- Gender and Relationships»
- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
I never saw it coming! I was totally oblivious to the grandiosity of the situation. Most times, I am a care-free spirited woman, optimistic yet cautious. Even with my self-proclaimed paranoia, I still could not have prepared myself for this! The term young people would use today is ‘lacking’. I got caught lacking! A beautiful man came into my life and made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world! He motivated me in more ways than one and I instantly fell in love. Funny thing about love. That wench is an idiot! Who told my heart it could love a man so soon? Who said I was ready to be involved with this capacity of a man? I thought I could handle him, his dangerous side gave me chills but it never occurred to me that it could be used against me. His dangerous nature actually intrigued me, I wanted to know more about his soul. I wanted to be close to him. I knew the route was rugged, I knew it was a perilous path…and my happy go luck ass ran into the woods with him anyway.
Once on this dark path with this mysterious man for some time, I could no longer find him. He literally disappeared in the darkness. I could hear his voice calling out to me, I could feel his hands grazing my skin, but I could not see him. I went to embrace him for a hug, but found nothing but thin air. Although I could hear him calling for me, when I spoke his name, the darkness only offered silence. You would think being a cautious paranoid woman I would have taken the hint that I did not belong on this side of town. He encouraged me to be brave, and ushered me deeper into the darkness. I felt around to make my way to the sound of his voice, completely blind. Only anxious to be in his arms again, I would have traveled even further had I not heard his once calm and smooth voice turn into a savage growl!
What the hell? I stopped moving forward but he demanded that I come to him, and quick. The rage in his voice frightened me, but I was supposed to trust him right? What could possibly go wrong in the darkness with no one around to save me? No one knew I was here and no one would be able to come to rescue me out of this dark and cold environment. How foolish had I been to wander off like this. His voice became irate with the days and his mood changed often, I can’t lie I was downright afraid of him! This man could do anything to me here in the darkness, & I didn’t bring any protection. I fished around for my pocket knife and didn’t have it, I didn’t think I would need it.
Weak and ready to go home, I told him I couldn’t stay here in the darkness with him if he continued to speak to me in that tone. He laughed and said I now belonged to him. Oh hell no! Not me, I don’t belong to anyone but the good Lord himself. I didn’t like how sinister he sounded. I didn’t like the undertone ‘tricked ya’ persona he was giving off. What happened to the man I took a walk in the woods with? Disgusted, weak, and tired of playing in the dark I told him I was going home, and there was nothing he could do about it. I heard his footsteps quicken towards my direction, and of course I ran for my life! I ran and ran and ran, but I had no idea in which direction I was headed. I remember people would say go towards the light, and that’s what I tried to do. Only there was no light, only darkness and his footsteps were getting closer. Where do you think you’re going? He snarled. I’m getting out of here! There is no light, I cannot see, and I do not like the way you are speaking to me!
The moment I stopped to respond, I felt his presence before me. I could smell him, he smelled so good. I could see his eyes; they were hypnotizing…even in the dark I could feel his eyes piercing me. I wanted him. He knew what his presence did to me, he knew once he had me on his territory it would be hard for me to escape. I only had a bit of sense left when it came to this man. I most certainly had to use it if I even wanted to see the day of light again. I mustered up my strength and used the wits I was born with. I only want to see you, is that too much to ask? He answered and said, if you want to see me you have to follow me. There was no way I was traveling back with him on this dark and unwelcoming path. As soon as he turned his back to lead me, I turned and ran again. This time faster and with a prayer on my lips. He was a friendly monster, the kind that would offer a kid some candy to get them in the car. A beautiful man that would attract even the most elite of women. I had no business here and I didn’t enjoy traveling blind. Dear God, I panted between breaths. Help me find my way.
I didn’t hear him chasing me, I only heard his sadistic laughter ringing out through the darkness. I continued to run and I finally saw it. I saw the light!!! If you ever seen a sprinter in action that was me, headed towards freedom and excited to be blessed with the light. No one knew I was here, and no one would come looking for me. Forget being friends, he was not a real friend. He was dangerous. How dangerous I didn’t know until I was almost to my freedom. Blind Sided, he knocked me out cold and dragged my lifeless body back into the darkness. No, I shook my head no! He was strong, I couldn’t speak. My throat was dry, and I still could not see anything! I stopped fighting. I just let go and accepted my fate. I was the one who waltzed my happy go lucky ass in here with him, and here I would remain until he was finished with me. I will always regret the day I told him yes. I regret the day I was captivated by his contagious smile, and beautiful eyes. The man I loved had fooled me something good! His outer appearance seemed honest and true, but I paid little attention to the potential of a blind-side. The darkness was his natural habitat. I had always been a woman of light. All that had changed now. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and now years that I was forced to live in darkness. Blind-sided by beautiful eyes and a devilish grin, oh what a predicament I had found myself in…
To be continued