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Body Language of Attraction

Updated on January 7, 2013
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I find body language very interesting. If you are paying attention you can pick up on a lot of clues about how people are feeling.

Before You Even Meet

It is often thought that men usually make the first move. While they are often the ones that do the approaching and first say hello it is actually the women that usually make the first move.Women make the first move with flirtatious eye contact and smiles. Men usually do not approach women until they receive eye contact and a smile to indicate that the women is ready to be approached.

Here are some ways that our bodies show attraction:

How to Tell if Someone is Attracted to You by Their Eyes


  • Eyes dilate when we are stimulated and in a problem solving mode. This happens to both men and woman. Dialation means that the black circle in the middle of the eye gets larger.
  • Eyebrow raises signal that I am not threatening.
  • If a person's eyes are darting around they are either bored or nervous.
  • To generate a strong rapport the first time you meet someone you should look them in the eyes 60 to 70% of the time.

How to Tell if Someone is Attracted to You by Their Face

Did you know?

  • It takes between ninety seconds and four minutes for someone to realize that your flirting with them.
  • We pick up on flirting in three ways: 55% through body language, 38% through tone of voice, and 7% by what we say.
  • A man is much more likely to approach a women after she has made eye contact with him.
  • A man finds a woman who is smiling at him more attractive than a woman who is not.


  • Genuine smiles indicate interest. You can check to see if a smile is sincere by looking for wrinkles around the eyes. Crinkling at the outer edges of the eyes, sometimes referred to as crows feet, as well as crinkling under the eye indicate that it is a sincere smile.
  • A smile where the head is turned down but the eyes are upward indicates attraction.
  • Smiling people are more persuasive than people who are not smiling and more likely to get the date, the phone number, the kiss, or all three.


  • If a person is being open and honest they may display their palms.

Legs & Feet

  • Legs and feet turn toward what they are interested in.
  • If legs are cross the knee will point toward who or what you are interested in. Who being the person you are interested in or what being the door or escape if you want to get away.
  • If a person's legs and arms and both crossed at the same time you should not ask them to make a decision, like if they want to go on a date. Wait until they have uncrossed themselves and they will be more open.

How to Tell if Someone is Attracted to You by Their Body Language


  • If someone is leaning towards you or tilting their head in to speak with you, this indicates interest. If they are leaning their body away from you this indicates that they are not interested.


  • Laughing is very attractive and makes people feel comfortable.

Examples of Closed Body Language

Not Attracted

If someone is not attracted to you, they will not show the attraction signs. They will treat you the same as everyone else. If they treat you differently than everyone else and show you the nonverbal signs of attraction, then they are attracted to you.

Creating Barriers

  • People create barriers to protect themselves. A women might place her purse between herself and the person she is talking to in order to create a barrier.
  • If someone has a cup but places it opposite the hand that they are drinking with they are creating a barrier. For instance, I am right handed. I drink using my right hand. But, if I place the cup to my left I have to reach across my body continually to pick up my drink. This creates a barrier.

I hope that learning about these cues will help you to better recognize when someone is attracted to you but also help you better indicate attraction to whomever you are interested in.


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    • Joel Okimoto profile image

      Kai Morris 4 years ago from London

      This is a very interesting hub, I thought I knew quite a lot about body language but I learned some new stuff here (such as about creating barriers).

    • HaileyAdams profile image

      Hailey 4 years ago

      Beautiful hub, excellent advice and interesting. You are welcome to read my hub on similar subject "Flirting tips for men and for women ", will be glad to read a comment from you.

    • idigwebsites profile image

      idigwebsites 5 years ago from United States

      My eyes tend to widen whenever I talk to my boyfriend. I thought this is just me, but through this hub it made me realize that it's a natural reaction -- it means that I'm still attracted to him after all these years. Thanks for posting!

    • beibe profile image

      beibe 5 years ago

      Hello Knmberly, I found this article remarkable! I never really paid attention to body language, on a consious level anyway. Very helpful, and I will be following you for more great hubs. Beibe

    • Kimberly Vaughn profile image

      Kimberly Vaughn 5 years ago from Midwest

      Thanks Nikko! I'm glad you liked it!

    • Nikk0 profile image

      Nikk0 5 years ago

      Hi Kimberly! Great article - and what a great read on Valentine's Day. It's amazing how the simplest thing like a head tilt or eye contact can say so much. Looking forward to reading more of your hubs. x Nikko

    • Kimberly Vaughn profile image

      Kimberly Vaughn 5 years ago from Midwest

      Thanks shiningirisheyes! I find myself thinking about body language everwhere I go.

    • Kimberly Vaughn profile image

      Kimberly Vaughn 5 years ago from Midwest

      I found that interesting too! I have read that centuries ago, prostitutes put drops of belladonna, a tincture containing atropine, into their eyes to dilate their Pupils and to make themselves appear more appealing.

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 5 years ago from Upstate, New York

      I so enjoyed your article. I always found the study of body language fascinating, as it is usually right on the money. I became interested when watching interviews with criminal situations. It is truly amazing the telltale signs of a lie or deceit as well.

    • innerspin profile image

      Kim Kennedy 5 years ago from uk

      I enjoyed reading this, body language is fascinating - something that's missing from online interaction, which can lead to misunderstandings. The dilated pupils made me laugh, I had to have dilating drops for an eye exam, ended up looking like an owl......hubby loved it!


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