge that guys love belching, but they just enjoy it with other guys mostly. Belching on a first date as a way to show you're hip to a guy's code is going to make him look at you as he would another guy, not somebody he'd like to ask out on a second date.
  • Flatulence - If you're gassy, take something before your date. And I know, you're a woman, you can let them go without anyone hearing anything, but men know that women's farts are of the "silent but deadly" kind and when that dead skunk smell wafts into his nostrils, he's going to suspect you if he didn't hear anything or do it himself. Flatulence just isn't romantic.

Comments

Submit a Comment

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 

    6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Drooling? Really? I am assuming this information comes from a date gone wrong. That is just scary!

  • wonderful1 profile image

    Sheila Varga Szabo 

    6 years ago from Southern California

    OK, the last three were intended as a joke, right? Please say "yes," cause it scares me to think any woman would actually DO that on a first date. Another great hub, thanks!

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)