Bro Codes To Live By
Writing my blogs I have put a lot of How I Met Your Mother references. One of the characters of How I Met Your Mother is Barney Stinson ( Neil Patrick Harris ). He is a womanizer. Drinks Scotch with class. Wears suits like Frank Sinatra did, but better. Barney has names for a lot of situations. Plays to pick up women. The most important rule or should I say code that he follows...the "Bro Code". Today, I will make a list of bro codes and add some from the greatest show ever "How I Met Your Mother"!!!! that everyone should follow.
A Bro Should Only Cry To These Movies
Field of Dreams, 300, Terminator, Tommy Boy (when Farley's dad dies.), Sandlot, Saving Private Ryan, Any movie that a fellow soldiers best friend dies in war, Rocky IV (when Apollo dies.), Armageddon, Pearl Harbor, Braveheart, Rudy, Shawshank Redemption, Schindler's List, Million Dollar Baby, Love Actually, Mystic River, The Lion King, and I have to stop naming films because I'm wetting my keyboard with tears.
A Bro Always Admits He Farted In A Car Full Of Guys
You're not a girl. You're in a car full of men who can handle the smell. Don't be the guy who says, "ohhh, who farted?" . We know it was you...
A Bro Never Hooks Up With A Bro's Ex
Exception: If they were fuck buddies, always ask the bro if it's cool for you to "Tap It.".
A Bro Never Hangs With A Bro's Ex
A Bro Always Takes One For The Team
If your friend is getting a girl and her friend is trying to make her leave...help him out and distract her. Even if she is ugly. Converse. Get her shots. Hell, put your tongue in her mouth. One day your bro will have to help you out.
A Bro Never Orders Long Island Ice Tea's
"It's strong and gets me hammered!". I don't care. You take shots for that.
A Bro Only Dances If He's Dancing With A Girl
Don't go to the dance floor and dance by yourself. You look like you took a heavy drug. DO NOT DANCE WITH A GROUP OF GUY FRIENDS. Exception: If your gay.
A Bro Never Owns A Cat, Bird, or Fish
A Bro Never Goes After The Girl A Bro Called Dibs On
Exception: If he's your fat friend or if she shows more interest in you.
A Bro Never Makes Fun Of A Friend After His Favorite Sports Team Lost
It's like making fun of his parents after they passed away...it's just wrong. Exception: If he made fun of you when your favorite team lost.
A Bro Never Buys A Bro A Birthday Gift
Exception: A bottle of liquor or a case of beer.
A Bro Never Talks About His Workout Routine
A Bro Never Uses A Urinal That's Right Next To The Other Bro
A Bro Never Watches Food Network, Lifetime, Oxygen, Hallmark, And Any Channel Showing Figure Skating
Exception: Lifetime Channel 11:30 A.M. Weekdays and 11-12 P.M. for How I Met Your Mother
A Bro's Tan Should Be Natural, Not From A Tanning Bed
A Bro Never Wears Bright Neon V-Necks
Exception: If the girl you're trying to bang likes that style (Guidette or European).
A Bro Should Never Say, "Lets Get Ice Cream"
When Fixing A Car, A Bro Always Smears The Oil On His Forehead
We're men. We're made out of oil and steel.
A Bro Only Wears A Scarf With A Jacket
Exception: If you're hiding a hickey from your girlfriend. Wear scarf with whatever.
A Bro Never Holds A Woman's Purse
A Bro Should Never Wear Thong Sandals
A Bro Should Never Rollerblade
Exception: Roller Hockey.
Never Compliment A Bro On His Abs
Exception: If there are girls around and you're trying to hook him up with an assist.
A Bro Should Never Say What The Ratio Of A Place Is Until He Is At The Location. Never Guess Or Say, "I Heard It's Going To Be Good."
At A Party, If A Bro Grabs An Instrument And Starts Playing It. Every Bro In The Party Has Every Right To Make Fun Of Him.
A Bro Should Only Like One Chick Flick
Exception: If there's girls around. Tell them your true number of favorite chick flicks.
A Bro Never Says, " That's Adorable."
A Bro Never Cries Over An Ex
Exception: If she passed away.
A Bro Should Never Like Grease or Footloose
Never Leave A Bro Behind
Always Help A Bro In A Fight
Exception: If he said or did something to get into a fight. Therefore, help him after he gets hit with 3 good hits.
A Bro Should Only See A Bro's Penis On Three Occasions
1) 3-way 2.) Locker Room 3.) He thinks he has an STD and wants you to check it.
A Bro Must Never Distract Him From The Following Video Games:
Halo, Call of Duty, Any sports game, Rock Band.
Never Hit A Bro In The Balls
Exception: He hit you first in the balls
A Bro Never Bangs A Bro's Sister
Exception: She asked for it.
A Bro Only Puts Smiley Faces In Text Messages To Girls
A Bro Never Makes Fun Of A Bro's Girlfriend
A Bro Should Only Wear A Seat belt When It's Snowing
A Bro Should Only Wear Black Or Brown Belts