- Gender and Relationships
Can We Really Have an Open Mind?
Do we let preconceived thoughts dictate unconsciously?
A situation that I know of through a friend has led my active brain to mull over the concept of having an open mind. Let me back up and share some of the basic information. This friend allowed a friend of the opposite sex to move in with her over the summer, she even drove to get him. They had previously, via long distance, attempted to explore something more than friendship, but because of distance and a lot of things going on in both their lives it didn't work out and they even went their separate ways for a little while. However, during the planning of the move, they both brought up the subject of what to do if something more happened. They both decided to just let things happen as they may, not to push anything, and go with the flow. Turns out things didn't go so well, and the one friend who moved admitted that they had always thought things wouldn't work out in a pleasant way and felt they shouldn't have started something to begin with. The one friend who went to get the one friend, admitted to having reservations but mainly because of being newly single and not sure about how to proceed in this type situation anymore. But did want to learn to let go and just let things turn out as they will. Well as I said before, things didn't end up so well. No one is to blame in this situation, it just leads me to wonder how much we sabotage ourselves and potential relationship with thoughts based on previous experiences. Becuase both had reservations, did those reservations impact how they reacted with each other? Did the trepedation of venturing into a new realm of their relationship because of the previous failures they had gone through affect how things progressed? These are the types of questions that are going about my brain. Both claimed to have had an open mind about how things would progress, but yet, I really don't think so.
I'm a firm believer in what we send out to the Universe in thought and deed, whether good or bad comes back on us. When we think of only the negative things that could happen over and over, like a broken record, and not take a look at the positive then all we will get back will be negative things. Our minds and the Universe will act together in some sick twisted way and make sure that the negative things we were thinking will happen, but will make sure it hurts in a way we never thought possible. Howeverin the same vein, if we think positive thoughts, and face whatever fears we may have then our minds and the Universe will find a way to make things go the way they should but not be as painful and will even make something good happen even if not in a way we expected but better.
This is not to say I have rose colored glasses on and think that everything will be perfect just by thinking positive, because that is hardly the case. I'm one of those that has a hard time looking at things in a positive light all the time. I suffer from mild depression and have a tendency to think the negative. But by sheer force of will, I attempt to focus on the blessings I have in my life and the good things and good people I am surrounded by, and it helps. I don't always think the negative thoughts, and when I adhere to the mantras that build me up instead of pull me down, then good things and people come into my life, and not in the way I ever expected, but always welcome. I also have had the experience when I think negatively and all the things that could possibly go wrong, those things that could go wrong do, and in a very painful way. Almost as if the Universe is trying to smack me on the head, as if to say now why did you go and think of bad things?
I know how much easier said than done that sounds, but it really is that easy. It's just a matter of replacing bad thoughts with good thoughts. I don't mean you have to go and give yourself delusions of grandeur, but little things like, I am a good person and deserve good things to happen to me. Or even as ridiculous as it sounds, look yourself in the eye in the mirror and tell yourself you love you. We tell everyone else we love them, and sometimes we need a reminder that we need to love ourselves too.
Try for two weeks thinking good things and you will start to see little changes happening. And what happens is that it becomes a habit. Unfortunately though, our minds are not so easily fooled and will attempt to change the thinking bad to the way it was before and there will be bumps encountered, but I've come to discover that the bumps are only as bad as you let them be. When the bad things happen instead of allowing your mind to go back to the old way of dealing with things, take a deep breath, slowly let it out and say to yourself, ok, how can I fix this, what are all my options. Eventually your mind will find a solution in a manner that will be beneficial to all, but more beneficial to you.
When they say mind over matter, I have come to realize sometimes it is as simple as that. I can only control my actions and reactions. I am the only one who can determine the who, what, where and when that will affect my life.
Just something to think on.