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- Non-Monogamous Relationships
Should Women Have more than one Husband?
This can quickly come off as an outrageous question especially from a man’s point of view. But before you judge, let’s explore some facts.
One of mankind’s biggest achievements of this century is the concept of gender equality, and woman emancipation. Women and men are no longer just equal in the eyes of God, but also in the eyes of common law that governs society today. This in essence means that what a man can do, so can a woman. (Except of course child birth and related activities)
Secondly, the idea isn’t as alien as you might think. Polyandry; the term used to summarize the act of a woman having more than one husband has been around since ancient history. According to Raymond Hames, a professor of anthropology and Katherine starkweather, both of the University of Nebraska; there are more documented anthropologic accounts of polyandrous unions than have previously been known in the classic polyandrous Tibetan region.
With the above eye opening facts in mind, we can attempt to discuss the matter without undue prejudice, and as objectively as possible.
Share your opinion
Would there be harmony in a home with one wife and several husbands?
But why can’t a woman have multiple husbands?
Many communities around the world accept polygamy. Men are allowed to marry more than one wife, as long as they have the ability to satisfy their needs. Why is it so unacceptable for the same to be true for women? This question has always silently lingered around since the emergence and acceptance of gender equality, but has never been satisfactorily addressed. Even religion seems to simply brush it off as immoral. Could it be because we are actually living in a man’s world?
It is no secret that quite often, some women engage in sexual relationships with more than one man at the same time. In fact society has found names for such women, labeling them as sluts. Despite the stigma, the practice goes on anyway, and many times without any of the men ever suspecting. This in my opinion means that women actually have what it takes to handle more than one man. (At least sexually) So why should we keep sweeping the subject under the carpet and pretend that it does not exist?
Some problems associated with polyandry are discussed below;
- There is a big predicament that can result from a woman having several husbands. In the event that she gets pregnant, it would almost be impossible for her to identify the true father of the child. This would deny the child his natural right of knowing who his biological father is. Even the father would want to know if he actually fathered the child for purposes of lineage and continuity.
But now with the development of DNA technology, this shouldn’t be a hindrance any more. A woman can sleep with several men, get pregnant, and there after accurately determine who the real father of the child is, with a simple DNA test. This actually happens in real life. Women are more sexual than most men would want to believe. If you can’t satisfy her, she will get it from elsewhere, with or without your knowledge. That’s nature. Rather than wishing it away, why can’t we simply accept it?
2. The question and ultimately the second predicament is; who would be the head of the family in a situation where one woman has multiple husband's?
In order to deal with this, it is important to understand what the roles of the head of the family are. These include providing basic needs such as food shelter and clothing for the family. He/she also provides security as well as ensuring cohesion in the home. There is no doubt that women around the world provide these for their families on a daily basis, regardless of whether they are single mothers or not. They are therefore fully capable of heading the family. But even then, providing for the family shouldn’t always be a burden for the family head alone. Other able bodied members of the family can contribute to the well-being of the home.
Women work hard and often make able leaders. The question is how well can they administer a home that has children and several husbands? Can the husbands accept to be under the able leadership of their wife? Should the first husband take the leadership role? Will there be harmony in this home? This is open to discussion.
As preposterous as it may sound, I believe the subject of polyandry is worth discussing rather than deliberately keeping a blind eye. Whether we like it or not, it’s here with us disguised as infidelity. We can at least start with those communities that accept polygamy. We live in a society that accepts same sex marriage. What is so impossible about a woman marrying more than one man, if they feel like they can handle?
And while I was at this one, a crazy idea crossed my mind. Would it be acceptable for one man to marry both a woman and a man at the same time? It’s a free world after all. Hmmmm!
© 2016 Ian Batanda