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Buying lingerie for the woman you love - a man's guide!

Updated on March 6, 2010

Valentine's Day? Birthday? Anniversary? ...

There are many, many occasions when we men want to buy our loved ones something beautiful, but how do we make sure we get it right?

Firstly: what kind of thing does she like?

This is the most important question! If you're not asking yourself what she likes, then chances are your gift won't go down very well - don't just buy something that you think looks hot or sexy.

Think about what lingerie she actually wears regularly:

  • Is there a particular colour or group of colours that she prefers? If she always wears black and dark tones you'll have more luck with something dark than something bright.
  • Plain? Patterned? Lacy? This is about style - again you don't want to be veering too far away from what your loved one likes.
  • Does she have any favourite brands? It may be that she's found through experience that certain brands fit her better than others.
  • Cut. This is deceptively important! Most women prefer - for any number of reasons - a certain type: Thong? Full panties? Boy shorts? Hipster or not? Full cup or balconette bra? Take the time to assess what she actually feels comfortable wearing!

Not to say you can't mix things up a bit, but if you stay within - or close to - your lover's comfort zone you'll have a much higher chance of buying a gift she loves.

The single best piece of advice I can give is probably this: If you aim for "classy," she'll always feel sexy; if you aim for "sexy," then she often won't feel classy! On this note, unless you know otherwise, babydolls, stockings & suspenders are dangerous territory - and split crotches are definitely out!

Getting the size right

This is where a lot of men can fall down. Take the time to work out the right size - discreet questioning, and even-more-discreet label checking, can help to reduce this hurdle.

Again, take time to check through a lot of the lingerie she actually wears - be aware that some in the drawer may not fit right, so concentrate on the favourites.

Bear in mind that there are some brands that are larger / smaller / oddly sized - otherwise it would be far too easy for us - which brings me nicely to my next point:

Returns policy

With so much that could cause problems, this is an important point to remember:  Buy your gift within the store's returns period, and have a contingency plan, just in case!

Despite the best planning in the world, your gift may not fit properly, or there may be some detail your loved one doesn't like.  Don't worry!  Just send it back and get the right size, or a different style, or use the money to take her out for dinner.

It's better to try - and as they always say, it's the thought that counts.  This is why the point above about classy vs sexy is so crucial - most women will be happy that you tried to buy something beautiful that you thought they'd like, even if you got it a bit wrong!

To recap:

  1. Always consider whether your loved one will actually want to wear the lingerie you are buying - classy is always the way to go!
  2. Take time to check you get the right size - don't be embarrassed to sneak a peek.
  3. Check that you'll have a realistic window to return your gift in case it the fit or colour isn't quite right.
  4. This should really go without saying - buy a matching set!

Good luck!

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