The True Meaning and Nature of Love
Caring for others
There are so many meanings and definition of the word love. Love is simply care. When you love someone you simply mean you care about someone and you want to protect and advance his or her life. So if you say you love a person, it simply means that you are highly interested in performing the above named duties on that person. You want to be responsive to the person's difficulties and make impact on the person's life.
When it comes to the issue of love; care, protection and advancement become inseparable. That is, you cannot say you love people when you made not bothered about their welfare, security and progression. You can only say you love when you have cared, protected and advanced the lives of people.
Care, protection and advancement are synonymous, however with slight differences.
Care according to the New Webster Dictionary, defines care as a serious attention, watchfulness, caution, protection, charge, anxiety, concern and worry. Care is also defined as being concerned with what concerns the other person; being troubled with what bothers the other person. If someone professes to love you, it thus implies that the person is always concerned with what concerns you and is always troubled with what troubles you.
I will explain to you what every person's concern should be and what anyone who claims to love you should be concerned about. This is to help you I know those who sincerely love you and also to let you know it when you truly love people and when you don't. You also need this knowledge to fathom if tour spouse actually loves you or not; thereby, answering the questions that people often ask "how do I know my spouse loves me?"
Is your friend or spouse concerned about you and your plans? Does he/she seek to improve you?
Love Has Duties
To a certain degree, everyone is aware of the fact that we all have a purpose to accomplish in life, whether God given or self-imposed. In the light of this, every man's duty is therefore to seek necessary truth, knowledge, understanding and wisdom into the purpose of his life and the possibility of its achievement. As a result, every man's primary concern should be on how to discover his life pursuit and how to get the relevant knowledge, understanding and wisdom necessary form its accomplishment. Based on this fact, whoever loves you with an attitude of care will support you in the search form your life's goal, and assist you in getting the relevant knowledge and finance necessary for its attainment. Any other kind of care displayed outside this is either classified as "fun love" or "sex love". The real love aims at helping you in the discovery of your life goal and in its attainment. Whoever is going about this, truly cares about you. On the other hand, whoever is not doing this don't care in any way, no matter how sweet his or her words may sound.
The reason the knowledge of one's purpose and the possibility of its attainment should be everyman's primary concern is because such is the essence of life and its fulfillment. Every man's dream is to stay happy and fulfilled throughout his entire life on earth. The only precise way to get this achieved is by knowing what one's purpose is and seeking every possibility of its achievement or attainment.
The goal that one imposes on oneself is extrinsic in natrue, while the one based on one's self is intrinsic. Researches proves that goals that we create for ourselves can in no way be compared with the ones in line with our nature or design. The joy and fulfillment one will derive from his self imposed goal doesn't sustain throughout one's life time, but for awhile. It is only those going about the goals that appeal to their nature that will encounter eternal fulfillment.
But very few people understand this fact. The study made by National Federation of Independent Business Foundation revealed that, people who chose their life goals based on the design of their nature represents 16 percent of people's source of goal idea. Dr. Gerald Kushel, in 1991 identified the three dimensions of success after he interviewed 1,200 people from different works of life, lawyers, artists, blue-collar workers etc. He called the first one, successful careers. The second one, satisfying work; and the third one, he called "Rich personal lives". He said, "All of them achieved success in their careers,and so have one-dimensional success. 15 percent enjoyed neither their job nor their personal lives. 80 percent enjoyed their work but not their personal lives; and thus achieved two-dimensional success. They thought their successful and enjoyable careers resulted from willingness to sacrifice their peesonal lives. Only 4 percent enjoyed work and their lives. Therefore anyone who teaches you to see the importance of goal in line with your nature or God-given goal over your self-imposed goal cares about your fulfillment in life and as a result, is in love with you.
If you, as a person, don't understand the fact that your life goal is the most paramount issue, of course you won't be concerned or bothered about it. It is certain that you will not appreciate anyone pointing your attention to it. Though, the word "care" as been defined earlier as "being concerned with what concerns the other person; but real love doesn't just get concerned about anything but the right thing. As a matter of fact, your major concern should be revolving around your life objectives and aspirations so that i can find it easy to love you. But in a situation whereby your concern is revolving around something else, there is no how i can love you except to first help you in identifying what your concern should be. This, however, is why I cannot love you except you first lobe yourself.
Love Achieves Life's Goals
There are certain people you meet who are not concerned about their purpose but concern themselves with something else. When you try to disapprove of their values, pointing to them what is right to value, they wnd up concluding that you do not love them. Their own definition of love is "being concerned with my concern whether right or wrong" whereas, real love onlky gets concerned about the right thing.
You can only love people when they love themselves and how do you know they love themselves? When they prioritize their God given pursuit above every other thing. If they don't, you cannot truly love them. If you want to love such a person, you must first dedicate yourself to teaching the person on the preference of life that prioritizes ones life's goal ober every other thing. Our life is not a mere collection of days and months, we have a reason for living.
In relation to opposite sex, if a man tells a lady that he loves her, what he means is "I want to take part in the achievement of your life's goals" and not " I want to marry you". Love is certainly not marriage, and marriage is not love. It is just that it is advisable to marry who you love.