- Gender and Relationships
Being happy being alone.
Being alone in today's world.
Being alone isn't that bad. I mean come on. I'm alone in my room with Pandora on in the background, writing in the dark. Well, not total darkness, thanks for worrying about my eyes though. Some of my best thinking happens when I'm alone. This article isn't just about being alone like by yourself. It's about not having a significant other. It's okay.
Why do people feel the need to always be in a relationship? What's the need we have to fulfill so bad? I'm sure we weren't always like how we are. All these kids these days are going through relationships like water. Heartbreak doesn't feel good. So why do we do it? I don't understand. I don't think I'll ever understand.
I've only ever had one boyfriend. I'm almost 23 years old. Now, I'm not saying not having a boyfriend before then is a bad thing. I just never chose to get one. I had better things to do. School, work, my photography. I sometimes forget that I have a boyfriend honestly, sorry honey. I'm just that use to being alone. I'm not alone in the technical sense of the word, but just by myself and that is okay.
My good friend from middle school just posted this on Facebook along with a picture of her beautiful face. I feel it is so fitting for this article. You don't have to wait years to find love, you just have to wait long enough to know its true.
"Being alone doesn't mean you know nothing about love, it means you know enough to wait for it."
(Thanks for the quote Morgan!)
Being a child who was raised by mainly my mother, I'm sort of sheltered and walled up. I've seen what heart breaks do to my momma. My mother is the most beautiful lady in the world. She's been through hell and back and yet, she still manages to smile. She put herself through college to become a nurse while working and raising my brother and I. I'm going to admit right here, that I was never the easiest child to raise, but she did it. I'm so proud of her for that.
Is having a boyfriend being proud of you more important than your kid? People, you don't have to go looking for recognition from someone else when you have it all in your family.
I feel everyone deserves a chance at a once in a life time relationship. It will happen. Don't go looking for it. Don't date everyone who gives you the time of day. If I had dated everyone who took me out to lunch or dinner, I'd be labeled a "slut". I like food and I like hanging out with people. Hell, if I was to date everyone who gave me the time of day, I'd be in some serious trouble. My best friend of 15 years asked me to go lunch with her the other day. I was in bed sick and couldn't go, so she went without. She told me the next day that she felt like a loser sitting by herself. Don't. Do not ever feel like that. You shouldn't feel like you have to be with someone at all times of the day.
I see pictures on facebook that some of my friends post. I feel like telling them; "You don't need someone to make you happy or feel beautiful. You're already beautiful." Be your own star. Be the best damn star you can be. The Northern Star is the star I always pick out of the sky first. Want to know why? It's big and beautiful. Sure, it's surrounded by millions of stars, but in reality, it isn't. I'm no astronomy major, but I think stars are far away from one another.
Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being defined by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. A variety of biological, psychological, religious and philosophical approaches have striven to define happiness and identify its sources.
It doesn't always need to come from someone else. First, it needs to come from inside. Books make me happy. Pizza makes me so happy all of the time. I don't need books and pizza to make me happy. They just keep me entertained and full. I feel like that's what most relationships are these days. To keep someone entertained until they get bored again then they go looking for another form of entertainment. To be truly happy, is up to you. If being in one solid relationship makes you happy, Great! If being in multiple relationships make you happy, fine.
You have to have happiness inside of you already to be able to bring it out in someone else. Go around with a smile on your face. You'll see how many people smile back. Do one thing of kindness to someone. That guy at the coffee counter who just broke up with his girlfriend, pay for his coffee. Let him know he isn't alone. That poor girl who found out her boyfriend cheated on her, give her a hug and a shoulder to cry on. Maybe it was destined to happen. Maybe, just maybe, the coffee boy and the crying girl will meet up somehow and find their own happiness.
The pictures above need to stop. They have to. Our look on relationships these days are bleak. Everyone thinks someone else is going to break their hearts. Bob down the road thinks Suzy might break his heart so he keeps himself guarded. Suzy can't figure out what is wrong so tension is being created. One day, things blow up. Suzy packs her stuff and leaves. Bob automatically goes, "I was right. Love is hopeless." Suzy is sleeping on her sister's couch that night, crying over a love that was all but perfect. She can't understand why then she realizes, Bob would rather be alone.
Jennifer and Jessie across the way are getting ready for their wedding, both of them looking beautiful. Jessie's cousin Adam is jealous over the girls' relationship. He wants to be with someone too. His sour mood ruins everyone's mood around him. People tend to stay away from negative people. Jessie wishes she could say something to him, but she's too worried it would ruin her wedding night which makes Adam even more jealous.
I wish with all of my heart that people would be okay with being alone. It's fine. All of your worries and woes are going to vanish one day. Someone is going to waltz into your life, take you by the hand and all of those worries are going to go away. It is okay to want a relationship, it is okay to be dating someone you're not sure you're going to marry. It's okay. Just do yourself a favor and don't rush into a relationship. It's been seven months since my boyfriend and I started dating and I'm not rushing anything. Sure, we joke about kids and marriage, but it's mainly stuff like, "Oh, Nicole will probably fall face first into the cake." Or, "I'm going to paint my son's nails pink because I can."
"Find a boy who stares at you like you're the prettiest angel he's eve seen in his life."
You are the prettiest angel. If you think for one second that being with someone is going to make you prettier, no. It won't. Being yourself will and to find out who you are, sometimes you need to be alone. You don't always need that recognition from a boyfriend or girlfriend. Sometimes, the only recognition you need is from yourself. You get out there and rock that sexy black dress. I don't care if you think you look like a whale. You need to love yourself and be confident with it. Your girlfriends are going to be blown away that you are even wearing that dress. "It looks great!" "Oh wow, Janie! You're smoking!" You're going to eventually start thinking, "yeah. I am smoking. I don't need someone else to tell me that." Be your own angel.