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Can You Forgive a Man Who Has Raped You
Question asked by a lady who was raped!
Can You Forgive a Man Who Has Raped You?
'Emotion is impermanent just like everything else in this world. Nothing lives forever. Just like happiness - anger & hatred may not last forever as well...I believe it wont be easy to forgive a rapist but would it matter after 30 - 40 years after the incident? When you know that you or he, or both of you are in the last stage of your life, & although he wasnt punished but he regretted for what he did?'
By Dale Ovenstone updated April 2012
As a guy reading this act of mental & physical violation, I am deeply appalled, 'how a so called man' as the physically stronger sex, should take advantage of over powering another human being, illegally & unethically, bullying sexually, to his own lustful benefit of satisfaction!
There is no question or even remorse in his own mind, concerning the short & the utmost impeccably long term emotional & physical implications he has now endeared onto another human being, & all of those around her are affected tenfold, her friends, her family, maybe her children & even her upcoming or present lover, for the rest of her life, & theirs too.
There is definitely something missing or not right inside his emotional brain, or even his genetic make up!
This guy, & others like him, is one bad person that stands out from many good people!
Selfish Act. No Consideration. No Remorse!
As an author & writer here on hubpages I like to add my input on relationship, dating & attraction issues & was drawn along towards this article question outlined above, & I want to now add my sincere sympathies to the sad experiences of all of the people & the writers who responded, & all of those concerned about this issue herein.
I Have a Friend, She Was Raped Also!
I'm in touch with a lady my own age, she's a great woman, she & I talk openly & she was raped when she was just nine years old. In fact, as sad as her experience is, she didn't even know at the time, just being nine, if what was happening to her, was even right or wrong!
As a guy hearing her pleas my own heart sinks every time she brings up the subject.
I can actually feel her emotions of anger, sorrow, sadness & confusion.
She Radiates This Fear Outwards. Her Anger. I Pick Up On It On An Emotional Level!
She tries to hide her torture from others!
She is embarrassed.
Sad but true!
I sympathise applicably with my friend but there's nothing I can do but only to listen to her!
The nightmares she endures are constantly on her mind & she is heartbroken & confused every time she talks about her ordeal, (but she keeps on bringing up the subject) this so called 'man' was in his forties at the time & married to her sister & still lives in the area so they (almost) bump into each other from time to time!
Should I Report Him For Raping Me?
Her question is, should she report him, but it was so long ago, she was so frightened back then, & she was only a child, what would people think of her?
Like it was her fault or something!
What would her parents think? Her family, her friends, even, her sister (who is now divorced from this monster but has no idea about his past history) & in her mind (my friends') no one would believe her anyway.
Or so she thinks!
But I believe her.
Her question still is, even to this very day, should she report him for rape, for savagely taking away her virginity, trust & violating her all that time ago, but she won't!
She has thought about this question for all those years, should I shouldn't I but, there is something only she knows about, stuck in the back of her mind, that is preventing her!
Does that mean this guy got away with his horrific crime all those years ago?
This lovely lady, my friend, who is now around 50, has been on medication on & off since the time it all happened, emotionally, she is quite mixed up because of her ordeal, & she still has nightmares, a very rocky marriage, involving frigidity with her husband & even affairs behind his back, but now she is divorced & getting on with her life the best she knows.
Her current relationships lack trust, because of her ordeal, her perception about men!
Her Trust In Men Has Been Lost Forever!
But does it really have to be this way?
Should I Forgive Him?
I don't know if it is a case of forgiveness for such a personal violation of another's trust & deep emotions, & being a male myself, & I know I may be out of my depths here, but I have seen the implications it causes to my friend & it makes me very upset for her.
A woman, who has been raped, can very easily lose her trust in all men & this is really sad, as deep in the back of her mind she will probably tar almost all other men with the same brush.
Even, over a period of time, if she is in a relationship with him.
This prevents her from being a true natural woman of freedom, beauty, joy, happiness & pleasure that she is born to be, & every lady deserves, as a woman, emotionally caring, as a human being, kind & considerate, but, some overpowering monster, with a screw missing, comes along one day & takes it all away from her for his own selfish inconsiderate act of lust!
Forgiveness is the only way to release & grow. Forgive yourself First-Always!
You have not got to like that person, or even associate with him ever. But still, it is hard for me to even input here as rape has not happened to me so please excuse my approach, I just wanted to offer my sincere verdict on this response about this emotionally damaging issue, from a guys perspective. The question is....
Can I Forgive A Man Who Raped Me?
Thank you for taking your time to read this article, below, I have included two links, one is for you to consider writing about your own experiences here on hubpages if you would like too, I would be honoured for you to use my link I have provided, this is a very popular article subject, read by many who have endured such pain, you can not only help yourself, but others too, let readers know how you felt at the time, how you feel right now, how you are coping with your ordeal, by sharing your words on paper, begin to feel many positive & negative emotions residing within, bring them all up, think about each emotion wisely, let it all out in your words & please share your story with us & all the readers of the past & the future.
The link below that one may not be a concern to you but I have included it because the subject concerns issues of trust within your current relationships. You can download this book onto your Kindle or Computer! To read more just click onto the book cover when you follow the link through to Amazon Kindle Store
Regards Dale Ovenstone
Write About Your Own Experiences! Release Your Past
- Signup For HubPages release yourself & help others
Write about your experiences, you are not alone, tell others too! Help Release yourself, your emotions, put your words down help others know they are not alone! Sign into hubpages, choose yourself a pen name, begin releasing your experiences.
Are They Cheating Behind My Back?
- Amazon.com: Don't Trust Your Lover Anymore-Do This Instead. eBook: Dale Ovenstone: Kindle Store
By Dale Ovenstone. Relationship issues of trust. Are They Cheating Behind My Back? Here's What To Do About it. Find The Answer Inside This Downloadable E-book click onto the book cover to read more inside!