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Can You Forgive After Your Significant Other Has An Affair?

Updated on November 16, 2009

 Is it possible to forgive your significant other after they have knowingly cheated on you? This is one question that I think most people in relationships won't know the answer to until they have that experience. Many people can say "If he/she cheats on me I'm gone!" However, love is a powerful emotion, it'll make the most logical of people do some of the most uncharacteristic things in the world (trust me I've been there). In most cases there are precipitating factors that most significant others fail to see. If you and your significant other aren't talking or seeing each other as much, that can lead some some straying away from their loyalty. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but you have to take care of a relationship like you would a pet. You have to check on it constantly, feed it, keep it healthy, talk to it, and sometimes do things you don't want to do in order to keep it satisfied. if you don't take care of a pet, then what happens? It dies... same as a relationship. If you don't take care of your relationship, then you can't get mad when someone else picks up your slack.

I'm saying that to say this, most of the time adultery is not precipitated (I say most, because some people are just animals and will sleep with anything with 2 legs), it's when the current relationship is lacking something and neither party communicates this to the other.

So the question is asked again, can you forgive after a partner cheats on you? I think people should forgive, I'm not saying that you have to stay in a relationship with that person, but forgiveness is essential. It acknowledges that you have put the pain behind you and can move on as a person and won't hold that hurt inside.

Forgiveness is essential if you stay with the partner who had an affair because if you don't forgive them and you stay with them, then there will never be any trust in the relationship and anytime your suspicions peak, you will more than likely accuse that person of cheating again and start an argument. Also, some people are vindictive and they feel, if you cheated on me, then I can cheat on you and they will go have meaningless sex with someone they may not even care about just to dish out the pain that you gave to them.

Forgiveness is essential if you don't stay with that person because you may be the type of person who believes that if one partner cheats, then another partner will cheat and you may take your issues of mistrust from a previous relationship and project that onto a person who may have no intention of ever having an affair and you don't need those kind of issues in the beginning of a relationship.

So, again I ask, can YOU forgive a partner after they have an affair? Even though it may be beneficial to you to do so, the answer is still up to you.


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    • osionline profile image

      osionline 8 years ago

      If God can forgive us our sins by sending His precious Son Jesus to die for us, then we can as well forgive provided the partner sincerely apologies. Maybe lost led him or her into it. It is difficult but is is posible. We are humans.