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A Tethered Soul

Updated on January 19, 2017

A Tethered Soul

The definition of tethered is: tie with a rope or a chain, to restrict its movement. When you are a product of childhood abuse, your soul feels tethered. Although you are now an adult you have this feeling that something is still binding you or restricting your movement. Restricting you from becoming who you were meant to be and keeping you tied down with fear. If you are someone who has experienced childhood traumas and you are alive today, I think these experiences were meant for you to become an advocate, voice and an inspiration to the broken. When you have been broken but you had the courage, strength, will and determination to heal. It becomes your mission to inspire others not only with your voice but with your life. You can boldly yet humbly say: “if it was not for my faith and trust in my divine God, I may not be here today to tell my story, to share my pain and to make a difference in the lives of others.” When we have the courage to heal, the generations after us will heal, and this is the inheritance we leave for our children’s children.

When you are an adult who has experienced some sort of abuse or neglect in your childhood, this is the only definition of love you can glean from. When our parents inflict this abuse upon us, or they allow someone else to do it, our minds perceive this as love. As we grow older we think this behavior is acceptable, because our parents loved us, right? When we enter a romantic relationship with another individual we equate neglect and abuse for love, because this is what we received as a child. If this has been our only experience with love, how do we know the difference when we receive a healthy love? We don’t know the difference, because this is something we have never experienced. We begin to self-sabotage and reject this form of love, because this love feels foreign to us. We want to receive and experience this type of love, but our tethered soul is fearful and wants the love which it is accustomed to. That is until we begin to heal our tethered soul by going on our self-care and self-love journey. Once your tethered soul is healed, it is unleashed and free to receive the love it has been missing and craving.

Help Don't Hurt

A Wounded Dog

A person with a tethered soul is like a wounded dog, because a wounded dog has also been abused and neglected. It is accustomed to its owners inflicting abuse upon it, and whether this dog has been in one household or numerous households, they are afraid of really loving their owners because they fear abuse. They want to get close and want to love, but because of their previous experiences, they are fearful and afraid to trust. When they are placed in the home of a loving owner, they want to love the owner with all their heart, but they tend to pull away because they have never experienced a love of this magnitude. They may come close and you love on them, and then they run away again, or go off on their own away from the loving owner. The owner will sometimes become frustrated and give the dog away, because they are not sure if the dog will ever receive their love. But sometimes, that wounded dog will be placed in the home of an owner who has patience, strength and who’s love is so grand, they wait on the wounded dog to come to them. They love on the wounded dog when it comes close and they love on the wounded dog when it runs away. Eventually the wounded dog will begin to trust the new owner and they become the best of friends and love each other equally.

If you are someone who has suffered from childhood abuse and neglect, then you are like this wounded dog and your soul is tethered. The only way we can unleash and free our tethered soul is when we practice self-love and self-care, because when a partner arrives into our lives who is healthy we want to be healthy too. When we are healthy we love, we trust, we are there for them and we accept them as they are. Sometimes when we are healthy we have this savior mentality and want to help and save everyone, but the best thing we can is loving them from a distance and being an example. If a healthy person wants to help others I would recommend reaching out in the community to be a mentor and be a voice in your community. We all have our own journey’s and while we can inspire others, we cannot save, heal or save anyone else, they must want and desire to do this on their own and in their own time.

Bird Set Free

I was a tethered soul who stayed in an emotionally abusive relationship for 20 years, because abuse was all I was accustomed to. I made a choice to get myself healthy and practice self-care and self-love, because going forward I desire a healthy partnership. I also want to inspire others to do the same, because the more unleashed and freed souls we have in this world, the healthier our world will be. I am not sure if the artist Sia came from an abusive background, but her song Bird Set Free is my anchor song, because I am that bird that set herself free. I set myself free from addictions and from an emotionally abusive relationship and every time I hear that song, it brings tears to my eyes. I had lost my voice, but there was a scream on the inside of me that was not about to die. That scream contained my life, my visions and my dreams inside of it. I have a purpose and I was not ready to die, I have two beautiful children that I want to inspire and live for. I want them to see what a healthy relationship looks like with yourself and with others so they can have healthy relationships in their lives. This is the inheritance I want to leave to my children’s children. I want all generations after me to be unleashed and free souls, and not tethered souls.

If you or someone you know is being abused, please contact The National Domestic Violence Hotline by clicking on the link below. They will be able to connect you with a local abuse facility who can help you obtain emergency protection orders and they also offer counseling for those who have been abused. Together we can stop abuse.

Emotional Abuse


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