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Bed Etiquette, A Couples Guide to Sharing the Bed

Updated on December 7, 2016

Bed Etiquette? what is that you say? Believe it or not there is a certain art to sleeping, actual sleeping with someone. Especially if you have been snoozing with the same partner for years. I myslef was inspired to write this hub at three in the morning when I was struggling for covers and a space on the bed. do you feel like you have to mark out your territory before going sleep so you have half the bed? Do you or your partner race to the bed so that the first on there may get the fair share of the covers and the body pillow? If you are a part of this couple read on on how you can get a better night's sleep!


Taking sides

So when sharing the bed do you have a preferred side? The Premier Inn, a hotel in the UK took a survey about preferred sleeping styles of couples. The study indicated that 50% of individuals do not get a good nights sleep inf they are tucked into the side of the bed they are not used to. Most couples make decision about the side of the bed they sleep on based on the bedroom environment. Some people don't want to be next to the wall while others want a shorter trip on a midnight bathroom run. This is the biggest decision of and the source of most arguments at bedtime.. Be sure to be sensitive to the needs of others when sharing a bed.

Do's and Don'ts

DO make sure there are enough clean linens and blankets and pillows on the bed for both of you.

DO come to a compromise on the room temperature prior to going to bed.

DO try to go to bed at the same time, especially on work nights. Understandably this cannot happen all the time, But if you both go to bed at the same time it is less likely you will wake one another.

DO have a routine for going to bed. Just like children we have to get our bodies and minds prepared for sleep!

DON'T leave the TV on overnight. Nothing like waking up to the sound of man eating tarantulas on the Sci-Fy channel at 3 in the morning. If you watch TV in bed try to turn it off before you sleep.

DON'T play with your laptop or your cell phone while your significant other is trying to sleep. The light and the noise will most likely be distracting even thought your significant other says it is not. Believe me .. you can try tomorrow to get to the next level in Candy Crush.

DON'T eat in bed. You will either have crumbs in bed or some sort of smelly dish by your bedside when you wake up. Your chomping or clanking of spoon will be distracting...

When is sleeping apart ok?

Many couples who have been together many years may start sleeping in separate beds or separate bedrooms for that matter. I when thinking about sleeping in separate beds I always think about the Dick Van Dyke show when he and his wife would tuck themselves in separate twin beds.The reason for this was to depict a "clean and wholesome" family show. However in reality, it might be a medical condition or excessive snoring might be the culprit that drives your significant other out of the bed! If the condition cannot be fixed then a separate sleeping arrangement may be necessary. It is estimated that twenty five percent of couples sleep in separate beds. These couples state it does not affect the quality of the relationship but does affect the quality of sleep.

Sleeping Solo

Do you sleep in a seperate bed from your partner

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Sleeping with animals

We are all guilty of pampering our pets. But when is it too much? I will tell you when! When you wake up in the middle of the night wondering what animal body part is stuck in your face! ( much like this picture) One animal might be doable when two are sleeping in the bed, but anything after this is too much! You can't get comfortable because you can't strech out your legs because there is a dog at the bottom of the bed. You can't get comfortable because you don't want to move so you won't distrub your little jack russell asleep in the crook of your legs. Dogs are blanet hogs too. When the air conditioner is on at least two of the three dogs burrows itself under the blanket or pulls the blanket down to where they are so they are nice and comfy!

If you are considering getting a dog don't get in the habit of having them sleep in the bed with you. It will be a hard habit to break. I have included a picture below that proves it is not my fault all the dogs sleep in the bed!


If you have cats or dogs

Do you let your pet sleep in your bed with you? Is it comfortable?

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The use of electronic equipment before bed

I can't tell you how many Facebook Statuses I have read that say I can't sleep! I bet they would have a better attempt at sleeping if they turned off their computer or phone. There are new studies out now that say how bad it is to use electronic devices before going to sleep. Some studies indicate that using an electronic device before tow hours before bed can drop your melatonin levels by 22 percent. It seems that the artificial light from our devices interfere with production of this chemical. So try not to be on the computer, phone or IPad/Kindle two hours prior to sleep.


How important is sleep?

If you have ever gone through a sleepless night then I do not have to tell you how important sleep is to your day. The Centers for Disease control states the average person needs at lease 5 to eight hours of sleep a night. Here is a map including percentages of people who feel they do not get enough rest.

What to do if I can't sleep?

If you can't sleep you need to take a look at your day. Are you sleeping throughout the day? This ay be an issue preventing you from sleeping at night. Do you drink a lot of caffinated beverages throughout the day? This may be another culprit. How about exercise. Fitting in some exercise throughout your day will make your body more relaxed at night.

Secondly get a routine going to help your body know it is time to sleep. A relaxing shower or bath before slipping under the sheets will help. Sometimes people use lavender scented items to help lull them to sleep.

Try to avoid using over the counter medications. Quite often these medications can be addicting. When at all possible try other means to get you to sleep other than depending upon a pill. If you are still having problems then consult your physcian.


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    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 

      6 years ago from south Florida

      What's that saying, Ms.C? One good turn deserves most of the covers! From experience, I can vouch for that truth.


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