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Can you change a submissive person into a "normal" person

Updated on June 20, 2011

What kinds of submissive people are there

Can you change a submissive person into a "normal" person? In reality it depends on why the person is submissive.

The first kind of submissive person.

I know of Doctors, Lawyers, Business owners, Executives that because they are continually making decisions and have huge pressures upon them to get every decision they make right and have little to no time to make those decisions are submissive in their home lives. This actually allows them to relax from the high stresses of their daily work lives and has huge health benefits like lessoning the chances of cardio vascular diseases (heart attacks etc.), hypertension, high blood pressure, depression, suicidal thoughts and tendencies … the list could go on but I’m going to stop there. These people when needed to can and will step up as a balanced partner and help make decisions.

The second kind of submissive person.

For some people being submissive is simply a live style choice. These people usually have a submissive type job as well as being submissive in their home lives. Many of these people would feel stressed out, unable to cope and confused if they were forced to take charge or make decisions. For some of these people having to take the role of dominance would be like being punished and in fact is sometimes used by their dominant partner as a punishment.

These kinds of submissive people are "normal" and have made lifestyle choices that work for them.

In reality both of the above types of people need and desire a partner who is willing to be the dominant party either most of the time or all the time.

Don’t try to change these people as they are happy with their lifestyle choices.

If you cannot or don’t wish to be the dominant/decision making person in either of these relationships then maybe this isn’t the right partner for you.

Submissive people and slaves

There are different levels of submission, some people call themselves submissive and some call themselves a slave. Again these are in fact "normal" lifestyle choices and are an integral part of who they are and how they think.

Levels of Submission

In either of the above types of submissive people I would consider it normal to find those who have a more submissive role in their home lives but are happy and willing to step up and make decisions when the need arises.

Also those who just don’t want to make the simple decisions like what to have for tea when they get home.

There will also be those that are more submissive and would find it hard to step up if the need arose that they had to but when push comes to shove are able to do so.

Then there would also be those who would find it impossible to make a decision without some sort of guidance or direction from someone else like why don’t you do/try this.

Please note ...

You would find the same differing levels of submission in the type of people listed below however these people did not make the choice upon their own characteristics and it is important not to get them mixed up with those who choose to live as a submissive, sub, slave and feel complete and at ease with their lifestyle choice.

The people below feel quite the opposite in fact they are perpetually fearful and dislike where they are and the life they feel imprisoned and forced into.

The third kind of submissive person.

Sadly there is one other type of submissive person; these are people who used to have balanced relationships until they got into a destructive abusive relationship. These people have over time of being mentally and sadly sometimes physically abused become unsure and finally unable to make decisions for themselves.

Once these people are with a more balanced partner they will slowly become more confidant and sure of themselves. These are the people who can change from being a submissive person because they weren’t in fact submissive in the first instance.

These people may and most do need counselling and a lot of support from family/friends or partners to find themselves again.



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    • Lyn.Stewart profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Auckland, New Zealand

      Hi rmattson ... Thank you for sharing and for stopping by. I am very pleased that you have gotten yourself to a healthy level of submission. Life is to be enjoyed in all that we do.

    • rmattson profile image


      8 years ago from Central,Maine

      I have fallen in the last group, but find myself more now in the top group... I am assertive and in control of much but when it comes to home life (and mainly just behind bedroom doors) I am submissive to my partner. The submission is of choice as you stated and a complete different level than that of the third group I use to feel. Good job.

    • Lyn.Stewart profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Auckland, New Zealand

      Thank you for stopping by and voting marcoujor. It's always a pleasure to get good feedback from great writers.

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 

      9 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Very well written, Lyn... voted UP & USEFUL~~ thank you!

    • Lyn.Stewart profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Auckland, New Zealand

      Thank you. I have had a couple of friends in the last kind of submission as well and wanted people to know there is in fact a difference and the last kind is not cool

    • Granny's House profile image

      Granny's House 

      9 years ago from Older and Hopefully Wiser Time

      Lyn, well done. I know a few including me that were in the last kind of submission. Glad to say not any more.

      voted up

      Welcome to hub pages

    • Lyn.Stewart profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Auckland, New Zealand

      Feel free to leave any comments.


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