- Gender and Relationships»
- Advice & Tips for Men in Relationships
Be A Secure Man, Not A Jealous, Needy, Manipulative Bastard!
Don't be a needy insecure man...
The single most attractive quality a man has in the eyes
of a woman, is SECURITY.
A secure man is not only attractive, but he’s also interesting,
women feel drawn to him, want to get to know him better,
want to spend the rest of their lives with him, don’t want to
ever be apart from him.
If you’re going to work on ONE thing first, should be SECURITY.
I bet there’s someone in your work that just projects self
security, there’s always someone like that where we work.
Think how you feel when you’re near that person, you feel
secure around him, you feel like he’s got your back right?,
like somehow you can TRUST that person with anything.
Well, it’s the same thing women feel around a secure guy.
Most relationship problems come from INSECURITY, either
the woman being insecure, or the man, sometimes both.
The deal is, it’s not same when a woman is acting insecure,
than when a man is acting insecure.
An insecure man is almost repulsive!.
Have you listened to a couple of women talking about a
guy who’s conveying insecurity?
It goes a little something like this:
Lani: “It’s just so.... ugh!. He starts acting so needy,
always asking me how I feel, what do I want, it’s so annoying!”.
Ruth: “I know, I had a boyfriend like that once and it
was draining. I didn’t trust him”.
I’m NOT JOKING, I’ve heard this with my own ears COUNTLESS
times!, I even had the unpleasant surprise of catching one of
my former girlfriends saying something to that extend to one
of her friends once, and I was so naïve and so ignorant about
all this, that I didn’t do anything to stop behaving like that,
instead I remember I clung even MORE!, what a DUMB-ASS!
So, we need to stop being insecure. If you’re reading this,
you’re definitely on the right track, you’ve chosen to look
for help, and you’re going to get the best help there is, trust
me, but I need you to work hard with me here and every time
you catch yourself being overly needy, clingy, asking her too
much for what she wants, what she needs, putting yourself
down for her and disrespecting your time for her, back out
and notice what you’re doing.
Saying things like, “baby, you’re right, it’s MY fault, how can
I make it better?” or even worst “I don’t know what to do,
please TELL ME what to do!”, every time you catch yourself
saying one of those things or doing any of those things, PULL
BACK and REPEAT in your mind whatever you just said.
It will help you reframe and realize what just happened.
So remember, PULL BACK and REPEAT.
Remember that a secure man is strong and in control of his
emotions and actions. Women don’t want to tell you what to
do, they want you to KNOW what to do, they EXPECT you to
know what to do.
A real secure man doesn’t need approval from anyone, he
does as he think he should without minding what others think
and want. He takes other into consideration obviously, specially
his woman, but he’s firm in his actions without being domineering.
Be dominant, not domineering.