ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Being Happy Being Someone Else (Why Men Dress Like Women)

Updated on October 16, 2009

Why? I'll tell you why...

It's a strange aspect of the human condition that happiness always seems to exist outside the sphere of what and who we are. For some people, this search for external happiness manifests as a desire to be someone else entirely. It's not enough to be just an average human being living an average life, so some people go so far as to create alter egos which satisfy their desire to be that which they are not.

I often write about this type of escapism when I write about men who wear lingerie or wear women's clothes. A great deal of these men have created and named female alter egos. These female alter egos will often have personality traits which are completely separate from the man's normal personality. A generally reserved and dominant man may become a sweet bubbly little social butterfly when he puts on his party dress. Not all men who wear women's lingerie feel this way or fall into this category of course, but the phenomenon exists none the less. The question here is, why?

Well, let's look at the phenomenon with a wider lens. Men who wear lingerie and women's clothing aren't the only ones who find happiness in escapist fantasy alter egos. The sky is the limit for this type of behavior, though it is usually only extreme cases which draw attention and comment. For example, there are those who would quite like to be animals and dress up as their favorite animals, prowling around, pouncing on pretend prey and cleaning themselves with their tongues. These people sometimes even have plastic surgery to make them look more like their chosen animal. (Cue: Cat Man.)

On the less extreme end of the spectrum, most of us enjoy escaping our reality now and then by reading books and watching movies. We may not create alter egos, but we nevertheless revel in the idea of being 'more' than what we are. For many of us, what we are is never enough. A niggling sense of dissatisfaction drives us through our days, sometimes inspiring us, sometimes causing us despair.

Spiritual types will tell you that true happiness can only be found 'within'. Unfortunately, finding happiness within isn't what has made man (for better or worse) the dominant species on the planet. Finding happiness within could even be said to go against our very natures. One could argue that it is our continual yearning for something better, something more which has allowed us to see beyond the veil of the sky and to create vast civilizations of beauty and tragedy. (So, suck it, spirtual types.)

We are creatures of fantasy and imagination. It is our imagination which has been the foundation of all our achievements. Sometimes our dreams can be realized, and sometimes they cannot. Of course a man cannot biologically become a woman, nor can he biologically become a tiger. But he can become a police man or a scientist or a great politician. The biological tools which cause us to aspire to certain roles are not limited by something as flimsy as reality. The imagination knows no difference between a policeman and Superman.

The drive that has pushed our species to ever greater heights, which has created great leaders, great inventors, great musicians et al, is the same drive which allows us to find joy in the idea of being a man (if you're a woman), a woman(if you're a man), a vampire, a dolphin, a ninja pirate spy or any other creature or character one might care to think of.

And that's why sometimes a guy will put on a fabulous sequined dress and call himself Jenny.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      9 years ago

      Hi silkytouch2. I am glad you enjoyed the hub. Keep in mind though, I am but one woman, so as much as I may understand some of the elements of men who wear lingerie, I have never claimed total insight. I would imagine that most, if not all my articles would be wildly innacurate if viewed from alternate perspectives. I agree that the man who wears lingerie to feel feminine or to break a taboo is not doing it for the same reason that a man who really feels himself to be a woman does.

      On the plus side, there is already a great deal of literature out there for transgenderd people, so I don't normally feel too bad for not covering this aspect of the equation in great detail.

      The main reason I began to write these articles was to speak to the moderates of the issue who were often lumped in with those at the extreme ends of the spectrum, unfairly and to their detriment.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      I am suprised I missed this article when you first wrote it. It is a little more insightful than many of your articles. While you do not directly say so male lingerie wearing and the satisifactions it brings are motivated by many different factors. While some men want to get in touch with their more feminine oriented feelings, and others use it as transitional obects, much like a child has a snuggy there is in fact a spectrum of cross dressing males driven by very different needs.

      I think you do a great job but sometimes that "monster" in the closet needs a passing mention as does the large number of secret scarred ....don't want to be humiliated panty lovers.

    • hangman1963 profile image


      9 years ago

      Another great article. Thank You.

      Meet Kari Nicole.

    • profile image


      9 years ago


    • goldentoad profile image


      9 years ago from Free and running....

      I sometime think I am a golden toad and try to catch flies with my tongue

      cool thoughts


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)