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Are Bed Bugs Ruining Your Relationship And Sex Life?

Updated on September 9, 2017
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Melody has volunteered with the CDC and is a member of the Medical Reserve Corps. She brings awareness to public health concerns.

Are They Destroying Your Relationship?


Bed Bugs and Relationships

Bed bug relationship problems are on the rise. There are more and more break ups and divorces fulled by these creepy vermin.

The depth of bed bug related stress can not be fathomed by most who have not experienced bed bugs.

The problem is so complex, and to often brushed under the rug. Leaving people feeling alone.

The relationship disturbance reaches deep within a person.

When there are two people fighting a bed bug battle, sometimes they grow frustrated.

Two people can begin to battle each other, and lose sight of the real enemy.

Bed bugs challenge our minds more than they challenge our physical self.

The break down begins with a lack of communication.

When two people are not fully communicating, they are not able to solve problems effectively.

Bed bugs can drag on and on and apply stress to even the best communicators.

In those cases, the ideal result is that the couple is strong and patient in finding the solution.

However, when couples do not communicate effectively, the result can be a chasm that causes each partner to move in a different direction.

This then snowballs. The couple may find that they are on different pages. Each moving in a different direction.

This can cause the feeling of being disconnected. At this point, bed bugs have driven a wedge between the partners.

That wedge could destroy the relationship.

© 2012 by Bedbugabscond
© 2012 by Bedbugabscond

Money Woes and Bed Bugs

Bed bugs can lead to the fundamental issues that may breakdown a relationship.

Most people know that one of the top reasons couples fight is money.

Bed bugs do not drain blood they drain the wallet.

Exterminating them will cost money.

If two people are not already having regular conversations about their budget, they should make a budget now.

Do not have a budget? That could be part of the problem.

At some point, all couples will have money woes and need to learn how to communicate over them.

Bed bugs might just be the fuel that happens to light the fire and cause disharmony.

It is essential that the couple sits down and has an in-depth conversation about bed bugs, and how they affect the budget.

Each person needs to remain unemotional and try approach the problem logically.

Sure, it is OK to vent. If you can not vent to your partner, who can you vent to?

Once the venting is over, it is time to become a problem-solving team.

A great way to avoid bed bug relate money fights is to research the costs together.

Or, one person can research the problem and then bring the figures to the others attention.

In this case, the other member needs to listen. If they disagree, then they need to do some of their own research.

Once both people in the relationship understand what it will cost, and how it fits in to the budget, it becomes easier to diffuse the stress about what bed bug extermination costs.

Help Others by Taking This Bed Bug Poll.

How have bed bugs impacted your relationship?

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Fighting Over Bed Bugs

Bed bugs cause people in relationships to fight more.

If the fighting is not over money, then it is over something else.

Stress manifests itself differently in different couples.

Fighting can be caused by many things.

Couples report an increase in fighting when a person feels they are working harder than the other.

This can make the person working the hardest to feel as if the other does not prioritize their relationship.

After all, if there is a problem, shouldn't both members work just as hard to solve it?

When both partners already feel that they are doing their fair share, the problem can be more complex.

This is why every couple needs a solid bed bug plan.

You can use such a plan to understand how to exterminate bed bugs.

A couple can sit down with a plan and decide who will be responsible for what.

This way, both people in the relationship feels that there is an equal amount of work and effort going in to the issue.

If a couple can openly discuses money, and split the bed bug extermination work equally, then they will not fight as much.

Communication and Bed Bugs

Communication is one of the main themes in marriage, or any relationship.

If a couple does not talk openly and honestly about the bed bug issue, then they have no release for their frustrations.

Not only is there no release, the lack of communication will interfere with the entire bed bug extermination process.

This interference can cause frustration that is sure to create conflict.

Talking peacefully about bed bugs, how they affect the budget and how to split the work all hinge on couples ability to communicate effectively.

Without proper communication, bed bug can cause a relationship to experience an early demise.

You can not force people to change how they communicate.

You can not force other people to change their perceptions.

Each member of the relationship must take responsibility for their own communication and perceptions, and not try to control others.

If one person refuses to make adjustments in their communication and perceptions for the other, the issue goes much deeper than bed bugs.

Each individual needs to be willing to meet the other halfway in the time of stress and crisis.

This means that each person needs to understand how to be an effective listener.

They must be able to hear how the other things and feels without criticizing their partner.

If there must be anger, direct it at the bed bugs, not each other.

Each person must be willing to see the others point of view and to support each other in coping.

Remember, for better or worse includes bed bugs.

Want to become a better listener?

Research suggest that many people do not understand effective listening behaviors.

If you want to learn more about effective listening read a book by John A. Kline.
He wrote a book/handbook called Listening Effectively: Achieving High Standards in Communication (NetEffect Series).

This is an incredible book which illuminates attitudes of effective listening.

This book covers business listening tactics, but also covers family and relationship listening techniques that can change your entire life.

Putting time in to learning to listen can reduce the friction caused by bed bugs.

When both parties learn to listen, then it promotes open and honest communication that can make a relationship flourish.

Communicating openly and calmly about bed bugs can prevent relationship breakdown.


Bed Bug Anxiety and Marital Problems

Anxiety and stress can put a major strain on a relationship.

Either one, or both, partners might be suffering from enough stress to pull two loving people apart.

Bed bugs can make one, or both partners far less than amorous, but that might be the least of the worries.

Severe stress and anxiety about bed bugs can lead to crippling depression, which can destroy even the best of marriages.

Hopefully through supportive behaviors, effective listening and honest communication, two people can help each other cope with anxiety or stress about bed bugs.

However, if either one of you are overwhelmed with the feelings it might be a good idea to seek professional help.

Be as supportive as possible if you find your partner is especially stressed out by bed bugs.

It is up to them to help their partner work through the bed bug issues.

If this does not seem to help, then the depressed person should see a doctor.

Bed bugs do cause post traumatic stress disorder.

If one member of the relationship simply can not handle the emotions that come with bed bugs, the other has to be willing to pick up the slack.

For sickness and health includes depression, which can be brought on by bed bugs.

No matter how severe the depression, do not take it personally.

Instead, they need to continue offering love and support. Eventually, this will help to build the other person back up.

How to Prevent Bed Bug Related Relationship Conflict

1. Both Partners must be willing to admit there is a problem.

2. Both Partners must share the workload equally.

3. Both partners must communicate with the other without getting defensive.

4. Both partners must support each other and learn to cope with the stress and anxiety created by bed bugs.

5. Seek relationship counciling or try a Do-It-Yourself Relationship Workbook.

When I worked with the community outreach Bed Bug Program we did not just try to help people get rid of bed bugs. We tried to offer them resources to aid in stress and relationship problems.

Some people did not want to see marriage counselers, so we used "The Relationship Skill Workbook: A Do It Yourself Guide To A Thriving Relationship".

We would give couples homework from the workbook. We used this woorkbook because the author goes out of their way to change the way that people view themselves as a person and their role in a relationship.

With both members in the relationship participating, it really helped couples stand together and become stronger as a team.

If a couple can do these four things on a consistent basis, then they become a united front against bed bugs.

A husband and wife are stronger together than when divided. Once two partners become a mean, lean bed bug fighting machine, they can leave fear behind them, and steam roll ahead.

Bed bugs have no chance at disrupting a marriage when a couple is on the same page. When creating an integrated bed bug plan make sure these issues are addressed.


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    • StreetShepherd profile image

      StreetShepherd 2 years ago from Everywhere you are

      Liked the article. Very good.

    • krbalram profile image

      rahul 4 years ago from Bangalore

      bedbugabscond,i have seen bad bugs in my home also but i have heard it first time that how this can affect relationships.Voting it up.

    • Bedbugabscond profile image

      Melody Trent 5 years ago from United States

      You are right, there are a ton of Hotels that have infestations. Also, college dorms are becoming an issue as well you can look up a place to stay here: Not every hotel infested with bed bugs is listed, but it is a place to start.

    • Jamie Brock profile image

      Jamie Brock 5 years ago from Texas

      I have been hearing about bed bugs a lot lately... I hate to say it but for a long time I didn't even know they existed until I saw a special on TV talking about how some hotels were infested with bedbugs and to be sure not to stay at these places or you could bring them into your kind of freaked me out! I can definitely see why it would be stressful on a relationship especially if one was trying to minimize the problem. Disease or not, it's a bug and I sure don't want it in my bed.. no way! Interesting hub, voting up :)

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 5 years ago from United States

      There is certainly a lot of good information about the problems that can occur in any marriage, regardless of bed bug. Interesting hub.

    • annerivendell profile image

      annerivendell 5 years ago from Dublin, Ireland

      This is so much more about relationships than about bed bugs. If something is a big deal to one partner, then it should be a big deal to both. That's what partnership is about. If it's wasn't bed bugs, something else was bound to show up the cracks in this relationship. Thank you for the hub, it was interesting.

    • wynnestudios profile image

      wynnestudios 5 years ago from Phoenix, AZ

      Wow, I can't believe the military has a bed bug expert. LMAO... Awesome!

    • Bedbugabscond profile image

      Melody Trent 5 years ago from United States

      You are absolutely right. Denial, an unequal share of labor/costs and honest communication are essential in a relationship. The interesting part is that Sally and George "thought" they had all of that, until they got bed bugs. Thanks for the vote, and stopping by!

    • Glenn Stok profile image

      Glenn Stok 5 years ago from Long Island, NY

      Interesting way to present this info. Reading between the line, so to speak, I can see that this discussion can relate to many relationship problems. That makes this even more interesting. You got my vote. Congratulations on your HubNuggets nomination.

    • Bedbugabscond profile image

      Melody Trent 5 years ago from United States

      I think denial is the worst, and most dangerous stage with bed bugs. The quicker you get on top of it the quicker you find relief. Every day a person puts it off is a person the bed bugs multiple.

      Wow, Hub Nugget nomination,that is so cool, thanks!

    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 5 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      Bed bugs like any other problems causes a strain in a relationship if not dealt with. So hope the denial lifts!

      There will be no bedbugs here but a lot of joy in the Hubnuggets lair. Join in and celebrate your hubnuggets nomination as you read and vote: Congratulations!

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 5 years ago from Dubai

      Bedbugs do cause a lot of problems, they must be done away with.Marital problems, my God it does irritate when one partner says it's no big deal when it really means a lot to the other. Bedbugs be gone!!

    • Bedbugabscond profile image

      Melody Trent 5 years ago from United States

      I agree. In today's economy and job market it is tough enough as it is! Truthfully, it was the emotional and psychological struggles I have seen people with bed bugs going through which motivated me to create this hub.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Those bugs cause a lot of frustration in any relationship. It would be tragic within a young married couple's with so much at stake within a tight budget. Interesting read on this one.