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Relationships Lasting Forever: Do They Really Exist?

Updated on November 4, 2016
Alessio Ganci profile image

Human relationships, families: sometimes I like to get deep into these topics, by expressing my personal opinions!

Before starting analyzing the question, I should report my experience: my parents are married and they are in love since the young age: they are the demonstration a relationship can last forever. The part of the question I am going to analyze is how common is to find a lifetime relationship, if they are something rare and often confined to movies or TV series or if they can be more common than you thing Many people have a lot of love experiences and that may show us they often decay over time. But why does this happen? In this hub I will try to answer this question, by providing my personal opinions about this fact.

Source
Stop, wait... are your really saying "I love you" to a person you have found on a chat 5 minutes ago?
Stop, wait... are your really saying "I love you" to a person you have found on a chat 5 minutes ago? | Source

"I Love You"

The first aspect I should analyze is how love is considered by new generations. It always depends on single cases, but I see a lot of people of my age who are in love and after 2-3 months end their relationship. At the same time it often happened to me to receive messages like "I love you" or invitations to start a relationship directly to my WhatsApp account, from people I have never seen face-to-face. So at a first glance, I can see in my generation love is not always considered as a serious thing, but something to start with a casual person in order to "be cool and not be a geeky single". Luckily not all people think like this (and especially my boyfriend demonstrated me true love, and never started anything on WhatsApp before having seen me face-to-face), but surely there are many people who undervalue love, start relationships on WhatsApp or say "I love you" to entire discos on Friday nights.

Affinity Between Two People

Starting relationships too early, without knowing each other so much, has another consequence: you risk to discover you are uncompatible with you partner: behaviours you do not like, different ways of thinking, in general, the so called "affinity" between two people. If two people are dating for many times, they can start discover if they are made to stay tohether, if they are perfectly in tune with each other. But if two people just decide to start a relationship just because they knew the night before, they will probably end it in little months or less.

Source

What is the first thing you look in a girl/boy?

See results

Love or Physical Attraction?

There is another aspect to consider: you fall in love, but are you sure it is true love? When I was single, and boys were all ready to try to have something with me, it was very common for me to receive messages like "You are very cool", "I love your body" and similar things. When a boy/girl wants to start a relationship with you, and the most aspect he/she remarks is how beautiful you are, that relationship will be probably a fail. If you are really in love, physical attraction is the last thing you consider in your partner.

Source

Predisposition to Engagement

Another thing we should admit: not everyone may feel to be ready to engage with someone. Maybe if you are too young and you are unsure about starting a relationship, or also if, in general, you are not so much prone to engage with someone, and you prefer the freedom of being single and having short stories with various people every time. If you feel you are not ready for a true engagement, and you still decide to start a relationship with someone, maybe because "single is not cool", there is a risk the relationship will fail.

Relationships Lasting Forever

Let's face it: relationships lasting forever are rare, however there are some aspects that can increase the probabilities a relationship can be "ethernal". Are the two guys really in love, without considering physical appearance? Are both predisposed to engagement? And how did their relationship started? With a "I love you" sent on WhatsApp, or after days and days of meetings face-to-face? After having considered these aspects, you can think about if a relationship may potentially last forever, or not.

 
The perfect relationship
The worst relationship
Is based on...
Days spent knowing each other, realizing they are really in tune with each other
A "I love you" sent on WhatsApp to someone you still have to meet face-to-face
The aspects you like
You like behaviours, you feel good when you are with your partner, first of all.
At the first place, you only focus on how much your partner is phisically beautiful. You are so attracted by his/her body that you don't even know if you will feel good once engaged with him/her
Attitude to engagement
Is between two people who are really ready to be engaged
Is between people who want to engage only because "single is not cool"
A little comparison between how an "ideal" relationship should be, in order to increase the chances it can last forever, and the "worst" model of relationship.

Check also 5 types of partners you should definitely avoid!

Finally, when talking about behaviours, it is important to think about if your partner is smart enough to allow you hanging out with your friends, or if he / she is so jealous that you cannot even watch another girl/boy in photo. If a relationship becomes a "police case" in which the two partners are tied to each other, surely we cannot talk about a good relationship. I personally hate jealous people, and I would never give away my freedom of hanging out with my friends in order to stay with someone.

And you, what are your opinions about relationships lasting forever? What are the best elements that should be present in a good relationship for you?

© 2016 Alessio Ganci

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    • Ngozi Ebubedike profile image

      Ngozi Ebubedike Ahumibe 22 months ago from Lagos, Nigeria

      In spite of all the enlightenment, all the literature on love, romance and relationship out there, people are losing their sense of direction when it comes to committed relationships. It seems as if there are forces fighting to box committed relationship out of existence.

      These forces are sociological, economical and moral issues, the problems these three constituted have contributed to the brevity of committed relationship in today’s world.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 23 months ago

      In the U.S. the average person loses their virginity at age 17.

      The average age of a first time married woman is 27 and for men its 29. Therefore the average person has 10+ years of sexual experience prior to getting married. Odds are when they finally do get married it won't be to their (first) lover.

      Truth be told very few people at age 17 know (who they are) let alone what traits they want and need in a mate for life!

      Our youth generally is a time for learning, growing, and evolving and we develop or craft our own life philosophy based upon our experiences.

      I believe there are 3 basic reasons why people divorce.

      1. They chose the wrong mate

      2. They got married for the wrong reasons

      3. They fell out of love over time and stopped wanting the same things.

      Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys!

      Compatibility trumps compromise every single day.

      Other factors that have changes in our society aside from pre-marital sex being the norm is women having more equality and options. In past generations if a woman was unhappily married to man she may have felt she had no choice but to ride it out because (he) was the breadwinner, provider, and had all the financial power. A lot of women didn't have college educations or work prior to the 1960s. They were "homemakers" and financially dependent on their husbands. A divorce meant a major change in living standards for both spouses. There were lots of "emotional divorced" people.

      With the advent of birth control pills, better career opportunities, higher pay, along with the elimination of stigmas associated with pre-marital sex, cohabitating, and having children out of wedlock today's women have more options. They don't have to stay in unhappy marriages.

      In the U.S. 66% or 2/3rds of all divorce filings are initiated by (women).

      The more options one has the less crap they will put up with. :)

      One man's opinion!:)

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