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Dating: Can You Be Too Picky?
What about you?
Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends?
Develop the "call 'em like I see 'em" superpower!
I am picky. It doesn't matter what it is, shoes, outfits, movies, television shows...choices always present a major challenge for me. Dating guys? Well, I'm probably one of the pickiest girls in the world. Don't believe me? It has been said that I just might be the female version of Jerry Seinfeld. I've had two serious relationships (longest lasting 4 months) and only dated 10 guys. I'm picky. Why is this? I have many close (straight) male friends. Furthermore, is being picky when it comes to dating a bad thing? Not necessarily!
I am so picky when it comes to dating because I know how guys are. Let me explain. I love my guy friends. I really do. They are like brothers to me and can do no wrong. However, I caught myself playfully scolding them this weekend, stating that they are "sooooooo sketchy". To the outside eye, they are absolutely not, but I know how they joke around and what they think about the girls that they pursue. They are articulate, graduates of prestigious colleges and have fantastic jobs....good catches, right? I'm not so sure. I know how they are and I'd never date any of them after knowing what I know. Mostly, I am very thankful for having such close platonic relationships with guys. I know how they operate, I know how they think and this gives me the upper hand when it comes to dating. I can analyze almost any guy that approaches me and know whether or not I want to date him immediately.
For the ladies out there that have no close (straight) guy friends, please try it. Your dating life will change, for the better, I promise! You absolutely should secure one or two close guy friends (not ex-boyfriends, for obvious reasons). You will gain a wonderful perspective as to how guys view women (i.e. are they too clingy, too sweet, too obnoxious, etc). I believe these "insider" topics will help you out when you meet a guy that you really do like. I know that guys get intimidated when girls are too clingy and yes, we do this when we really like a guy. So many times I have seen girls that are so naive and have no clue what most guys are really like and what they truly think.
In closing, I'll be the first to admit that I am really picky when it comes to dating, but I've also not had as many awful dating experiences like so many girls I know. I've shied away from potentially toxic men because of my insights learned from my male friends. Yes, I've had my share of mistakes, but I'm not as naive as most girls out there.
Take my advice. Develop some close, platonic relationships with a few guys in your life and you'll quickly develop analytical skills for the next time that cute guy asks you out. Is he worth it and does he respect you? Chances are, you'll be able to "call 'em like I see 'em" and that, my friends, is never a bad thing. You deserve that insight! I consider it a superpower.