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Breaking Up Tips & Advice: How to Break Up With Your Girlfriend or Boyfriend

Updated on May 6, 2011

A guide to tactfully ending your relationship

If you're reading this article, chances are, you're not in a happy relationship. Breaking up with someone that you've been seeing for a while can be difficult; especially if you truly respect that person. We've all been in relationships where we like the other person, but the love that once existed has either dissipated or wasn't truly there in the first place and we no longer to continue dating this person. On the other hand, if you can't stand the person, you shouldn't have that hard a time breaking up with your significant other. This article is written for those who are feeling that the relationship is over, but still truly respect and care for the other person. If you're reading this article, chances are that ending the relationship with limited hurt on either side is important to you.

There are many ways to approach ending a relationship and none of them are going to be easy, especially if you've been dating for a while. No one likes a confrontation, but breaking up with someone always has this element and you need to be ready to prepare with it. There is no exact way to break up with someone, all you can prepare for is what the ideal circumstances would be and what you absolutely shouldn't do.

How to Talk to Your Partner

  • Make a date where you two can meet, in private. Don't choose a public place; that is completely inappropriate, and cowardly, at that.
  • Remain calm.
  • Make eye contact.
  • Carefully explain yourself. It may be helpful to even prepare yourself the evening before by practicing in front of a mirror.
  • Listen attentively.
  • Answer any questions that your partner has and answer them honestly.
  • Do not tell them that you want to be friends, if you truly do not want to be. It doesn't help things along.
  • If you do want to be friends, genuinely express that.
  • Decide what to do from there. Say your goodbyes, plan to stay in touch, try to work things out, after never know what will happen.


What Might Happen When I Try to Break Up With My Partner?

  • You might get let off 'easy'. If you're feeling that you've become distant in your relationship with each other, and respectfully express that, he or she probably feels that distance, too.
  • You might be asked to work things out. You'll have a decision to make.
  • You might be yelled and cursed at. Remain calm.
  • You might have to watch as panic ensues as your significant starts balling his or her eyes out. Again, remain calm.
  • You might experience that your partner wants to try spending some time apart for a while. Listen carefully and choose what you want to do.
  • Expect the unexpected. Anything can happen.

What was your last break up like?

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Things to Remember

You may attempt to end your relationship and you can't bring yourself to do it. Don't beat yourself up about it and see it as an opportunity to perhaps rebuild your relationship. If you can't do that, be more firm on your next attempt. Many people cannot break up with someone that they still respect on the first attempt.

One final thing, and you can take it with a grain of salt, of course, but if you just can't seem to end things, perhaps the universe is trying to tell you something?



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    • EyesStraightAhead profile image

      Shell Vera 6 years ago from Connecticut, USA

      Thank you for writing a quality hub about this! For my latest hub, I really wanted to share some other writing from fellow Hubbers relating to what I was sharing and yours was one of three I really enjoyed on this topic. Should I start dating again, I know where to come when I am ready to end it! :)

    • getoveryourextips profile image

      getoveryourextips 6 years ago from Sydney

      Cheers for the tips. Breakups always suck. It's nice when there's help available during this time...

    • profile image

      LAmatadora 8 years ago

      That's right. And that's how I have always done it!

    • girly_girl09 profile image

      girly_girl09 8 years ago from United States

      Thanks for reading! It is definitely hard to break up with someone that you respect and still care about, but sometimes it needs to be done. It might as well be done in a tactful and classy manner!

    • profile image

      LAmatadora 8 years ago

      good hub! Break ups can be hard to instigate at times and no matter the outcome whether you remain friends or not, unfortunately someone always loses. And the breaking of ones heart is inevitable. Nice examples of ways to tactfully end it. =)