- Gender and Relationships»
- Advice & Tips for Men in Relationships
Boy vs. Man
The differences between a boy and a man are like night and day.
One of my previous hubs is called Girl vs Woman, and I got to thinking how so many males also have the misconception of what the difference between a boy and a man are as well. The below are just my own observations, as well as having been inspired by numerous conversations with a group of friends, both male and female.
A boy thinks that just because he has given sexual gratification to a female, that he has made her feel like a “real” woman and she is obligated to him for doing so.
A man knows that sexual gratification is not how a woman is made to feel like a “real” woman. A man knows that he has nothing to do with making a woman feel like a woman, that it is something that comes from within her.
A boy thinks that he is the source of a woman’s worth, and by his allowing her to do things for herself, and his providing these things for her makes him a man.
A man knows that a woman’s worth does not come from him, it comes from herself, and will treat her with the respect she deserves because of who she is, not what he gives to her.
A boy thinks that he’s a man just because he has fathered a child, and that’s all he has to do. A boy would sacrifice his children to be with someone else if the choice of the other person or their children is given.
A man knows that there is more to fathering a child and will be there for his child or children just as much as a mother. A man will even leave a second relationship when the choice is given it’s either them or your children.
A boy thinks that because he may be more intelligent than some, he will reject that someone may know as much as or more than him on various topics, he doesn’t have to listen to what is being said by others.
A man knows that because he may be more intelligent than some, he may not have the knowledge on every topic, and will listen when someone else has a knowledge base that he doesn’t, and will take into account what is being said.
When a heartbreak happens, a boy blames the other person, and will get angry when his part is mentioned because even if he says he sees his part, however he really doesn’t, and can’t understand why the other person is still hurting. A boy thinks that he then has a right to belittle and demean the other person, and spread gossip about the other person.
When a heartbreak happens, a man will accept his part in it, not get angry when his part was mentioned, will accept the hurt from the other person, and knows that it will take time for the other person to heal. A man knows that he will not say anything derogatory about the other person to others, because he doesn’t want to burn a bridge to someone he once cared about deeply.
For attention a boy will brag about his bedroom conquests whether real or not. To gain notoriety, the impression he’s a ladies man, and will make up stories and be loud and obnoxious about who he’s been with.
For attention, a man will be himself and talk about other things. A man doesn’t need to brag about bedroom conquests, because those he would like to be interested in him are because the others know he won’t brag, and they won’t become the fodder for gossip mongers.
A boy thinks that cheating is alright so long as he doesn’t get caught, this is done because he isn’t happy with himself, or the person he’s with, but doesn’t have the courage to get out of the relationship and find those who are more conducive to his way of thinking with the bottom line being that he doesn’t respect himself or anyone else.
A man knows that cheating is never alright, no matter how unhappy or what the reason is. A man will get out of the current relationship before starting another relationship, and a man will be completely honest with the partner he is with because he not only has respect for the other person but for himself as well.
A boy has no qualms about getting assistance from his friends and family without attempting to give back to those who are so generously helping him. When things aren’t going his way, he will go behind the backs those who are helping him and will complain and make himself look like the victim, and will basically bite the hand or hands that are feeding him. Along these same lines, a boy has no qualms using the means of one person to get closer to another, and then start using that person as well.
A man is very reluctant to get assistance from friends and family, but will work his hardest to give back in whatever way he can, and even going above and beyond what is necessary, just so those who are helping him know how appreciative he is of their assistance. When there are problems, a man will not malign the ones helping him behind their backs because he knows that if it weren’t for those helping him, his situation would be much worse. A man will not use another to get closer to someone else just because he thinks the grass is greener.
As with my article “Girl vs. Woman”, I could go on and on. But basically the points are made by the examples given. I’ve known very few men in my life. But those that I have known, give me hope every day, that there are still good men left in the world. These men lead by their examples, and show there’s more to being a man than just being concerned with their own needs. These men know that their actions affect those around them, and that their actions and their words can hurt those they say they care about.
Two of the best men I have ever known, are now guardian angels for those they cared about. Being a man is more than a paycheck, it’s more than being a certain age, and just because a man says he is more evolved, or says he treats people better than other men do, there must be actions to back up the words. If the actions aren’t there, then the male falls back into the boy category, in my humble opinion. Because a man backs up his words with actions that match the words, plain and simple.
Again this article was inspired by my personal experiences and by conversations I’ve had, not only with other females, but with males as well.
Let me know your thoughts as well.