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Being Happy Being Someone Else (Why Men Dress Like Women)

Updated on October 16, 2009

Why? I'll tell you why...

It's a strange aspect of the human condition that happiness always seems to exist outside the sphere of what and who we are. For some people, this search for external happiness manifests as a desire to be someone else entirely. It's not enough to be just an average human being living an average life, so some people go so far as to create alter egos which satisfy their desire to be that which they are not.

I often write about this type of escapism when I write about men who wear lingerie or wear women's clothes. A great deal of these men have created and named female alter egos. These female alter egos will often have personality traits which are completely separate from the man's normal personality. A generally reserved and dominant man may become a sweet bubbly little social butterfly when he puts on his party dress. Not all men who wear women's lingerie feel this way or fall into this category of course, but the phenomenon exists none the less. The question here is, why?

Well, let's look at the phenomenon with a wider lens. Men who wear lingerie and women's clothing aren't the only ones who find happiness in escapist fantasy alter egos. The sky is the limit for this type of behavior, though it is usually only extreme cases which draw attention and comment. For example, there are those who would quite like to be animals and dress up as their favorite animals, prowling around, pouncing on pretend prey and cleaning themselves with their tongues. These people sometimes even have plastic surgery to make them look more like their chosen animal. (Cue: Cat Man.)

On the less extreme end of the spectrum, most of us enjoy escaping our reality now and then by reading books and watching movies. We may not create alter egos, but we nevertheless revel in the idea of being 'more' than what we are. For many of us, what we are is never enough. A niggling sense of dissatisfaction drives us through our days, sometimes inspiring us, sometimes causing us despair.

Spiritual types will tell you that true happiness can only be found 'within'. Unfortunately, finding happiness within isn't what has made man (for better or worse) the dominant species on the planet. Finding happiness within could even be said to go against our very natures. One could argue that it is our continual yearning for something better, something more which has allowed us to see beyond the veil of the sky and to create vast civilizations of beauty and tragedy. (So, suck it, spirtual types.)

We are creatures of fantasy and imagination. It is our imagination which has been the foundation of all our achievements. Sometimes our dreams can be realized, and sometimes they cannot. Of course a man cannot biologically become a woman, nor can he biologically become a tiger. But he can become a police man or a scientist or a great politician. The biological tools which cause us to aspire to certain roles are not limited by something as flimsy as reality. The imagination knows no difference between a policeman and Superman.

The drive that has pushed our species to ever greater heights, which has created great leaders, great inventors, great musicians et al, is the same drive which allows us to find joy in the idea of being a man (if you're a woman), a woman(if you're a man), a vampire, a dolphin, a ninja pirate spy or any other creature or character one might care to think of.

And that's why sometimes a guy will put on a fabulous sequined dress and call himself Jenny.


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    • Hope Alexander profile image

      Hope Alexander 8 years ago

      Hi silkytouch2. I am glad you enjoyed the hub. Keep in mind though, I am but one woman, so as much as I may understand some of the elements of men who wear lingerie, I have never claimed total insight. I would imagine that most, if not all my articles would be wildly innacurate if viewed from alternate perspectives. I agree that the man who wears lingerie to feel feminine or to break a taboo is not doing it for the same reason that a man who really feels himself to be a woman does.

      On the plus side, there is already a great deal of literature out there for transgenderd people, so I don't normally feel too bad for not covering this aspect of the equation in great detail.

      The main reason I began to write these articles was to speak to the moderates of the issue who were often lumped in with those at the extreme ends of the spectrum, unfairly and to their detriment.

    • profile image

      silkytouch2 8 years ago

      I am suprised I missed this article when you first wrote it. It is a little more insightful than many of your articles. While you do not directly say so male lingerie wearing and the satisifactions it brings are motivated by many different factors. While some men want to get in touch with their more feminine oriented feelings, and others use it as transitional obects, much like a child has a snuggy there is in fact a spectrum of cross dressing males driven by very different needs.

      I think you do a great job but sometimes that "monster" in the closet needs a passing mention as does the large number of secret scarred ....don't want to be humiliated panty lovers.

    • hangman1963 profile image

      hangman1963 8 years ago

      Another great article. Thank You.

      Meet Kari Nicole.

    • profile image

      DEKE 8 years ago


    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 8 years ago from Free and running....

      I sometime think I am a golden toad and try to catch flies with my tongue

      cool thoughts