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Black Men

Updated on January 25, 2012

Dysfunction Black Men

Perception of Black Men – Curious To Know Your Thoughts

(Disclaimer – this does not apply to everyone or the talented ten. I just wonder about the majority.)

A friend and I were discussing a theory regarding black men. We were discussing how many men chase after women who are cold, mean, controlling, gold-digging, manipulative, and have no love for them. We were trying to figure out why, more than any other race, they seek these dysfunctional relationships. We began discussing the cold/mean-spirited/ghetto type mother which displayed that love hurts.

You know those mothers who:

(1) Constantly talked down to their children.

(2) Frequently yelled at their children – “Come here! Give me that! Sit down! – so loud you wanted to turn around and say…don’t talk to him like that

(3) Beaten/Disciplined all the time mostly to express the mothers frustration

(4) Blamed for looking and acting just like “your daddy”

(5) Never showing kindness, love, and attention

(6) Not supported or encouraged to achieve in life

(7) Unstable household environments

(8) Screaming at them all the time

The effect – men who (no matter what their achievement) seek these unhealthy relationships pursuing those who show them no love and display the most selfish behavior. They are addicted to evil women because they represent the sort of cold and sadistic love they experienced as a child. I observe people quite often and it cracks me up to see men go broke while being played like fools trying to be with women who care nothing for them other than what they can hustle from them. What’s even sadder is that I see “good women” who can’t relate to those who need to be used and abused in their relationships so they stay single often for years.

Although I know all people have issues, this behavior seems to be so prominent amongst African American men. I often want to ask – do you love yourself? Don’t you think it’s sick to be addicted to being used rather than addicted to “healthy relationships”? What are your thoughts?


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    • annaliese2005 profile image


      6 years ago from Colorado

      Hello realtalk. I enjoyed reading this blog because it really got me thinking about this issue. I often see news about another footballer, basketball star or what have you, going broke over some woman or cheating on his wife or whatever. It is indeed a devastating and sad phenomenon... Concerning whether it occurs too often in the African American male demographic, I definitely have observed this. Do you think it might also have a lot to do with negative perception of African American females that have led to this? Also history might speak to this as well. I think there are a lot of issues that have led to this and it is up to the individual to "right the wrong"...


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