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Biblical Marriages, Marriages of These Days and Rebellious Children
I thought of writing this hub about marriages after reading the Holy Bible. On this hub, I have not discussed all the marriages but just a few so as not to keep this hub too long. The words on this hub are of my own views as per my understanding of the references I have made to the Holy Bible. Therefore you can differ with my opinions.
I find the Holy Bible to be such a unique book, it literally enlightens me why things happen the way they do. What is happening these days had already happened in the ancient times and as such there is nothing new under the sun other than revised versions (tweak of ancient events) of what had already happened. King Solomon being the wisest man acknowledged this in the book of Ecclesiastes 1:9-10 "What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done; there is nothing new under the sun. 10 Is there a thing of which it is said, 'See, this is new'? It has already been, in the ages before us."
Have you ever contemplated of analyzing marriages that are in the Bible? How was the first marriage in the Bible like? What about the second marriage, third, fourth, fifth and so on?
The First Marriage–Adam and Eve
The first marriage was between Adam and Eve. I will not be wrong to assert that Adam and Eve are our first parents (that is if your faith is Christianity), right? Were there any legal formalities followed in the first marriage? Who presided over this marriage? It is God who arranged this marriage.
I am not really certain if there was a wedding ceremony or any formalities followed because the Holy Bible did not expound anything beyond this verse, Genesis 2:18-22 "Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner.' 22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man."
Marriage between Adam and Eve was without shame at first. They had nothing to hide from one another since they were both naked and were not ashamed of their bodies. However, something happened with them that changed their lives completely. They disobeyed God. How did this happen? As per my view, Eve was curious and due to her curiosity she walked away from Adam. The serpent realizing that Eve was alone, it considered it as a good opportunity to deceive her. The serpent being the craftiest animal in the Garden of Eden, it made Eve believe what was not right regarding the tree that was in the middle of the Garden of Eden. She ate its fruit thus disobeying God.
I wish God could have intervened to protect Adam from being influenced by Eve. Unfortunately, God did not intervene and so Adam also ate some fruits that Eve gave him. It is only after Adam eating the fruit given to him by Eve that they both realized they've been walking naked all along. They were ashamed of one another something of which they were never ashamed of before.
The first marriage began its trouble after the serpent deceiving Eve and Eve giving Adam the fruit of the forbidden tree to eat. Eve did not save Adam from eating the forbidden fruit. She made him eat it by taking some fruits of the forbidden tree to him. God cursed them therefore their marriage was troubled. Genesis 3:16 "to the woman He said: I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you."
Man was not spared either by God for heeding the voice of his wife Eve. He had to toil in order to eat all the days of his life. This means that Adam had to struggle to provide for his family but God had cursed the ground.
This brings me to imagine that there are times Adam could toil but end up barely having enough food to feed his family.
It is in the first marriage that the first death occurred through murder. It was a brother killing his own brother. Cain was jealous of Abel's blessing from God.
From this marriage, we realize that the first marriage had troubles, Adam and Eve disobeyed God and they were cursed. A brother hating his own a brother due to jealous, Abel was blessed more than Cain by God. Till today the human race is experiencing the curse of Adam and Eve.
Marriage Between Isaac and Rebekah
How was the marriage between Isaac and Rebekah like? Isaac and Rebekah had two sons namely, Esau and Jacob. The marriage between Isaac and Rebekah had parental love challenge. There was no equity of parental love towards their two sons. Isaac loved Esau while Rebekah loved Jacob.
Was Rebekah trustful to her husband Isaac? If Rebekah was trustful to Isaac she could have not told Jacob to pretend to be Esau so as to be blessed by Isaac. She deceived Isaac. After Esau learning that Jacob had taken his blessings, he hated him and even had contemplated killing Jacob. Luckily, Esau did not kill Jacob because Jacob fled to his Uncle Laban.
Jacob married and had twelve sons but he did not love them uniformly as a parent. He favored Joseph something that made his brothers want to kill him. They ended up selling Joseph to Egypt as a slave.
Joseph married Asenath and they were blessed with two sons, Manasseh and Ephraim. Joseph favored Manasseh than Ephraim; we realize this when Jacob wants to bless Ephraim but Joseph removes Jacob's hand from Ephraim to Manasseh. Genesis 48:17 "When Joseph saw that his father laid his right hand on the head of Ephraim, it displeased him; so he took his father's hand, to remove it from Ephraim's head to Manasseh’s head." Jacob however noticed Joseph's intentions and informed him that he knew.
From this marriage, we realize differences in preferences of children among parents. The imbalance in favoritism leads some of the families to be apart like the family of Isaac. It creates discomfort among children to a level of hating one another.
Marriage Of Potiphar
Potiphar's wife was unfaithful to her husband. She wanted to commit adultery with Joseph but Joseph refused. He knew it was wrong to lie with his master's wife and so he fled. Potiphar's wife falsely accused Joseph. Potiphar believed the false accusation and Joseph ended up paying for the crime he never committed.
Potiphar's wife accused Joseph falsely. She covered up her adultery intentions. There are people like Joseph who are faithful. They know that adultery is wrong in a marriage.
King David's Polygamous Marriage
David did not marry one wife. He had many wives including Ahinoam, Abigail, Maacah, Haggith, Abital, Eglah (1Samuel 25:43-44 and 2Samuel 3:2-5) and other concubines that he took while in Jerusalem.
King David committed adultery with Bathsheba the wife of Uriah (2Samuel 11). It is idleness that made David to commit adultery. David had a challenge of parenting. Amnon whose mother was Ahinoam of Jezreel committed incest. He fell in love with his own step sister Tamar, the sister of Absalom. Tamar was beautiful and this tormented Amnon. David knew what Amnon had done to her step sister, he became angry. However, David did not punish him for the reason that he was his own son and he loved him since Amnon was his firstborn son. Absalom hated Amnon for raping his own sister and due to this hatred he planned the killing of Amnon (read 2Samuel 13).
King David's two sons rebelled against him. His son Adonijah whose mother was Haggith rebelled. His son Absolom whose mother was Maacah rebelled also.
From this marriage, David committed adultery with Bathsheba the wife of Uriah due to idleness. We learn about rebellious children i.e. Adonijah and Absolom. There is incest i.e. Amnon raping Tamar, something that is shameful in the family of King David. David failed to punish Amnon as a parent.
Hosea's Marriage to Unfaithful Gomer
Hosea being the prophet of God married Gomer. It was God who told him to marry Gomer despite her being a harlot. She was not a faithful wife. Although the Holy Bible does not state this directly but it gives us a clue of Gomer's unfaithfulness to Hosea when it explains God's relationship with his unfaithful wife Israel, and that of Hosea’s relationship with his unfaithful wife Gomer. Hosea 2:2 "Plead with your mother, plead—for she is not my wife, and I am not her husband—that she put away her whoring from her face, and her adultery from between her breasts."
From this marriage, although the marriage between Hosea and Gomer is symbolic, we realize that Hosea was faithful to his wife but his wife was unfaithful. Hosea loved his wife. Despite Gomer being unfaithful to Hosea and having illegitimate children except the first child, Hosea forgave her. Eventually Gomer changed her unfaithful ways by becoming a faithful wife. Hosea never rejected illegitimate children but took care of them because he knew they were innocent.
Marriages of These Days
Nowadays there is a lot that is said about marriages. You may be asking yourself this question, are marriages of these days different from the ones that we read in the Bible?
I am not an expert to discuss marriage issues in details and thereafter give advice but I learn by observing what is happening around me and by reading articles and books. It is by observing that I am able to related Biblical marriages with marriages of these days.
There are some ongoing arguments that marriages of these days do not last while others disagree about this. It is a contentious topic, is it?
Some of the marriages of these days encounter the problem of rebellious children. Apart from lack of attention from parents, there are other reasons that lead children (especially teenage children) to rebel against their parents.
Bear in mind that rebellious children may not be necessarily as a result of poor parenting but due to other reasons. Parents should seek the guidance of God. As a parent you should always pray for your children not to rebel.
Favoritism of Children
Parents have the responsibility of loving their children equally without showing any favoritism to any kid. Parents should not cause any discomfort in the family brought about by loving one kid more than the rest or the mother loving one child while the father loves the other child. Some of the marriages of these days like the Biblical marriage of Isaac and Rebekah are troubled when parents have differences in loving their children. These may cause children to hate one another thus tearing the family apart.
Some of the marriages of these days face the problem of infidelity/adultery. There are husbands and wives who engage in extra marital affairs just like King David and Gomer.
What makes men cheat on their wives and women to cheat on their husbands? Infidelity is brought about by many factors including lack of fulfillment in marriage, idleness etc. You have already come across this adage, "An idle mind is the devil’s workshop."
There are claims from scientists that adultery/infidelity is genetic and therefore married couples with adultery gene (having a genetic variation of DRD4 termed as 7R+) can't help it when it comes to engaging in extra marital affairs.
"What we found was that individuals with a certain variant of the DRD4 gene were more likely to have a history of uncommitted sex, including one-night stands and acts of infidelity~By Justin Garcia of State University of New York in Binghamton."
Independence of Women
Some people say that marriages of these days are at threat since women are more capable and independent. Some women have gone as far as saying that they do not need a man. According to them marriage is a trap to their freedom. Therefore they do not see any need of getting married. They'll only need a man for procreation purpose (which is better termed as a sperm donor) with no strings attached. You'll agree with me that the number of single moms aged between 25 and 45 is high compared to the women who are married.
Here is an extract from an article I came across, "Women today are more capable and independent, says Harley Street chartered psychologist Susan Firth. 'If there is a gap in their life, they don’t want to fill it with a relationship,' she explains. 'They fill it with other things, such as exciting hobbies or spending time with friends. They build an emotional support system and they know who to identify for different issues; the friend who is good with work dilemmas, the sister to turn to over emotional issues. As a result, these women don't feel they need a man, other than maybe for occasional fun dates.'
Some women who were raised by single moms do not see any need of having a man (husband). This is because they have grown all along with their moms who are single and therefore they have learned that they can live independently without a man.
However, this does not imply in general that women who are capable and independent do not need a man around. There are capable and independent women who are in stable marriage relationship with their husbands. They know the importance of marriage in their lives and the importance of them having a husband who is also a father to their children. Their capability and independence does not affect their marriage relationship.
Bachelors have their own reasons. Some of the reason including previous disappointments from their girlfriends, failed marriage, lifestyle they want to maintain, financial reasons and many more reasons. Just ask them and they'll tell you why they're still bachelors :).
Lastly, I leave you with this verse Romans 7:15 "I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.7 But in fact it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me."
Did I miss any point that you would like to add? I welcome your contribution in the comments section below.