Best Long Distance Relationship Songs for Him and Her

The best songs to send to your lover in a long-distance relationship are probably not the same songs you play for yourself and sing along to.

Your situation, your emotions, your response to lyrics and music, and the way you react to any particular song will not be the same as your absent lover. You need to appreciate the differences and choose songs appropriately if you hope to strengthen your bond.

Before you send your absent lover lengthy playlists of soppy love songs, consider the pros and cons. Choosing the wrong songs in a long distance relationship can cause more harm than good. So how do you choose the best songs to share with your distant girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife or partner?

Let's work through some of the reasons why couples are kept apart - and why some songs are better than others.

You are just beginning a new relationship with someone who seems perfect when they (or you) must leave to go to college, university, a new job or perhaps just go home to their house far away.

It is too early to tell if they're feeling the same love, but you want to let them know you certainly have feelings - and perhaps you're even willing to drop everything and follow them if they'd just ask.

Carole King wrote the perfect song for this exact situation.

Called You've Got a Friend", the chorus goes ...

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running, to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there
You've got a friend.

The advantage to this particular song is it invites further contact and positions you as a nice, kind, loving person - without promising too much.

If you are a man looking for a romantic song to cement your long-distance relationship, you can't go past The Proclaimers' beautiful I'm Gonna Be (aka 500 Miles). Send this song to your lover.

When I'm lonely, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's lonely without you.
When I'm dreaming, well I know I'm gonna dream
I'm gonna dream about the time when I'm with you.
When I go out (when I go out), well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you.
And when I come home, (when I come home, )
Yeah I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who comes back home with you
I'm gonna be the man who's coming home with you.

This song presses every emotional button, and ticks every box on a woman's wishlist. It was a stroke of genius to include the line 'the man who comes back home with you'. Note that it doesn't say 'comes back home TO you', which could indicate you might be a bit of a roamer. Nope, the message is very clear that when you are together you are going out together ... and coming home together. Now that's a winner of a song. :)

The chorus, too, is exceptionally romantic.

But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles
To fall down at your door.

This is a perfect song for both him and her. (Although I'm not sure a woman should be sending it to her boyfriend. There's a danger she might seem a little pushy ... given the power of sexual stereotyping.)

What I mean by it being the perfect song for both genders is that the CD is just as useful in the stereo in his car as it is in hers. Imagine if you will, driving along (by yourself in your car) with the volume cranked up and I'm Gonna Be blaring.

A married or long-term couple temporarily separated by work demands or other circumstances has a distinct advantage over others in long-distance relationships. You should be well aware of what kind of music tickles your partner's fancy.

Perhaps you have a shared favorite song you can send.

I would certainly advise against sending a song that appeals to you if it is from a genre your husband or wife really doesn't enjoy.

For instance, if your lover hates country music, there's no point sending John Denver's Country Roads song - but if you live on a farm and you want to give your other half an extra dose of home-sickness, it might just be perfect. :)

If you already consider your partner to be your other half, the best song choice to send across the miles is going to be something that reminds your missing spouse of your strengths. Choose a song that reminds your lover of you, and home, and all the good things that are waiting.

In some circumstances, the best song will be one that reassures your partner that you are strong and coping.

Any song choice you send to your partner is delivered with a package of innuendo.

Some songs present a black and white message, while others can leave many questions unanswered. A lot of confusion is created when a song that seems quite clear in its message could be interpreted in different ways.

Let's take another of Carole King's songs as an example. (You might recognize it as the intro song on tv's The Gilmore Girls.)

Sending Where You Lead to an absent partner would seem, on the surface, to be a statement of undying love and a commitment to doing whatever it takes to stay together.

Where you lead, I will follow
Anywhere that you tell me to
If you need, you need me to be with you
I will follow where you lead

I know of one relationship, however, that bit the dust not long after this song was played in a dedication on a late-night radio show. I didn't hear the song go to air, but it was a topic of conversation for the next week among my friends.

As difficult as it may seem, before you identify any song as being appropriate for your situation it is a good idea to ask yourself if your long distance lover will agree.

Carole King's song Where You Lead was dedicated to a man we knew by a woman he'd met while on holidays in a distant city. They were getting on great and he was actually missing her and weighing up his options when she phoned in her song request to a late-night national radio program - mentioning them both by name.

He suddenly switched from looking for ways for them to be together, to being resolute that the relationship simply wouldn't work.

The killer was this line ...

I always wanted a real home with flowers on the windowsill
But if you want to live in New York City, honey, you know I will.

To my mind, that line just reinforces commitment. A simple illustration of how much the person wants the relationship to work.

To the man on the receiving end of the song, however, it represented everything that could go wrong - and probably would. It put extraordinary pressure on him. He couldn't let go of the fact that they both came from different parts of the country leading completely different lives, and that one of them would have to give up their vision of the future and settle for a lifestyle they'd find alien and uncomfortable.

When one of our friends pointed out that his girlfriend didn't write the song, and perhaps she just wanted him to focus on the chorus, he dug his heels in. Their long-distance relationship came to an abrupt end, as did any hope of them getting any closer.

I suspect that what he was hearing wasn't what she was meaning, but I've never met the woman so I'll never know. It seems a shame to have to 'over-think' a love song, but in those vulnerable months or years when you are separated from your lover, it might be worth the effort.

I hope you'll never need it, but here is the absolute best song of all time if your long distance relationship fails and you're left feeling heartbroken. (In fact, its the best song after any relationship break down.)

Dr Hook's song Better Love Next Time has soothed many a broken heart.

You'll find better love next time baby
Don't give up and I know you're gonna find
Better love next time baby
Someone will be waiting down the line
With better love, better love, better love
Better love next time.

We can do our best to maintain any relationship and try hard to make it grow and strengthen, but sometimes fate is against us.

Long distance relationships don't always work. If getting together and sharing a life isn't an option, you'll be looking for better love next time. Don't give up!

Meanwhile, give your LDR your best shot. Many of us have begun relationships with the obstacle of distance, and ended up living together happily ever after.

Choose your songs wisely. Good luck. :)