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Bald men are so sexy. Let your head shine!

Updated on December 7, 2010

“So I finally went out with Michael. And, wow, you wouldn’t believe the shock I got!” My friend Roxy loved to dish about her dates. “He had lots of hair” she continued, “...on his HEAD!”

I was surprised. I’d met the guy at the same party she had. And I remembered him -- dark blue eyes, fabulous smile, bald. At least, I’d assumed he was bald. After all, he was a grown man, and he was wearing a baseball cap. What better sign of baldness is there?

Among my friends, we even have a name for them – Base-bald caps. That’s not saying baseball caps cause baldness. It’s the reverse. Baldness causes baseball caps to be worn by otherwise rational, tasteful adult males.

It’s as if these head-hiders think that because we’re usually shorter, women aren’t capable of seeing anything above eye level. Or at least, our vision is so bad that we’re easily fooled. What other possible explanation could there be for baseball caps and their evil cousin, the toupee?

Toupees are especially sad. We women know what it’s like to wear uncomfortable things for the sake of beauty. And gluing a mat of hair to the top of your head -- how could that possibly be comfortable? True, sore feet and backaches aren’t pleasant. But when we endure the pain of high heels, we at least have the fun of looking sexy. A guy with a mat of hair glued to the top of his head looks like...a guy with a mat of hair glued to his head.

One of the most universally attractive features is self-confidence. That’s what makes this whole cover-up thing so unfortunate. When a man hides his head, he’s saying that he can’t face up to being bald, that he’s embarrassed by his lack of hair. But it’s his lack of self-confidence that’s the real turn-off.

Baldness is hardly a big secret. Two thirds of all Caucasian men will have lost some or most of their hair by the age of 40. It’s natural. After a certain age, women practically expect a man to be bald.

“I’m a little bit prejudiced when I meet a middle-aged man with a full head of hair. It’s almost like I’m expecting him to be a male bimbo”, reports a female lawyer who chooses to remain anonymous. “I’m thinking, ‘This guy just gets by on having great hair. He’s never needed to develop a brain or a personality.’ ”

“I’m fascinated by that whole hormone thing,” adds Sandra, a media executive. “I had a bald boyfriend who used to say that he had better things to do with his testosterone than to waste it growing hair. And, girlfriend, he was right!”

Male pattern baldness is caused by an overabundance of DHT, a powerful testosterone derivative. If you doubt that baldness is a reflection of a man’s masculinity, think about this -- Eunuchs never go bald.

There is something very in-your-face sexual about a bald head. I think there’s even a subliminal effect, in that it brings to mind a man’s other “bald head.” Remember Wilson Bryan Key’s Subliminal Seduction ? The book is sort of a paranoid treatise about hidden messages in advertising. According to Key, split second flashes of sexual subjects were inserted into ordinary commercials to create a desire for the product.

Years ago, I saw him lecture about it. He magnified and analyzed the dot structure of print ads, looking for sexual symbols. I still remember him showing us a magnified placemat from Howard Johnson’s, pointing out dots that he said looked like teddy bears screwing. I couldn’t see it. But what I could see was his totally bald head poking out of his white shirt. And I thought the collar of his shirt looked an awful lot like the fly in a pair of white boxer shorts. I’ve always wondered if he meant to give off that subliminal message.

Part of the sexiness of a bald head isn’t even subliminal. Women are notoriously tactile creatures. That’s why our wardrobes have evolved to include all of the soft and silky fabrics. Smooth is sensual; and there’s no part of the body quite as smooth as a bald man’s head.

When my friend Roxy found the surprise under that guy’s baseball cap, she wasn’t exactly thrilled. She’s been dating bald guys since high school, and has always had a marked preference for them. She likes to say that “it isn’t just the bald head, it’s what he does with it.”

The new man in her life, she complained, had hair that was thicker than her own, with not even a hint of a bald spot. “No bare spot to press my lips.” was how she put it. But Roxy is, at her core, an open-minded gal. “He’s got lots of other great qualities”, she reminded herself. “We’re just getting started in this relationship. I’m totally crazy about him. So I have to believe that someday he’ll fall deeply in love with me. That’s when I’ll ask him to shave.”

Yul Brynner.  Hot, hot, hot...well, except that he's dead.
Yul Brynner. Hot, hot, hot...well, except that he's dead.
Ben Kingsley could make Gandhi look sexy!
Ben Kingsley could make Gandhi look sexy!


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    • profile image

      Anna 4 years ago

      Honestly, bald men are such a turn on for me. My husband is receding now and I am begging him to not fight it (its his choice though). I fantasize about rubbing his beautiful almost bare to completely bare head all over my body. I am bare in certain spots for him so I am ready to help him any way i can. Men get better with age :)

    • profile image

      roy 4 years ago

      well, im a man and i like confident girls ,so by this logic i should tell them to not use mascara right? because if they are doing something to improve their looks that must mean that they're insecure.Worthless pice of shit writing.

    • profile image

      MSV 5 years ago

      I have never had a problem been attractive to women. I was depressed when started receding thinking I was not going to be able to attract women no longer. Truth is it was totally the opposite: If anything it has gotten better now that I shave my head. Self confidence and how you project yourself to women plays big part in it.

    • profile image

      Victor 5 years ago

      I have been bald for 15 years until this month I got MHT from his hair clinic and I can tell you I have had a lot more women hitting on me of all ages. So I am proof that women prefer men with hair.

    • Richycholmes profile image

      Richycholmes 5 years ago from Moseley, Birmingham, England

      Dan I reckon you have a point about not all women prefering guys with hair. I do know that this is not the case to be fair and I know plenty of good looking women it does not bother. Can see why you may of got a little vexed with littlerjreynolds comments bud.

      Another thing you are spot on with is that it is a confidence thing and this is massively important for women more than anything. I reckon guys are a lot more hung up on it than women because by nature we are more likely to be visual and asthetical than a women can be.

      One thing I know is that you can take the hair but you cannot take away the good bloke it sits on top of.

      Good luck bud


    • profile image

      Dan 5 years ago

      rjreynolds 16 months ago

      having a full hed of hair is always better than being balding-most women prefer men with hair and at the very least they will all say that it is a plus.

      In response: Im a a bald man, to say something of this nature makes me think you are more insecure than most of my brothers. Reading your comment made me laugh and turned my face as red as a man on steroids. One question, where is your data to support this? do you have polling numbers ? or again, are you just making up for your lack of confidence. Id like to shave your head and throw you in the city to run wild for a few days. Your talking like a boy, shut up. Its annoying.

    • Richycholmes profile image

      Richycholmes 5 years ago from Moseley, Birmingham, England

      I am losing my hair and since I have receded some what I am struggling to attract women. I never had a problem before but now it just no longer clicks and I have not changed my approach or how I come across. What as changed, losing my hair.

      I would like to state that I have shaved my head before and it does not really suit me. If you are lucky that it does suit you, with the right clothes you can look great.

      Peronally I am hoping for a cure so I can get back to attracting the women I did before. I would also like to state that I take care of myself and exercise a lot and I am friendly and outgoing.

    • profile image

      Russ 6 years ago

      Yep, I agree with Tony. I only wear a baseball cap to protect my cue-ball from the sun. But, you have to have the RIGHT baseball cap, otherwise they scratch the f*&% out of your head.

      Totally agree with the baldness/testosterone thing too .. ahem ...

    • profile image

      RC 6 years ago

      Why are women so obsessed with a man's hair. I don't get it.Most of the guys I see with hair have s%@t hair anyway; guys are not supposed to be beautiful;these dudes get no respect from other men. What makes a a man so much hotter with hair than without hair? . You always get the, 'ohh, I love to run my fingers through his hair?' is that the only thing that concerns them? If I saw a bald women, it wouldn't bother me at all as long as she has nice eyes and a nice smile. I wouldn't give a flying f@*k about her hair. Anwyway, being a bald man in my 20s I have no chance with women in their 20s so there's definitely something in it. And If I have to hear about the whole vin diesel, jason statham, and yul brinner comparisons, I'll pull my hair out....oh wait.

    • profile image

      chikki78 7 years ago

      Well not all women like men with hair. I like bald men im in my 30's and they seem sexy they are sure of themselves and they don't need to have a full head of hair to prove anything! If you haven't noticed Vin Diesel is super hot and hes bald! Men don't try to hold on to your hair most bald men I know have the hottest girlfriends,lovers, and wifes around go figure!:)

    • profile image

      rjreynolds 7 years ago

      having a full hed of hair is always better than being balding-most women prefer men with hair and at the very least they will all say that it is a plus.

    • profile image

      tony 7 years ago

      i'm a bald guy and i love showing off my head. most women like it too... well, the ones who arent trying to be little girls anymore. the only reason that i wear baseball caps sometimes is to keep my sexy scalp from getting sunburn. that sh*t hurts!

    • profile image

      katie 7 years ago

      what are you talking about I didn't even mean to search this

    • AdamGee profile image

      AdamGee 8 years ago

      This makes me feel better. Thanks!