Can a Relationship Survive After Someone Cheats?
It's easy to give advice to others when they share their stories about cheating or getting cheated on in relationships, but it's much different when it happens to you. Being cheated on by a partner is probably one of the most hurtful things that can happen to you in life. It's like all the time, trust, and everything else you have invested into a relationship disappears in one instant and you're left with nothing except questions. The biggest question of them all is probably why. Why it happened and if there is any way to move past it and save the relationship. Can a sinking ship ever be saved though? And if it can, would you ever trust it again?
Nowadays cheating is no longer a taboo topic. We're almost too comfortable with the idea that people cheat in relationships. I am also guilty of being surprised when I find out that two people have been together for many years and have never had an occurence of cheating. I'm just so used to hearing about friends experiencing infidelty in their relationships, that it just doesn't shock me anymore. I don't like how our society has become so relaxed with cheating. It is not normal behavior for someone in a committed relationship, and should not be looked at so lightly.
So what actually defines cheating in a relationship? I guess if you and your partner are both comfortable with an open relationship and have talked about it, cheating isn't really an issue for you. Not too many people are in open relationships though. Most enter one with the idea of exclusivity and committment to one and only one person. If that was the agreement that was made at the beginning of a relationship, then cheating is certainly a behavior that is not supposed to happen. There is no exception to this rule.
Cheating comes in many forms. It's not just sleeping with someone who is not your partner. Cheating can also be as simple as having intimate and personal conversations at all hours with someone who is not your significant other. There's really no reason for this to happen if you are truly commited to your partner. If you are sharing personal thoughts with someone else this is also considered an emotional type of cheating. You should be sharing everything with your partner, not someone outside of the relationship. Flirting is also considered cheating. Even if it's right in front of your partner. This is not only cheating but also straight up rude behavior. Cheating is also other behaviors such as kissing and holding hands with someone who isn't your partner. It may not seem like a big deal, but these types of displays of affection should only be reserved for someone you are dating. If you are single, however, you can do whatever you want with that freedom.
The question that haunts most people who have been cheated on is why? That's a very good question that deserves to have an answer. Most people cheat on their partners because they think that something is missing in their relationship so they look for it elsewhere rather than communicating their frustrations to their significant other. That's not a good reason to cheat, rather I see it as a coward's way out. Instead of fixing the issue with your partner, you're looking for the answers in someone else's bed. If someone is really that uncomfortable talking about issues and communicating with their partner, they really shouldn't be in a relationship to begin with.
For the most part though, happy people don't cheat. Usually it's the ones who feel the grass is greener on the other side that do. Most people who cheat do feel like they're not getting what they want in their partnership so they seek it elsewhere. Then there's a whole other category of people who cheat and their reasons are much more sinister. Some people cheat simply for the thrill of it. They do it for no other reason than their desire for variety and the thrill of getting away with it. These are the most dangerous types of cheaters because they have no real reason to do it but for their own selfish pleasure. There's nothing missing in their relationship except for their desire to explore what else is out there.
So what happens after one or both partners cheat? And can such a relationship even survive? Well that depends on what each partner wants. Usually it's just one of the partners who cheats and other partner is devasted when they find out. Then it's up to them to decide whether to try and work things out or just throw in the towel and move on. After that trust is violated, only you can decide if you can get it back or not. Some people try going to counseling and do work it out and become stronger in the process. Others just cut their losses and decide it's just not worth staying with someone who has proven themselves to be so untrustworthy.
While I can't tell you what to do because I don't know your specific story, I will say that you should never stay with someone who constantly cheats on you and violates your trust. This is not a behavior you should put up with under any circumstances. No one deserves to be cheated on and lied to. If you don't want to be with someone, you should just communicate that to them and move on with your life. Don't lead someone on with no intention of being true to them. This leads me to say that some people simply should not be married or in relationships at all. They like to have their fun out there with no committment and they should find someone who enjoys that type of lifestyle instead of leading a partner to believe they will be faithful in a committed relationship. It really all comes down to understanding yourself and your wants and needs and communicating that to your potential partner. If you can't do that then you really don't have any business being in any type of partnership. It's okay to be single and it's okay to be in a relationship, but it is not okay to act single when you are in a relationship.
Have you ever been cheated on?
Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
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